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I…have no idea

Well, now. I wasn’t expecting our…ummm…mystery gourd-like vegetable to grow to quite THAT size. Things are ‘UGE. I have told you this, yes? We had three — count ’em, THREE — vines grow up in our raised beds that we most assuredly didn’t plant and locals tell me the things hanging off of them are marrows. Never et one in my life, so how they got in our compost is a puzzler.

Uncle B informs me the village produce contests, they grow ’em to the size of small children and wheel them in in wheelbarrows. These aren’t quite that big, but they would be if I left them.

Marrow, Wikipedia informs me, is the British word for members of the Cucurbita family. Gourds, pumpkins and squash. These look more like morbidly obese zucchinis, but I’m told zucchinis are called courgettes.

Fuck, it’s hard being a ferriner.

Everyone agrees on the recipe, though. Cut them in half, scoop out the middles and fill them with good stuff.

From our garden: herbs, garlic, onions, this year’s new crop of tomatoes. First the skillet, then scoop into the marrow. Bake for twenty minutes, then: American-style bacon, hamburger. Bread crumbs, cheese. Ten more minutes.

Was it nice? Pff! How bad could anything be stuffed with bacon, hamburger and cheese?


Comment from QuasiModo
Time: July 8, 2014, 10:33 pm

ZOMG!…somebody planted Pod People in your garden =:O

…has Uncle B. been acting strangely lately? :+)

Comment from Nina
Time: July 8, 2014, 10:47 pm

Hey…it’s food.

Comment from Mojo
Time: July 8, 2014, 11:05 pm

Any, yannow… Bones?

Comment from iamfelix
Time: July 8, 2014, 11:23 pm

As the page was loading (on my crappy phone), first glance at the pic, I thought it might be four & twenty blackbirds baked in a pie. Sounds pretty good, actually.


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 8, 2014, 11:34 pm

Uncle B always acts strangely 😉

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 8, 2014, 11:41 pm

Her Stoatliness hasn’t mentioned that I have a new ice cream maker,….

Oh, the fun! I was tempted by the freezer-onboard models but they’re about $400 over here. They also don’t like to be moved – which means you need a US-sized kitchen.

So it was a replacement for my old bowl-in-the-freezer model (the third I’ve had where the gel eventually rotted through the bowl!).

First-up was a proper egg custard vanilla… just eggs, double cream, Jersey milk, caster sugar and (of course) real vanilla.

Any suggestions from the Land Of Ice Cream, before we peg-out from rapid onset diabetes?

Comment from dissent555
Time: July 9, 2014, 1:23 am

Cool. I’ll be over in twenty minutes. What kind of beer can I bring?

Comment from Frit
Time: July 9, 2014, 2:10 am

Ice Cream maker! Hey Uncle Badger, being a chocoholic, I make my own dark chocolate ice cream.

Pretty much, it’s the same as your egg custard vanilla, only leave out the vanilla and instead add 150g of chocolate chunks – to be melted into the cream & milk before adding to the sugar & egg blend.. (I prefer using 70% dark chocolate, you may like it lighter or darker.)

If one likes coffee, one can also add in one shot of espresso – or 30 mil of strong coffee – to the chocolate mix and have a mocha ice cream.

If one likes cinnamon, one can blend in cinnamon extract in stead of the vanilla, or a handful of cinnamon sticks, in the cream & milk heating phase – removing said sticks before blending in with the egg-n-sugar mixture.

If one is a fruit lover, make your standard egg custard vanilla, then just before putting it into the freezer, fold in your favorite fresh fruit pieces. (This also works with the chocolate variant – raspberries in dark chocolate ice cream is a good combo.)

Hope that helps! 🙂

Comment from Deborah
Time: July 9, 2014, 3:25 am

Coffee ice cream is my weakness. When I don’t have any coffee ice cream (Blue Bell brand), sometimes I will just pour the last of of the coffee pot over a scoop of vanilla. But I would definitely try making my own coffee ice cream—oh yes.

If you like pistachios, and can buy Jello pistachio pudding in your area (or a similar brand), I have a recipe for pistachio ice cream if you want to give it a try. It’s very good.

Comment from iamfelix
Time: July 9, 2014, 3:54 am

Gooseberry??? We know you have them. 🙂

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: July 9, 2014, 4:10 am

After reading about the ice cream, I think I shall have some raspberry sherbet, which I classify as a type of ice cream.

Comment from mojo
Time: July 9, 2014, 5:00 am

If you add a little cream, it’s called sorbet, and you can charge more for it.

Some Italian told me that.

Comment from Nina
Time: July 9, 2014, 5:45 am

No ice cream, I’ve got surgery in the morning. Maybe tomorrow night I can get some! I’m pretty sure I can get whatever I want post surgery, right?

Comment from Eastasia
Time: July 9, 2014, 8:12 am

Coyote got my dog. I’m in animal urgent care waiting to hear the damages.
Nina hope everything goes well–

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 9, 2014, 9:09 am

Hope it goes well, Nina!

I’d send you some ice cream but… well, you can imagine how long ice cream lasts in this house 😉

Sorry about your dog, Eastasia.

Thanks for the recipe ideas, fellow minions.

Comment from Eastasia
Time: July 9, 2014, 9:38 am

Thx Uncle B.
$2500 so far and she needs a chest cutter. I’m such an idiot for letting her go out in the yard by herself.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 9, 2014, 12:52 pm

Ouch! I don’t know if I’d spend that much on me.

Hope she’s fixed soon.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: July 9, 2014, 1:23 pm

Hurry and get through your surgery Nina! We’re rooting for you! Oh, and yes, you’ll be able to eat all the ice cream you want after surgery and you’ll be able to play the violin too!

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: July 9, 2014, 1:31 pm

After posting my encouragement for Nina,above, Mrs Vegetable archly pointed out that not everyone was in the same class in third grade as I was, and thus might not get my joke about the violin….

So, here it is:

DOCTOR: Don’t worry about breaking your little brother’s arm Billy, he’ll heal up and be just fine. He’ll be better than ever!

BILLY: Will he be able to play his violin?

DOCTOR: Oh yes, of course!

BILLY: That’s funny, he never could before!

Mrs. Vegetable says I have to move away from the computer now.

Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: July 9, 2014, 2:12 pm

Some Vegetable, I recall hearing that in one of George Carlin’s early standup routines, a parody of hospital shows: “Doctor Place!”

For everyone’s enjoyment, here is another of his early comic bits:

(Downtown office building; Monday morning; secretaries hurrying to work. The elevator’s crowded)

Mr. Glands: “Good morning, Miss Burns.”

(Miss Burns thinks:) Oh, that handsome Mr. Glands. Is that all he’s ever going to say? Couldn’t he ask me where I got my army boots, or who I liked in the Clay fight? I think it’s my complexion. I’ll ask my complexion expert, the clerk at the drugstore with acne.

(at the drugstore)
Miss Burns: “Well, so anyways, I think it’s my complexion.”
Clerk (cheerfully): “Well, lookin’ at your face, Miss Burns, I think you just might be right about that! However, you too can now have clear smooth fine skin with our new 7-Day Beauty Plan. In your case it might take 6 months! However, just rub this cream into your face for 7 days, takin’ time out for meals, of course. You too will notice the difference!”

(Seven days later, Miss Burns thinks:) Oh, here comes that handsome Mr. Glands again. I hope he says something besides, “Good morning, Miss Burns”!

Mr. Glands: “Good morning, Miss Burns. I see your face cleared up. . . .”

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: July 9, 2014, 7:45 pm

Comment from Nina @ July 9, 2014, 5:45 am:No ice cream, I’ve got surgery in the morning. Maybe tomorrow night I can get some! I’m pretty sure I can get whatever I want post surgery, right?

“Ice cream… we’re gonna eat ice cream!” – Bill Cosby, “Tonsils”.

Speaking of ice cream, did anyone else see Lucy Li, the 11-year-old golfer who qualified for the U.S. Women’s Open? After her first round (a 78), she was asked what she was going to do next: “Eat some more ice cream!”

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: July 10, 2014, 12:21 pm

Reminds me of the old Texas recipe for carp: take your carp, & stuff it with cow manure, & then plaster it with a nice thick layer of manure & throw it into the campfire. After an hour or so take it out of the fire & peel off the outer layer of manure which should be basically burnt coal black. Cut the carp open, remove the manure inside, throw the carp away, & you’re done.

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