sweasel.com

That lion post-it reminds me of the Riddle of the Sphinx:

What drives a VW by morning, eats corporate turkey by noonday sun, and is locked out of its computer account by evening?

Answer: Go fish.

I may have miss-translated some of the Riddle.

In the ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic system, certain characters were used to represent sounds. The image a lion represented the “r” and “l” sound.

Are you familiar with ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic writing?

The same character for “r” and “l” = the ancient Egyptians came from East Asia.

A fountain pen! *swoon*

“I feel like I’ve gone to the Crazy Place.”

Yep….

This is a first for me. I’m not convinced I understood a single one of the above comments. I might understand the second, but its context completely escapes me.

Neat. I feel I have … arrived.

Understanding isn’t everything it’s reputed to be.

Good thing for me.

I take comfort in your words – as always – Gnus.

I have just filled an entire box with gridded graph paper pads of various kinds. I have a terrible weakness for them. And for notebooks. Three-ring binders.

You know the cruel thing? Britain’s notebooks and binders are a different size and the holes are in different places.

But never fear! Weasel triumphant! I have two heavy duty adjustable paper punches. Yes I have.

I’m afraid I’m not that edumacated, Musli. I’m not terribly good with languages. “R!” was just the sound I thought he’d make.

Oh! And fountain pens! I have a terrible weakness for ’em. I file off the little ball on the end so they’re sharp like quills.

Sometimes that works wonderfully well, sometimes not. So I’ve learned to buy cheap pens (I tend to lose them after a while, anyway). Used to be, you could get a fountain pen in the drugstore for a buck, with three refills. Now, you can’t find anything but terribly nice ones in fancy stationers’ stores.

So, hurrah for England on that! You can still find cheap pens for a pound in Tesco.

Gridded graph paper!!!!!

There are few things finer in this cold cruel world than gridded graph paper. Having a nice beefy tablet of grid paper is like having a stack of crispy $100’s in your wallet. Grid paper is empowerment – pure and simple.

I liked the Engineering stuff. You know, the stuff with the grid on the back side, but you can faintly see it from the front so you could use it for guidelines when drawing but the grid doesn’t xerox from that side unless you had the toner set to “dark”.

You can tell from the fineness of your ink strokes that there is no ball on the thing.

Actually, you can tell by looking at the friggin’ photo that there is no ball on the thing. Duh.

You can’t chuck a rock from anywhere in the British Isles without it going through one of the sheet-glass windows of a Tesco. WalMart tried to buy it, but they had to settle for ASDA instead.
I’ve never heard of a Karmann (until I just looked it up), but here (and I assume in the rest of Europe), Ghias are the – or used to be at least – the top line – or near it – in Ford models. Ford Granada Ghia, Ford Capri Ghia, Ford Cortina Ghia and so on. My dad used to have a Golden Granada Ghia – it was the dog’s bollocks.
Fountain pens. Nothing much to say about that apart from that we used to use them exclusively at my secondary school and they used to have little ink cartridges that had a tiny plastic ball that had to be punctured to use in the pen, and we used to cut them out and they used to bounce fucking high. And by ‘we’, I do of course mean ‘I’.

Wasn’t the Carman Ghia (yes – spelling is probably effed up. So sue me) the car Porsche designed and VW built, or vice-versa? Back in the 60’s or 70’s? Rear engine? Sounded like a VW with some yarbles?

Or was that a dream?

Fountain pens. All I know is two things: 1)If it has a li’l white mountain symbol on it, its expensive. 2) Never fuck with a fountain pen aficionado’s fountain pens. They weel keel you.

Christ, I feel old!

At risk of sounding like one of Python’s Four Yorkshiremen, I used to dreeeeeam of a fountain pen.

I’m so unfeasibly ancient that, in the early years at my secondary school, we were expected to use what I believe rude mechanicals refer to as a ‘dip pen’… fountain pens were what we aspired to.

Made me the badger I am today, of course.

Living down a hole, eating worms.

Weren’t those “dip pens” about one step up from … um… quills? Like what the King signed the magnum cartilage with?

My father in law gave me a couple of Colin Dexter’s Inspector Morse Novels, and I’m having a bit of trouble with some of the..er..englishness. (For example, he describes what I assume to be an efficiency apartment as a “bed-sitter-cum-bathroom”.)

Anyway, I got a giggle out of this passage thinking about Badger Manor and Beamy McSkullcracker:

“A notice above the entrance advises all patrons (although Morse is not a particularly tall man) to mind their heads (DUCK OR GROUSE)…”

Not to get in on the gridded graph paper late – but it is by far the satisfyingly useful paper product ever invented (take that toilet paper). It is like combining the frivolity of an Education major with the morality of an Amish grandpa. Yep, just like that.

I find that I am reluctant to use it because the value is just too high. Like spending a wheat penny or a half-dollar (those things are rare – we Americans don’t like the coinage).

Stoaty: (I love them, too)

http://www.pilotpen-store.com/product_list.asp?SKW=PILVARS&HDR=Varsity

I think they’re cheaper @Amazon, too. My mom and I both had/have a notebook-pad-writing instrument fetish. She loved shopping for school supplies (good thing, as there’s 28 years between me and youngest – adopted – sister, so she did it for a looooong time).

Brandon-

“..Like spending a wheat penny or a half-dollar…”

Truer words were never uttered.

I have caught myself actually begrudging each precious sheet of grid paper used.

Yah, but see…that’s just it. I bet I have *thirty* hardly used pads of gridded graph paper down there. And it occurred to me while I was packing it up I hardly ever use the stuff. Well, no matter. It’s all coming with me.

Meanwhile, consensus on spelling seems to be Karman Ghia. That body style looks like mine — a 1967 (via Manny’s Auto Blog, which is in Japanese).

The story goes, my mother was driving her big ol’ Lincoln Continental down main street and she spotted a Karman Ghia convertible the color of the line down the middle of the highway in the front window of a dealership. So she pulled in, grabbed the first salesman she saw and said, “I’ll have that.”

And he said, “yes ma’am…let me show you what we have in…”
And she said, “no, I’ll have THAT CAR. Right there. In the window.”
And he said, “certainly, ma’am…we have several in that…”
And she said, “GIVE ME THAT CAR IN THE WINDOW! Here’s a check.”

Eventually it passed to my brother and thence to me. It was automatic clutch. You still had to shift gears, but not depress a clutch. Downward pressure on the gear shift lever kicked it into neutral. As you might imagine, that was its weakness…when that went, I was up a twisty mountain road with no working gear but reverse.

Designed by Porsche, huh. Yeah, I can see it.

“Designed by Porsche, huh. Yeah, I can see it.”

Looks like it was a dream. Wiki (which is never in error, of course) doesn’t say a thing about Porsche. But the story it tells about Ghia and Karman and VW seems slightly familiar.

I think I have my stories confused somewhere. Not the first time.

You still up, McGoo? Three a.m. seems to be my body’s new wakeup time. We’re like ships that pass in the night.

Or something.

…but Porsche has some whacko automatic/manual tranny called a “tiptronic” – vaguely like the tranny you describe.

I’ve never tried one. They sound evil.

So you still have this Karman Ghia? Do you still drive it?

Yes – I’ve been up and down several times. No sleep tonight, dammit.

If you’re having recent sleeping issues, I sympathize.

I’m going to Denny’s and see who I can mess with.

I know I’m gonna burn in hell for messin’ with folks this early. But if they can’t handle it, they should go back to bed.

Being awake this early is a contact sport.

Oh, gosh, the Ghia is long gone.

Yes, I’m not going to sleep through the night until I get this move finished, which will be a few months anyhow. The moment I wake up enough to remember I have a To Do list, that’s it. Also, I picked up a cold somewhere during my travels.

Good luck messing with people. Before dawn. Geez, that’s cruel. Maybe you can roll a drunk or something.

McGoo – I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of the Porsche 914.

Huh. Very wedgy and Seventies. Not a body style I particularly liked.

BTW, Wikipedia says Ghia is a car design firm. Also, it says “Karmann.”

Istvan – you nailed it! That was what I was noodling on about. Thank you! I was getting worried about my memory.

Karmann, huh. Well, remember, its Wiki. “Right enough at twice the cost!”

Went to Denny’s. Ate. Took pity on the two servers in there. They have no clue as to the peril they were in.

Whoa. Tried to log into the ‘passport’ service this morning, and it appears that giving the wrong answer three times permanently disables your account and you have to go back through corporate security to get it unlocked. How about that?

Problem is, “first car” isn’t like “mother’s maiden name”. My second car, for example, was a VW Beetle. So how would I answer if it were my first? Beetle? Bug? VW? Volkswagen? Some combination?

That sucks, Weasel. I think you should moon Corporate Security. Its the only way to be sure…

There needs to be an e-mail version of mooning. I can hear the audio clip now: “You’ve been mooned!”

There would have to be a new category of junk mail: Lunars.

Another seemingly insurmountable problem that crumbles – crumbles,I say! – in the face of McGoo ingenuity.

Fountain Pen Pron for you Penvert and Fetishists

http://www.joonpens.com/index.php

Here’s a particularly kinky one if you’re into that sort of thing…

http://www.joonpens.com/Jean%20Pierre%20Lepine_pens.html

Oh, and remember that bit of generational wisdom that is passed on to every young executive about the time he earns his first really nice pen:

“Never dip your pen in the Company Inkwell”

Fountain Pen Pron for you Penvert and Fetishists

http://www.joonpens.com/index.php

Here’s a particularly kinky one if you’re into that sort of thing – and you know who you are –
Take a look at the Jean Pierre Lepine pens – Those Frenchmen!
Your Freind nods knowingly here

Oh, and remember that bit of generational wisdom that is passed on to every young executive about the time he earns his first really nice pen:

“Never dip your pen in the Company Inkwell”

*pengasm*

For you book-lovers (pun intended): Hot Library Smut.

Those are beautiful, Mus!

Ahhhh…in high school, I worked for the Joint University Library, which was actually a system of libraries. Mostly Vanderbilt, with several other Nashville colleges chipping in. The main library was a spectacular place. They slapped a new, modern library onto the front of the old 19th C one…so you’d walk along, and suddenly you’d be staring at the granite, bird-poop stained sills of the old facade inside the new one. There were staircases and elevators that only went to certain floors. I found a sink between shelves once that I never found again.

I loved that place.

From Joon’s shipping info page (I just dropped about 80-something for pens: darn you, A Freind!): We do not ship to Africa or Ghana.

Oh, really. I had no idea Ghana seceded from Africa. Learn something new everyday.

Thanks, Steamboat McGoo!

Northwestern University’s Deering Library is attached to the larger, more modern university library. Deering has special collections, some areas for books, and reading/studying halls. It’s gothic-ish. Absolutely stunning inside and outside. The larger university library looks like a prison. And is quite confusing inside. (Campus rumor has it that a prison architect designed the library.)

Hotard, one of the dorms on the Texas A&M campus, was actually once a minimum-security prison. There was a tunnel leading from it to Sbisa, the dining hall, where the convicts prepared meals for the students.

Alas, it’s not a dorm anymore. It got taken over by the university and turned into offices. I thought that was a shame, because that dorm had a really unique culture and a very low turnover rate. Despite the fact that it didn’t have air conditioning (believe me, you do NOT want to live in central Texas without A/C, winter or not), most of the guys who lived there stayed there all four years.

A lot of people didn’t know where Hotard was due to its location (kind of set back from the sidewalks, and didn’t have the same architecture as other dorms, or nearly as many bike racks around it). So, one year, they put on their hall t-shirts, “Hotard: Your Girlfriend Knows Where We Are.” Offensive, but funny. I can’t believe the residence hall association approved it. They were generally really uptight about that kind of thing.

Cheezus, Mrs Peel! If the name “Hotard” didn’t offend them, they’re unoffendable!

If the name “Hotard” didn’t offend them…

Oh my yes, let us see now, what- my finely and fully formally educated friends- what our esteemable Slang-of- American-Subcultures-Decoding-Device® can determine from this venacularism of the youth of today. We shall insert this phrase into the phrase/word/ receiver-no,no! We shall thrust it into the receiving orifice and demand of our mechanical oracle the truth!

* Hotard *

A: Ho comes from the Afro-American term for “Whore” but that term really refers to a dislikable woman regardless of her sexual preferences, history, or source(s) of income.

B: ‘Tard comes from the West Virginian term for the general population there,but shakend down to its origins refers to someone dumb enough to handle rattlesnakes and think that God likes that idea and that the rattlesnakes won’t mind either. In short: someone stupid.

Thus we find that Hotard is a true Americanism; a blending of two discrete cultures that elsewhere in history would have never talked to each other let alone blended a word into something new….

But enough analysis
(and coffee! Yes, oh my goodness,yes
more than enough coffe)

Let us push the button,perform the verbal algebra of combining of A + B and reveal the truth according to our scientific analysis recognizing that (A + B) = (B + A) :

Hotard = “Stupid Bitch”

Thank you very much.

Lokki, that was magnificent, especially the observation at the end that some languages reverse prefix and suffix (for no apparent reason, but probably out of sheer spite).

Got to spit it out, though. Put a little English on it (if Gibby and Uncle B will forgive me). HOE-tard. HOEtard.

…and then followed the obligatory half-hour on Google trying to figure out why we say “put a little english on it” for putting spin on something. Near as I can make out, it’s because it takes a little extra “body language” (or body english) to put spin on a ball when you pitch it.

Then….is a hoedown…um…?

Elementary, my dear Watson.

With a Ho down, you get your money’s worth.

As opposed to a Ho’d Up where you get robbed.

Please let me know if the Slang-of- American-Subcultures-Decoding-Device® may be of further assistance to you.

Oh, good. Getting full value for my Ho dollar is important. I was worried…

I understand now why the Slang-of- American-Subcultures-Decoding-Device® is S.A.S.D.D.

I’ve been sassed’ed.

My first car was a 73 orange bug with th clutch built into the stick. It was called a lady bug cuz even the ladies could work it. I was humiliated by the name but loved that car. I could do a 360 anywhere.