sweasel.com

I looked up from my laptop last night and there, across the other side of the room, was Her Stoatliness with one of these two sitting on her head.

No, I did not make that up.

Yes, it has got that bad.

Even the cat looks disgusted.

Stole your sammich! CHICKEN STOLE YOUR SAMMICH!

This is true, M’lud.

I was thoughtfully gnawing away at a ham and cheese when, with a great flapping, Victoria, the lavender coloured brute, landed on my plate thrusting her beak into my lunch with a look (and never doubt chickens can have ‘looks’) as if to say “What? WHAT!?”

I let her have it.

And I nearly let her have it, too.

I lied. It was Violet (now named Violent) who stole my sammich.

“…an assortment of dickie birds.”

Were there any of the spotted variety?

Apparently “nbpundit” over at GCP just put 4 dozen fertilized eggs in the incubators yesterday, so if you hear a great clucking/whooshing sound coming up behind you, you’ll know who it is.

Me, I’m going to go home and spend some time training squirrels to keep off the bird feeder with the old Benjamin air pistol, pumped just enough to sting. I don’t need a yard full of dead squirrels. Come July 1, it will even be legal to do so in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Until then, I have to fire out the back door from inside the house, which isn’t legal, but nobody can see me doing it.

Narragansetts they be, along with Maran chickens.
So far I’ve not had any land on my head, although I have a Mr.Mrs Banty who come into the house for look see if I leave the back door open.

Yes, one of ours is fascinated by the kitchen door. We never scold her for coming in, but she still looks furtive about it.

I didn’t know there was a breed of chicken called Narragansett, nb!

Uncle Badger: Well, at least the chicken didn’t choose that moment in time to take a dump.

Uncle Badger is henpecked and it’s not even by his wife !!
🙂

At least it’s my cat that’s pushing me around and taking my stuff – that’s perfectly understandable!

Ah, thank God. I was just thinking this morning, Why hasn’t Miz Stoatie mentioned the chooks? Could something have happened to them??
Yes, I have a life, why do you ask?

Heh. Yes, chickens have “looks,” for damn sure. I named our rooster “Stew” just to keep him humble. It ain’t working.

For Elphaba:
Try using a fishing net on him. Not one of those for aquariums, but one of those BIG ones the anglers use. Should be able to put a fear of God in him that way…

Stoatie, the Narragansetts are an old north east coast, some bodies call that New England, turkey. They’re black and white. Does that mean they’re not racist? heh
Now back to my regularly scheduled tornado watch…

Say what you will about thier dining habits, and general ugliness, buzzards sure can fly.

Chicken nicked your sandwich? Your ham sandwich? Blimey, never knew they’d eat ham. Cheeky sods.

Oh, our chickens are definitely carnivores. Turn their beaks up at fruit and veg, but don’t get around them with ham, hot dog, Spam, sausage, cheese. Poultry (little cannibals). Eggs (I hope they never figure out what THOSE are).

For David Gillies :
As has been previously noted here (I believe it was here, since most of the other blogs I frequent are not chicken-centric): “Chickens will eat anything that won’t eat them.” I believe left unsaid was “or die trying.“

It’s against the law to feed chickens meat, by the way. Even bringing it up conversationally will get you in trouble on the Practical Poultry forums, as DEFRA members routinely scan the boards.

Today, the new chickens officially reached the “run up to you all excited when they spot you in the garden” stage of development. Biggest high in town (next to over-the-counter codeine).

Also, you can feed a pig kitchen scraps if he’s destined for your own table, but if you’re going to sell pork, the EU is so specific about what you must feed your pigs that, effectively, they are dictating the price of pork. I talked to one of my neighbors about it recently; they’re getting out of the pig biz. Just doesn’t pay.

When I worked at Dunkin’ Donuts, we’d bag up the old doughnuts every day and hand them off to a pig farmer. I wonder how much good food the in the EU goes to total waste…?

For SWeas:
It could be worse. You could be subject to the USDA:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/dailycaller/20110524/pl_dailycaller/usdafinesmissourifamily90kforsellingafewrabbitswithoutalicense

This is just one of the many reasons I am so fond of US “Law Enforcement”.