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Hillary 2016, take two

Right. Here she is in color. For better or worse, I ditched the witch theme and went with a more straight-ahead glamor shot (stop sniggering in the back there). I wasn’t sure I could pull off all that lightning and shit in color. Color gives me hives.

Also, Hillary 2016. If I keep saying that, I might float a leeetle bit higher in the Google search results.

I haven’t put this on any merchandise or anything. I figured I’d get some feedback first. If you want this one (or the black and white witchy one) to print out yourself, drop me a line and I’ll email it to you nice and big. Hillary 2016.

Oh, wallpaper! I could make you a wallpaper, if you want to annoy co-workers. Give me your screen dimensions and preferred background color and I’ll make it happen. Hillary 2016.

And if any of youse just followed a link here and don’t know me, I’m a woman of fifty-something. The way the identity politics shuffle goes, that means I’m allowed to make fun of other wrinkly old broads. Though I’ll feel pretty shitty if she drops dead of an aneurysm or something. Hillary 2016.

Or I won’t. No, thinking about it, I won’t. This is a woman who has spent her whole life thinking the world would be a better place if she stuck her nose in every little aspect of my life. To hell with that. Hillary 2016.

Good weekend, everybody! Hillary 2016!

Update: okay, let’s see, so far I got buttons, stickers, greeting cards, coffee mugs, t-shirts and playing cards (oh, that last one was just too silly to pass up). What I really want are postcards and posters, but Zazzle is being a little bitch about page orientation, so I’ll figure that out over the weekend. Don’t buy anything for my sake (I only get a pittance in royalties) — buy something to make your sister-in-law weep bitter tears.

Update: okay, posters (cheap as I could, but they’re still kind of pricey) and postcards (yeah, they’re displayed sideways. Stupid Zazzle). The postcards are cheap, at least, and can be sent anonymously.


Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: March 14, 2014, 6:17 pm

Why do you hate us so?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 14, 2014, 6:20 pm

Punchline to my father’s favorite joke: and then a voice boomed out of the sky and said, “I dunno. Something about you just pisses me off.”

Comment from Pupster
Time: March 14, 2014, 7:04 pm


The forehead zits are a nice touch.

Comment from surly ermine
Time: March 14, 2014, 7:11 pm

Holy Hell, that’s one creepy ol’ bag. Great illustration work Weas, as always.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: March 14, 2014, 7:16 pm

If she actually wore those earrings I’d vote for her.

Comment from Deborah
Time: March 14, 2014, 7:42 pm

… “I’m not very good with color. I had a color teacher in art school, and she said to me, “Weasel, you’re not very good with color.””

Lissen—you need to draw that art school teacher as an old hag and colorize the shit out of her. Then burn the drawing. Art school was a long time ago—what 30 years? Light years. We all carry around some baggage, but you can set that one down and walk away.

You are a superb artist, and your color work is excellent. More than that, you are insanely creative, and well, a little crazy, too. I can only speak for myself, but that’s why I come here. And for the drawings of chickens, cats, lambs, and bitches.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 14, 2014, 7:59 pm

D’awww, you guyz! When I said feedback, I wasn’t fishing for compliments. I thought I might’ve…I dunno. Missed something obvious.

Comment from East Asia
Time: March 14, 2014, 9:00 pm

Man, do i need to tell Weas how good an artist she is??
This pic has already made one of my friends hurl. Innit that the standard for art?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 14, 2014, 9:44 pm

Yes, upchucking is the sincerest form of flattery.

Comment from tomfrompv
Time: March 14, 2014, 10:06 pm

Her one good eye follows you if you tilt the iPad. Just like great art in the Louver.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: March 14, 2014, 10:20 pm

A poster (b&w, natürlich) with a big ol’ red “#banbossy” across the bottom to mount onto sticks & take to rallies.

Comment from Mojo
Time: March 14, 2014, 10:28 pm

“If only you stupid people would LISTEN TO ME!”

Yeah, she’s annoying. When my local congress critter kicked the bucket a few years back, they stuck his wife in, because, we’ll, I dunno.

Same deal here. Only Bubba ain’t dead, just neck deep in hookers.

Comment from Nina
Time: March 14, 2014, 10:29 pm

I like the way you think, Stoaty. If anyone can mock old broads it should be other semi-old broads.

I’d have to disagree with your old art teacher, too. Gives me the creepies. Tell the truth: you used a recent photo of White Hood Byrd as your model to get the elderly look just right, didn’t you?

Heck yeah, I know he’s dead!

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: March 14, 2014, 11:12 pm

Sweez, you will make available campaign posters right? I have needz.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 14, 2014, 11:22 pm

I’m trying, Mr. Dave. I’ve been fussing with Zazzle for an hour. It wants to make posters landscape, won’t let me make a vertical. I could design it sideways, but it would look stupid in the marketplace.

I’ve got a question about it on their forum, but nobody’s answered me yet.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: March 15, 2014, 12:26 am

Wow, that’s just scary.

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: March 15, 2014, 1:45 am

Awesome, just totally awesome 🙂

I ordered my 15oz coffee mug to go with my Zombie Reagan…keep ’em coming, want to make a nice set 🙂

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: March 15, 2014, 4:31 am

Also, as you admit to being fifty-something: you ain’t old. C’mon, you just ain’t that old.

Comment from Mojo
Time: March 15, 2014, 3:46 pm


Uh, Weas? Your items appear to be editable. I was just asked if I’d like to upload another image.

This could be a problem.

Comment from Mojo
Time: March 15, 2014, 3:47 pm

Wait a minute… Where did I leave that “Hillary images, obscene” folder?…

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 15, 2014, 4:08 pm

Nah, I leave them editable on purpose. Don’t care if somebody wants to add pictures or text, and making it editable means you can change what kind of t-shirt or coffee mug you want.

I wish I could upload an image and people could put it on whatever they like, but that they don’t allow.

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: March 15, 2014, 5:13 pm

Zazzle is pretty fast: “Your Package Has Been Queued for Shipment”

…just ordered it late last night. I wonder what the employees there think of my Hillary Clinton ’16 mug?

The #BanBossy hashtag mentioned above would be a nice touch.

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: March 15, 2014, 7:01 pm

This one will cause plenty of aneurisms, so it’s good. 🙂

My own personal preference is the previous version, which had a wonderful Evil Dead/”I’ll swallow your soul!” look and feel to it.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 15, 2014, 7:43 pm

I preferred that one too, I just didn’t think I could pull it off in color, Argentium. All the lightning and cobwebs were photo-composited. When I switch to color, I actually have to paint over everything.

I thank you, Quasi. I hope you don’t get lynched for it.

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: March 15, 2014, 8:57 pm

No worries about lynching, S.Weasel…I’m in Canada…even the lefties don’t much like Hillary.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: March 15, 2014, 9:51 pm

From “Pretty In Pink” to “Basic Bad-Ass Bitchy In Black” – good job, you’ve managed quite expertly to catch the “essential (lack of) ambiance” that is at the very core of her twisted, crusty, blackened, shrivelled lack-of-true-personality…

I’d suggest you do an encore from her opposite, left-hand aspect*, in hopes of capturing** her “better side” – except, of course, Das HillaryBeest, in truth, has no “better side” – plus, one must only tempt The Fates by such a portrayal of Reality as this infrequently, lest we receive increased demonic visitations, day and/or night…I did quite like your previous take on The Wicked Witch From Arkansas And Points Elsewhere, but this – this has the Curse Of The Undead written all over it.

It’s my considered opinion, dear Sweasey, that you’ve quite outdone yourself here – this definitely outstrips even Zombie Reagan (a true graphical classic in every sense) in its intensive embodiment of horrid Reality; you have produced an Academy Awards Of Gritty, Nasty Truth nominee.

Verily and forsooth, I say, this is indeed a portrait to be reckoned with – perhaps with a flaming torch in one hand, and a sharpened pitchfork in the other. Causes one to consider keeping a few wooden stakes and a large mallet ready to hand…

Even though I don’t even drink coffee, I may well order a mug – with this mug on it, it’s quite likely to be “self-heating”, keeping my cocoa hot to the last drop (if the cocoa doesn’t try to leap out and crawl away, that is!)…

Yes, indeed, (anti-)campaign posters of this will be needed. Put at the bottom: “Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Vote Again”, or some such…

(*sort of defines the real reason why the left-hand-anything is referred to as the “sinister” aspect, does it not?…)

(**by all means necessary, capture it before it slithers away and escapes, possibly to spawn further – as if that sorry specimen called “Chelsea” isn’t itself enough of an offense against the public sensibilities…)

Comment from Janna
Time: March 15, 2014, 11:25 pm

How long does it take to draw something like this? And were you skeeved out creating such a thing? Shame we can’t have this on post-it notes, I’d leave them everywhere!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 16, 2014, 12:05 am

Hm. Lemme think.

It would be much longer if I started from scratch, but pretty much all the illustrations on this blog are photocomposites and paintovers. So I find four or five photos, jam them together, adjust bits until I like the composition, then the bulk of my time is spent massaging them and making them look like one image. I’d say the black and white one took 4 hours.

For the color one, I started by colorizing the first one, but that’s really just an underlayer. To make it look right, I had to go over every inch of it with fresh “paint.” So, another six hours maybe. This is the base image, if you’re interested.

I was too wrapped up in what I was doing to be skeeved out by the illo, but the worst part was, I called up a whole page of Google images of hundred year old women to stare at their skin. Old age is a pig.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 16, 2014, 12:08 am

There’s this horrible, mean thing that happens to old ladies, where their lipstick crawls up the wrinkles in their lips by osmosis. I was at pains to reproduce that.

Comment from Janna
Time: March 16, 2014, 2:01 am

I used to be a technical illustrator. (Back in the olden days) Never got to do fun stuff.
I appreciate and recognize the talent and time involved.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: March 16, 2014, 2:22 am

I was too wrapped up in what I was doing to be skeeved out by the illo, but the worst part was, I called up a whole page of Google images of hundred year old women to stare at their skin.

I hadn’t “clicked” on the colour version yet, & now I shan’t be doing that ever.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 16, 2014, 1:42 pm

I used to be a technical illustrator, too. Probably the only drawings I’ve ever done that will live forever are diagrams for patent applications.


Comment from Deborah
Time: March 16, 2014, 3:48 pm

Let me be an advocate for the deceptively simple postcard. I have been a postcard correspondent for decades. I used to write letters to my legislators, but I would get bogged down in the the details of form and etiquette (pre-home-computer days). One day in a fine simmering rage, I used a large postcard with a B-25 on the front to send to my Senator, who’d flown B-24s during the war, but had trained in B-25s.

It got a response, pronto. Then I realized that a whole lot of people could read my letter to the Senator if I used a postcard. Using a postcard forces you right to the point, and eliminates the need for the more formal language a long missive requires. It also means postcard gets to the intended quickly, because it doesn’t have to pass through the screening process required for sealed letters.

Years ago, a state legislator told me that the rule of correspondence was that one letter from a constituent equaled one thousand unsent letters. So if twenty people wrote to complain, then twenty thousand were mad about the same thing.

One of my favorite postcards is a photograph of a small herd of donkeys standing under a tin shade stand. I’ve sent it to a lot of Democrats. I print in precise block letters and sign my name big.

Oh, but the Hillary postcard—don’t you know it will get a lot of attention!

Comment from steve
Time: March 16, 2014, 6:44 pm

Though I’ll feel pretty shitty if she drops dead of an aneurysm or something.

It is with this in mind that I have never picked her in the Death Pool…..

Well, that and I think we would both feel real uncomfortable should the Secret Service drop by for a little chat…..

Comment from ron n.
Time: March 16, 2014, 8:11 pm

The picture of the next MESSIAH, the leftists intend to foist upon us. Let her SAVE US from the EVIL whites, Christians, straights, morals, and patriots=forefathers.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: March 16, 2014, 9:20 pm

Thank you, Deborah, for the postcard tip. That could prove very useful…

Comment from AC
Time: March 17, 2014, 12:03 am

This image would make for the perfect Old Maid cards. Anyone would have a hard time not jumping back when they drew her.
Brilliant work!

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: March 17, 2014, 2:39 am

Lipstick travels through the cracks by osmosis…ZOMG, LOL!


Comment from Jeunesse global indonesia
Time: March 17, 2014, 6:16 am

yes the world will be better as the woman want. It can be true if everyone do what the woman want.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: March 17, 2014, 3:37 pm

Postcards make good greeting cards for presents, and they’re about a quarter the price, if that.

Comment from Hutch
Time: March 17, 2014, 3:53 pm

The Curse of the Hillary.
I ordered a mug and it was delivered to Brooklyn, NY.
I live in San Diego, though.

Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: March 17, 2014, 4:36 pm

I’d suggest titling it “There’s Life in the Old Bat Yet,” except that would be an insult to bats.

Wonderful gives-us-all-the-shivers work, Stoaty!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 17, 2014, 11:28 pm

Holy shit, really Hutch? Zazzle’s customer service is supposed to be really good, but I’m sorry that happened to you.

Let me know if they don’t straighten it out for you chop- chop.

Comment from lauraw
Time: March 18, 2014, 1:26 am

Hillary 2016! Love what you’ve been doing with her eyebrows.

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Time: September 9, 2014, 11:36 am

who she is? very scary face. if my son saw it he will scream and ran to her room.

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