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I dunno…

In other news, Emma Sulkowicz‘s mattress graduated from Columbia today with a B.A. in Anthropology. “Sure, it’s a bullshit degree,” the mattress is quoted as saying, “but was I supposed to do with all these art credits?”

Good weekend, folks!


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 22, 2015, 9:28 pm

To be honest, it’s a lame picture idea…but I can’t help it: them big ol’ lips sticking out of a mattress just crack me up.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: May 22, 2015, 11:19 pm

Lame, shmame. I like it. A lot!

That…person…is very ugly, and I’m not referring to appearance. What she did and continues to do to her now completely exonerated ex-bedmate should, in a justice system worthy of the name, cause her to cough up damages until she’s an old crone.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: May 22, 2015, 11:50 pm

Not that it is really an issue, her being an Art Major n’ all, but if the HR staff in MY firm hired her, they would all be on the street within the hour. She is just a law suit waiting to happen.

And leaving business aside, I sure hopes she becomes a lesbian if she ain’t one, cause who would be stupid enough to marry her?

I mean you don’t even want to think about what’s dragging into divorce court.

Comment from Nina
Time: May 23, 2015, 2:23 am

I majored in anthropology! But probably not the same subdiscipline as she did.

It’s been a hard week. I feel as used as poor little Emma and as disappointed as her mattress. It’s a heck of a way to earn a living, and I think I’ll come work HR for Some Veg’s firm instead.

Comment from Stark Dickflüßiᵹ
Time: May 23, 2015, 3:08 am

Ya’know, she’s reasonably attractive for a girl who lies about rape for attention. Hell, honey, if you’re readin this, I’d be happy to sex you up from a distance of 4 or 5 parsecs & using a decent quality rail gun loaded with medium-sized asteroids. And don’t worry about the spouse finding out, it should take a few hundred years for the event to take place, so I’ll be long dead. & thank goodness for that tiny blessing.

Comment from Ccs
Time: May 23, 2015, 3:40 am

Back in my day being a ‘mattress back’ had some pretty unsavory connotations. What is she really saying about herself here?

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: May 23, 2015, 4:56 am

RE: Fat-Lips Mattressy – definitely a fun thing, highly amusin’…

RE: Alleged-rapee/false accuser standin’ there, lookin’ all grim ‘n such – Eeewww!…gonna be downright (appropriately) crude, here: So solly, Dolly, I wouldn’t hit that with a very long, stout stick, not even one held-and-swung by someone else.

Co-eds clearly ain’t what they used to was, nor what they might easily be if they wished…

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: May 23, 2015, 10:43 am

Carrying the mattress around became her final project.

Or maybe that was her idea all along.

Pity whoever she marries – unless he’s something like ‘Pajama Boy’, then he deserves her.

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: May 23, 2015, 2:00 pm

I hope her education was worth all the student debt.

Comment from RushBabe
Time: May 23, 2015, 2:07 pm

Oh, and lookee here! The GUY who also accused Emma’s alleged attacker of assaulting him is found to be just another agitating fraud:


Comment from JeffS
Time: May 23, 2015, 3:21 pm

Alas, nearly all of what passes for “education” at these high-priced “colleges” is bullshit. As a result, long gone are the days when quips like “A mistress is halfway between a master and a mattress” didn’t cause return fire from enemy forces.

In other (somewhat old) news, Emma’s former mattress partner and current target of hate, Paul Nungesser, has filed a law suit against Columbia University for damages, and the complaint is interesting reading indeed. Pr0n, yes, but perhaps educational pr0n.

Educational to other college students, and potential college students. One may hope.

Comment from Grabthar’s Hammer
Time: May 23, 2015, 5:09 pm

I’m not a boob guy, but I can totally see why she made a point of taking it in the squeaker.

Comment from .
Time: May 23, 2015, 7:15 pm

A daughter of a pair of psychiatrists is bound to have issues.

>>“but was I supposed to do with all these art credits?”

G-d forbid something useful, such as designing a Tennessee logo?? On MS Paint probably.


Comment from dissent555
Time: May 23, 2015, 11:20 pm

I think Emma should be the next Bachelorette.

Would bring a whole new dynamic to that show.

Comment from Stark Dickflüßiᵹ
Time: May 24, 2015, 12:17 am

Emma should be our next president!

She even has a pdf of a birth certificate that says she was born in Kawaii in 1980.

Comment from As If I Cared (Now With Caps!)
Time: May 25, 2015, 1:04 am

Looks like the mattress is a devotee of the Kylie Jenner Lip Challenge


Plans for a Kylie Jenner Mental Challenge are not in the works…

Comment from David Gillies
Time: May 25, 2015, 3:54 pm

Once a person or organisation has become the target of a lawsuit, it becomes necessary to cease acting in a way that would lend credence to the plaintiff’s suit. By allowing Sulky Emma to parade her mattress at graduation, contra to standing instructions, they’ve done a good deal to advance Nungesser’s claim. At the very least, they’ve facilitated Sulkowicz’s tortious persecution of Nungesser (whether it’s defamation or, more narrowly, False Light). I hope he abstracts a nice seven or eight figure sum from Columbia’s endowment and bankrupts Sulky.

Comment from mojo
Time: May 25, 2015, 5:44 pm

Memorial Day Viewing List (Spam filter bound)

Tora! Tora! Tora!

They Were Expendable


Go For Broke!

The Enemy Below

Comment from PatAZ
Time: May 27, 2015, 1:10 am

Did her “man hands” make it easier to carry the mattress? I hope Mr. N. takes them all to the cleaners.

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