web analytics

Dude, my cat is SO HIGH

dude, my cat is so high

My cat is as high as a elephant’s eye. I read an article on animal pain management the other day that said opiates are still the best choice, so I’m guessing they filled her right up with smack. Her pupils were the size of dinnerplates; almost no green showing at all (I got a nice shot of this, but my SD card burped and mangled it). Yep. A Gig kitty of my very own, at last.

smacky mccrackhead

It’s always fun to see Charlotte act goofy. She was three months old, feral and starved nigh unto death when I trapped her with a squirrel trap baited with tuna. By the time she was strong enough to play, she was too old to learn how. I’d dangle a string in front of her, and she’d squint up at me solemnly, like, “yeah. It’s a string. Did you want something, lady?”

Now she got de rubberleg and a tongue that won’t stay in her mouth. Her pupils are back down to usual size this morning, but she’s still teh stoned. She gets a dose in her Friskies for three days, so I got liquid kitteh to play with for a while.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 10, 2008, 8:36 am

What that looks like in color:

bliss kitteh

They left her fangs, so she looks normal. And the birds of Badger House have plenty to worry about. She may not play, but she hunts real good.

Comment from Jill
Time: July 10, 2008, 10:14 am

Sending many good thoughts for a speedy recovery.

(poor little bloody gummed kitteh)

Comment from Gnus
Time: July 10, 2008, 10:24 am

Poor Kitteh. Here’s to a speedy recovery.

Or lots more dope.

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: July 10, 2008, 10:51 am

I know she’s in recovery but she looks so cute! My heart about melted because of the cuteness when I loaded your site.

Comment from Lokki
Time: July 10, 2008, 10:59 am

Catnip haze* all in my kitty brain
Lately things just dont seem the same
Actin funny, but I dont know why
scuse me while I kiss the sky
Catnip haze all around
Dont know if Im comin up or down
Am I happy or in misery?
What ever it is, that Vet put a spell on me
Help me
Help me
Oh, no, no

Catnip haze all in my eyes, uhh
Dont know if its day or night
You got me blowin, blowin my kitty mind
Is it tomorrow, or just the end of time?
Help me
Ahh, yea-yeah, Catnip haze, yeah
Oh, no, oh
Oh, help me
Catnip haze, tell me, baby, tell me
I cant go on like this
Catnip haze
Youre makin me blow my mind…mama
Catnip haze, n-no, nooo
Catnip haze, no, its painful, baby

With apologies to Jimi Hendrix, who was a cool cat; RIP

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 10, 2008, 11:00 am

Oh, not to worry. She’s a very happy girl, while the meds last. She’s awake there. I’m not sure I’ve ever known a cat to purr and lash her tail at the same time.

I’m leaving a bit early to give her today’s dose. We’ll see how she’s feeling this afternoon.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: July 10, 2008, 11:36 am

Is there anybody in there?
Just purr if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?
Come on, now,
I hear you’re feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain
Get you on your paws again.
I’ll need some information first.
Just the basic facts.
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your tail moves but I can’t hear what you’re saying.
When I was a kitten I had a fever
My paws felt just like two balloons.
Now I’ve got that feeling once again
I can’t explain you would not understand
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

Just a little pinprick.
There’ll be no more aaaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it’s working, good.
That’ll keep you going through the show
Come on it’s time to go.

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your tail moves but I can’t hear what you’re saying.
When I was a kitten
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my paw on it now
The cat is grown,
The dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: July 10, 2008, 11:38 am

Poor little puddie. Hope she gets better soon.

Still, “Oooo, Colors” comes to mind….. πŸ™‚

Comment from Jill
Time: July 10, 2008, 11:38 am

I feel compelled to add some song lyrics also…

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that Sweasel gives you
Do some funky stuff, that’s all
Go ask Charlotte
When she’s two feet tall

And if you chase those runny babbits
Cuz you know they’ll get the claw
Say a purple dotted badger
Has given you the call
Look at Charlotte
Splayed out in the hall

Comment from XBradTC
Time: July 10, 2008, 12:01 pm

I’m sorry, I just can’t see any difference between your stoned cat and my sober cat…

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 10, 2008, 12:12 pm

Nice choice, Jill – one of my favourites πŸ™‚

Comment from Dave in Texas
Time: July 10, 2008, 12:14 pm


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 10, 2008, 12:38 pm

Hm. Looks like the stuff that goes in her food is an NSAID, so I think the day of euphoria is over. Still, she seems okay and she ate her food. A little subdued maybe, and a little jumpy. I wonder if she’ll get the morphine itchies?

I’m home, Uncle B.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: July 10, 2008, 12:39 pm

Davie, hav perky-set instead. πŸ™‚

Comment from Nicole
Time: July 10, 2008, 12:48 pm

Aw. I wish people looked as adorable when they were drugged. πŸ˜›

And you all are just far too clever by half. Good songs. πŸ™‚

Comment from Lemur King
Time: July 10, 2008, 1:57 pm

When the cat walks around the house leaning 30 degrees against the nearest wall everywhere she goes, she’s major stoned.

Nope, no help needed here – nothing to see here, everything is under control here – BONK!

At least they don’t feel a thing when they fall over.

Comment from Jill
Time: July 10, 2008, 2:36 pm

“Of course I’m okay. My name is Charlotte. I’m from the streets. I ain’t no ordinary pussy. And tell that poodle down the street that I’m nobody’s bitch.” πŸ™‚

Comment from Lemur King
Time: July 10, 2008, 3:50 pm

Jill… πŸ™‚

Why is it I can perfectly visualize a cat saying exactly that? If they could talk, that is. Actually I’m grateful they can’t talk as I’m afraid that so many of them would sound like Bucky Katt in “Get Fuzzy”.

Comment from Jill
Time: July 10, 2008, 3:59 pm

LK… πŸ™‚

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 10, 2008, 4:11 pm

The house behind has a little white dog that Charlotte has been known to chase right out of the yard. “He’s just trying to make friends! He loves cats,” my neighbor wailed. She calls Charlotte “the mean cat.” And I’m like, “ohhhh, I’m sorry,” <snicker>.

Seriously, my neighbors walk their dogs on everybody else’s lawns. While I’m sitting there in a lawn chair, reading. Like, why don’t keep dog pee to yourself, okay?

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: July 10, 2008, 4:29 pm

Ooo, My dog Princess would probably shed on your leg for that…. LOL πŸ™‚

Comment from Lemur King
Time: July 10, 2008, 4:41 pm

So Weas, what you are describing is what I call a “toy dog”. Way I see it, toy dogs are like Scooby Snacks for German Shepherds (or any other real dog more than 75lbs).

Whups… I betrayed my biases just now, didn’t I?

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: July 10, 2008, 5:21 pm

Hey, now! We have a shih tzu and he’s the cutest thing ever and today is his birthday and he turned 2 today and he got a mechanical pencil (minus eraser, leads, etc.) as a birthday present and he got a trip to the groomer’s as a birthday present and would you believe they bathed and groomed him in just an hour and a half and tomorrow he’s going in to get his other knee fixed and I have no idea why I’m telling you all this.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: July 10, 2008, 5:55 pm

That’s OK, Mushi, I can make a brand new shih-tzu just by brushing my Lab-Shepard with the deshedding brush and combining the hair….

Or, at least, a good sized Chihuahua….

Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: July 10, 2008, 6:16 pm

Poor kitty.

I concur, LK. My position is that a dog should be big enough to do actual work, such as herding, pulling a sled, or rescuing people.

Of course, I conveniently ignore the fact that terriers (such as my sister’s filthy little Yorkies) are bred for rat hunting.

Comment from Steve Skubinna
Time: July 10, 2008, 6:19 pm

After my kid brother went to college, my parents took custody of his cat Mrs. Murphy. As Murph got older she got crankier and developed a predilection to shred things with her claws. So my folks had her declawed.

Murph came home from the vet with her front paws all wrapped up (apparently they leave the rear claws) and whacked out of her skull. She spent a couple days getting back to more or less normal, then hopped out of a second floor window to bask in the sun on the roof.

Slip… sliiiiiide… Murph began going downslope, stuck her front paws out, flexed, and… nothing. At that point her eyes got huge and she continued sliding down the roof, frantically flexing the paws, c’mon, c’mon, dig in, damn it, oh shit oh shit OHSHITOHSITOHSHIT!!!!

She thumped into the rain gutter, stood up with tremendous dignity, and walked along the roof edge to a second floor deck she could step onto. I was almost peeing myself with laughter because until she landed in the gutter she looked just like Wile E. Coyote at the moment of realization that Acme had screwed him over once again.

Comment from LemurKing
Time: July 10, 2008, 7:42 pm

Sorry Muslihoon. It’s real easy to mouth off until you realize you dissed someone you like and then you go “Uh, dat prolly wuzn’t very nice, wuz it?”

Let’s just say my two german shepherds spoiled me for life on the BIG dogs (125lbs).

Next week is the week to “retire” our kitty, Silver d’Cat. (sigh) Maybe after a while a dog will sound good to Cruel Wife and we can try the other half of the domestic duo.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 10, 2008, 7:58 pm

Badgers don’t like dogs. Dogs don’t like badgers.

Badgers are (of course) far fiercer, vastly more noble and handsome and, pound for pound, considerably more deadly.

Felix Sylvestris ( http://www.abdn.ac.uk/mammal/wildcat.shtml ) is even worse, of course, (even we stay out their way!)

That said, Uncle B once knew a shih tzu that he very much liked.

They are fine and proud beasts, despite their diminutive size.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 10, 2008, 8:03 pm

I am a foolish badger. The following is a far better link.

Click at your McPeril…


Comment from Jessica
Time: July 10, 2008, 9:12 pm

Feel better, Charlotte!

“morhpine itchies” gave me a flashback. When I had my unexpected surgery two years ago, they gave me morphine in the ER – big mistake. I warned them that I had never had anything stronger than 800mg Motrin, but they figured, “What the hell.” I immediately had the mother of all panic attacks, became violently nauseous, and started to slap my own rapidly swelling lips like a crazed junkie. I got a nice red bracelet after that that said “NO OPIATES or NARCOTICS” Yeah, that makes surgery loads of fun….

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: July 10, 2008, 9:46 pm

No offense taken, LK. I like the ribbing.

Our shih tzu is adorable and craves attention and love. But if we ignore him, and he can’t get our attention, he ignores us.

It’s so funny. If he does something and someone gets upset at him, our dog remains upset with that person until he (it’s usually my father who gets upset) makes up with the dog. So funny. Initially, he looks ashamed and sorry. But if that doesn’t work, he ignores the person.

Comment from LemurKing
Time: July 11, 2008, 2:49 am

Oh geez, Muslihoon. You mean to tell me that your dog requires kiss and make up sessions? How about sharing of feelings and “lets talk about our relationship”? Brrrrr. That there is a dog who is too smart by half.

Comment from cranky
Time: July 11, 2008, 8:34 am

Charlotte, my three dogs and I hope you are feeling better. Enjoy the meds while they last.

Comment from Lokki
Time: July 11, 2008, 12:04 pm

I really really love dogs and prefer them to cats, but they require (and deserve!) more attention than I can give until I retire. Then I’m going to have a fine little dog that goes with me everywhere, and whom I shall spoil shamelessly in return for performing stupid but amusing tricks.

My plan is to live a few miles from a fine pub. Each morning my dog and I shall walk slowly and casually to the pub for lunch and a pint. Then, after reading the papers and having a second pint for my health, my doggie and I shall walk the two miles home to arrive just in time for !Naptime! either in the hammock or in the big chair close to the fireplace.

But, in the meantime, it’s cats for me. I do like cats, because they’re honest (except when they want something).

“Your cat knows exactly how you feel. He doesn’t care, but he knows”

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 11, 2008, 12:11 pm

I grew up in a family of dog people. Both sides, going back for generations. Both my grandmothers were positively cat-phobic. How I turned out to be a cat person, I have no idea.

I don’t object to dogs, and sometimes think I wouldn’t mind having one. But cats just knock me out. Mine, other people’s…I’d rather watch cats than television.

Can’t abide human infants, though. What’n hell is wrong with me? I suspect God made animal people to keep certain unfortunate genes from perpetuating themselves.

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: July 11, 2008, 12:31 pm

However, this has to be going way beyond the limit.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: July 11, 2008, 12:52 pm

PROGRESS!!!!! I was actually able to let Schroedinger out unsupervised with teh dogs last evening, and only had to tell my lab-shepard to get off him twice (she kept trying to pin him down when he ran around too fast). πŸ™‚

I don’t know for sure, but I think she believes that he is her puppy. Schroedinger, however, is less than thrilled with the wet, slobbery baths….. LOL

Comment from porknbean
Time: July 11, 2008, 1:17 pm

But human infants do not stay infants for long. They are sooo much better when they are your own.

If I am holding someone else’s kid, I am so happy to give it back. But my own, I rarely let anyone near. If strangers tried to love on my babies, they came close to pulling back a nub.

And I am very much an animal person. Speaking of which, look at what I found in my garden yesterday. He could fit in the palm of my hand.
(remove space after http:)

http: //farm4.static.flickr.com/3195/2658314263_0942924dc0_o.jpg

Comment from Princess Bernie
Time: July 11, 2008, 1:22 pm

PnB, that’s cuteness exponentially so. Hope you planted enough veggies so as to share with him/her.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: July 11, 2008, 1:30 pm

P&B. Yup saw one of them here at work yesterday, watching me go inside from next to the bushes. This is a banner year for deer and rabbits, it seems…..

Stoatie luv, how is ms. charlotte today?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 11, 2008, 1:31 pm

Yes, PnB, I’ve always suspected it would be different if I had one of my own — me being a megalomaniac an’ all. But it would still be a lot of work and I’m awfully lazy.

Bunbun! We may have hedgehogs in the garden at Badger House. If that ain’t squee-worthy, I don’t know what is.

Comment from LemurKing
Time: July 11, 2008, 2:07 pm

Well I like the “Groomer Has It” idea much better than this new show “Hurl”.

pnb, that is a cute runnybabbit!

Well, I did the deed. The vet is scheduled to make a house call next Thursday and Silver d’Cat will be put to sleep. I feel better knowing that at least he won’t have to be scared sh*tless by going into a vet’s office. I can tell Cruel Wife is dreading this – she’s never had to do this to a pet before, whereas growing up on a farm it was a fact of (our) life. Thirteen years though, he’s been a wonderfully sweet-natured kitty. (sigh)

Comment from LemurKing
Time: July 11, 2008, 2:08 pm

Yes, Weas, they are a LOT of work and I have suddenly gone grey in my goatee rapidly enough to be spooky, but gosh is it nice to come home and get kidlet-hugs.

I still detest diapers though. Gag. I keep thinking that my kids eat roadkill or something when I’m not looking.

Comment from Jessica
Time: July 11, 2008, 4:32 pm


Comment from porknbean
Time: July 11, 2008, 5:04 pm

Princess B. – oh yes! The buns have found my green and banana pepper plants….knawed one down to the ground.
And the hawks and owls keep their population down.

LemurKing – Many condolescences to your family for the coming week. A tough decision but I’m glad he will be in a familiar place with those who love him. Can you plant him in your yard under a nice shade tree, or will you have to get him cremated?
Perhaps a favorite flower to the cruel wife afterwards?

Comment from porknbean
Time: July 11, 2008, 5:10 pm

Hedgehogs? Badger House, weasels, runnybabbits, and hedgehogs….hmmm…I see a whole host of ways Ms. Weasel the arteest can execute her talents.
Perhaps a set of children’s storybooks…like Jill Barklem (of Brambley Hedge) or Beatrix Potter. You definitely have the skill, talent, and most important, a sense of humor. Kids like humor and silliness.

Comment from LemurKing
Time: July 11, 2008, 10:00 pm

pnb – I have plans to gently bring up a patch of sod that has his favorite catnip clump and let him be there.

I think flowers, a card, and as many hugs as needed will help Cruel Wife a lot. When I met her the second time around, she had only had Silver d’Cat for a month and as a young kitty he would sleep on my chest whenever I napped on her couch. He’s been a darned wonderful kind-natured little beast, so I’m hoping that he isn’t distressed more than is necessary.

When he’s gone I will do a post with some pics of the little guy.

Bunnies can eat pepper plants??? I thought peppers were in the Nightshade family? Are they impervious?

Write a comment

(as if I cared)

(yeah. I'm going to write)

(oooo! you have a website?)

Beware: more than one link in a comment is apt to earn you a trip to the spam filter, where you will remain -- cold, frightened and alone -- until I remember to clean the trap. But, hey, without Akismet, we'd be up to our asses in...well, ass porn, mostly.

<< carry me back to ol' virginny