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We hung Grandma tonight


Relax. Pictures are hung, people are hanged.

Great great great grandma, actually. I got her name; I’m told there’s a resemblance (honestly, if we want to wear crochet’ed earflaps in the house, I don’t see what business it is of anyone else’s). She buried three husbands and owned a bunch of property, including slaves (we saved the receipt). Lived most of her life in Louisiana, but came back to Tennessee to die. Or they shipped her body back, anyway.

I stumbled over her grave in Nashville’s old city cemetery once quite unexpectedly; I had assumed she was in Monroe. That must have been quite a trip for a stiff in 1850. There was a high pointy iron fence around her grave, and no caretaker in sight. I badly wanted to scale the fence and read more of the inscription on the stone, but I feared that would end badly.

Anyhow, Granny has been propped up against the wall of the dining room ever since my stuff got here. Uncle B and I salute her politely whenever we pass through the room. We’ve gotten so used to her company, we kind of wanted to keep her in that room. Tonight, Uncle B noticed some damn fool had screwed a heavy screw into the beam above the booze pile by the door, so that’s where Granny lives for now.

Keeper of the Hootch. I don’t know if Granny Weasel was a drinker, but (knowing what I know about the rest of the fambly) the odds are very much in favor of it.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 5, 2009, 7:45 pm

I posted about her grandmother here.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: February 5, 2009, 8:49 pm

I swear I keep hearing this spectral weasel voice screeching ‘Hey! You! Pour me one, too, damnit!’ every time I wander in there.

Comment from Machinist
Time: February 5, 2009, 9:10 pm

“Pictures are hung, people are hanged.”

Speak for yourself! I like to think I’m hung.

Comment from BrendaK
Time: February 5, 2009, 10:43 pm


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 5, 2009, 10:53 pm


Comment from BrendaK
Time: February 5, 2009, 11:27 pm

Err, um, sorry ’bout that. No excuse, really, it was just silly.

Comment from Machinist
Time: February 6, 2009, 12:29 am

Hi, Brenda. 😳

Comment from Mrs. Hill
Time: February 6, 2009, 11:22 am

“owned a bunch of property, including slaves (we saved the receipt)”

Heh. Mr. Hill takes great glee in teasing and tormenting me about my family’s having owned slaves. A couple of them did have rather odd names — which he’s now bestowed on a couple of our household appliances. No mercy.

Comment from Gnus
Time: February 6, 2009, 1:01 pm

Looks like you’re getting into the spirit of the moment with the grannie business…

Comment from Nicholas the Slide
Time: February 6, 2009, 1:02 pm

Woot for Granny. Sadly I have no pictures of my long-lost relatives. I think all the other aunts and uncles got all that fancy stuff – both my parents are second children. 😛

BTW, slightly OT… it’s the Zombie’s birthday, have a party. 🙂

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 6, 2009, 2:43 pm

I really do have the receipt, Mrs Hill. I’d show you guys, but it’s incredibly delicate and falling to bits. I need a document restorer to have a look at it before I unfold it again.

Slaves were very, very expensive!

Comment from Allen
Time: February 6, 2009, 3:08 pm

Fambly stories… My favorite one was when grandpa was a boy and they scalped Cousin Tuomi. They scalped Tuomi! has such a delicious South Park ring to it.

Anyhoo, they sent ole Tuomi into the culvert to flush out the muskrats inside. As the muskrats exited the other end they were appropriately bashed. Unfortunately as Tuomi exited, his head was mistaken for a muskrat. Funny hairdo he had.

Comment from mesablue
Time: February 6, 2009, 3:39 pm

Crazy stoat — http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7875271.stm

Comment from Nicholas the Slide
Time: February 6, 2009, 3:56 pm

I got Cabin Feeeeevah – it’s burning in my brain;
I’ve got Cabin Feeeeevah – it’s driving me insane!!
We got Cabin Feeeeevah – we’re flipping our bandanas:
Been stuck in snow so long we have simply gone bananas!!

We got Cabin Feeeeevah, We’ve lost what sense we had!
We got Cabin Feeeeevah, And we’re all going mad!!
We got Cabin Feeeeevah, No if’s, and’s, or but’s!
We’re disoriented and demented and a little Nuts!!
I’ve got Cabin Feeeeevah, I think I’ve lost my grip –
I’d like to get my hands on whoever wrote this script!!

Cabin Feeeeevah has ravaged all aboard:
This once proud vessel has become a floating psycho ward!
We were sailing, sailing headed who knows where;
And now though we’re all here, we’re not all there!!

Comment from imp
Time: February 6, 2009, 8:15 pm

Buried 3 husbands and drank alot? LOL! Maybe she just ‘boinked’ ’em to death while she was snockered. Sounds like a smart woman to me! 😉

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 6, 2009, 8:27 pm

Ha! Uncle B was shoving that picture under my nose first thing this morning, Dawn.

Comment from Mrs. Hill
Time: February 6, 2009, 10:04 pm

“I really do have the receipt,”

I never doubted! Must be fun to have so much family history in hand, not just mouldering away in an archive somewhere.

We had a scalping, too — a Great Aunt! (‘cept ours was scalped by injuns in the *Great Massacre of Schenectady* — they still include that in the elementary school textbooks, don’t they? :P)

Comment from Mikey NTH
Time: February 8, 2009, 2:58 pm

It’s a good thing there was a previous hook available, right? Because you got to get special permission to put a nail in the wall in order to hang a picture. And I can’t imagine that the argument “The house is over X hundred years old – there isn’t much in it that is original from the day it was built.” is going to get any traction.

Or am I wrong about that?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 8, 2009, 6:07 pm

Right-ish. There are things we can’t mess with and things we can. I wouldn’t put a hook in the beam, though lots of people obviously have over the years — including recently. I was going to agree we wouldn’t be allowed to, but then I remembered that they run wiring on the outside of the beams, which involves nailing ugly little plastic wire holders in every few inches, so I’m not sure.

Anyhow, we can nail stuff into the plaster between, no problem.

Comment from Nortius Maximus
Time: February 9, 2009, 7:31 pm

I guess I’m the first here to connect the title of the post with the lines from “Blazing Saddles” :

[Charlie, astonished to see Bart alive:]
“They said you was hung!”
[Bart, adjusting his belt significantly:]
“And they was RIGHT.”

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