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So, Chelsea Clinton made her TV debut last night

The best part of Chelsea Clinton’s TV performance on MSNBC last night was this savage review in the Washington Post today. See, this is what happens when you forcibly hold journalists at arms length for twenty years: they bust out nasty.

I love a mean review. Of anything. A professional word guy being savagely rude about someone else’s work somehow scratches an itch for me. This is the money quote everyone’s running with:

Either we’re spoiled by TV’s unlimited population of giant personalities or this woman is one of the most boring people of her era.

Ow. Only…speaking as someone with crippling stage fright, I have a strong suspicion what we’re really looking at is a serious case of Xanax Face.


Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: December 13, 2011, 9:17 pm

Damn that’s perfect, she does look like Howdy Doody. Not her fault but its a hilarious image.

Comment from Redd
Time: December 13, 2011, 9:22 pm

Okay, I laughed out loud when I saw the pshopp. 🙂

Comment from Mitchell TAFKAEY
Time: December 13, 2011, 9:51 pm

All these years I KNEW her face reminded me of someone but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Awesome job Stoaty!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 13, 2011, 9:56 pm

This can’t be original. I’m *sure* somebody came up with it before me, but I couldn’t resist. I think she’s had a little work done to help correct her Howdy Doodiness. Not 100% successful, obviously.

I was perfectly at peace with the moratorium on stories about Chelsea…until now. Once you put yourself out there, all bets are off.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: December 13, 2011, 10:12 pm

Yeah she’s had some work under the knife, but she’s still got that resemblance going.

Comment from mama winger
Time: December 13, 2011, 10:26 pm

Priceless. Perfection.

Comment from rdbrewer
Time: December 13, 2011, 10:27 pm

So funny.

Comment from Randy Rager
Time: December 13, 2011, 10:29 pm

Your caricature is far too kind. But I like it anyway.

Comment from beasn
Time: December 14, 2011, 12:07 am


*holds lady bits so it doesn’t leak*



hee hee hee hee

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: December 14, 2011, 12:17 am

LOL… Now they just need to team her up with Meghan McCain, and we have a new Broadway act to rival The Vagina Monologs….

Seriousy, I haven’t seen the reviews myself, but from what I hear, they are giving her more grief than Rush Limbaugh….

Comment from Gromulin
Time: December 14, 2011, 12:20 am

I dunno Stoaty, everyone has been hands-off on her looks since Rush made that cheap-shot remark about her fugliness way back when.

But, yeah, you pretty much nailed it!

Comment from John P. Squibob
Time: December 14, 2011, 12:23 am

I didn’t realize it until just now that Webster Hubbell looks liked Howdy Doody.

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: December 14, 2011, 12:30 am

Oooh, good one Scuba!! Megan could be Clarabell with those knockers she shows off all the time!

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: December 14, 2011, 12:52 am


Comment from Nina
Time: December 14, 2011, 1:17 am

Y’all are pretty dang observant, because I didn’t realize it was a ‘shop until I read the comments.

(too harsh?)

Not a clinton fan.

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: December 14, 2011, 1:21 am

Chelsea Clinton has always registered as a null value on my my “people of interest” radar. I was rather astonished when it was announced that she was going into public performance, because that’s really all it is. Other than her parentage, I just don’t comprehend why anyone would pay attention to her.

Comment from Andy
Time: December 14, 2011, 1:21 am

To be fair, the girl didn’t have a chance.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: December 14, 2011, 1:26 am

Nah, not gonna be fair. She didn’t have to sign on to this, she’s on the public stage now. Fair game.

Comment from Andy
Time: December 14, 2011, 1:31 am

Sorry, I meant in the DNA department.

Comment from CPT. Charles
Time: December 14, 2011, 1:49 am

Feh… obviously someone has decided to trot out, and (attempt to) polish up, the next ‘savior’ of the unwashed.

Comment from enter sandman, nothing to see here
Time: December 14, 2011, 2:00 am

Honestly, when you cross the two bagger fugly of her alleged mom with the broken vessel jowliness of dear old adulterer, dad, Chelsea Clinton has the genetic package of Gollum. It’s not fair but she put her Mr Ed in the public square and she gets to deal with the outcome. Her shrew, make that mother, looks like William Holden in drag. Dad has WC Fields down to a science.

So of course her mug could scare the scales off a fish. And she has the personality of wet clay, like mom. She has a face for radio. But not the voice or talent. Maybe she gets down with the written word.

Or maybe she’s just another talentless hack coasting on her family’s name. Like Megaton McCain and Parisite Hilton.

Either way I couldn’t give a rat’s rear less. She’s a hairball regardless.

Comment from JeffS
Time: December 14, 2011, 3:01 am

Well, she’s indeed fugly, thanks to her parentage, but some strange cocktail of genetics, politics, and liberal idiocy has given Chelsea the ass of life.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: December 14, 2011, 4:19 am

I do think she was just petrified with fear, not devoid of charisma but really, who thought she’d be brilliant on her own show without a shred of experience or evidence of her ability?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 14, 2011, 9:31 am

That’s the problem with being a first kid: you get to skip the apprenticeship, so you never learn the trade.

If an ordinary mortal wanted to be a TV reporter…first off, she’d have to want it pretty bad even to get a foot in the door. Then, she’d have to start at some regional station, reporting on snowstorms and lost cats. For, like, years. By the time she set foot on a national stage, she’d have a world of experience.

Famous children just get plopped into roles they’re unprepared for. To be perfectly honest, I feel pretty sorry for Chelsea. Don’t know if it’s true, but do you remember the stories that Bill and Hillary would sit her down and scream at her to toughen her up “because that’s what real life is like” or something like that?

If she wanted to be a housewife in Schenectady, they wouldn’t let her.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 14, 2011, 10:38 am

As somebody’s daughter, let me say this photo has always struck me as really, really creepy:

I’m hoping the camera just caught them at a funny place after she’d had a word in his ear or something, but there are lots of other shots that give me the willies.

Comment from MIke C.
Time: December 14, 2011, 10:43 am

GCPers agree – absolutely perfect photoshop there.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: December 14, 2011, 1:05 pm

Why is it always *Schenectady*? What's so funny about that, hm?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 14, 2011, 1:28 pm

Coulda been Poughkeepsie. Or Podunk. Or Albuquerque.

But now that I know you’re a Schenectady gal, it’ll stick.

Comment from Bill (the .003% of your traffic from AfStan)T
Time: December 14, 2011, 1:31 pm

Coincidentally enough, “Rock Center’s” first half-hour consisted of an epically long report from the also newly hired correspondent Ted Koppel.

*Someone* at “Rock Center” has an unhealthy fascination with Howdy Doody…

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: December 14, 2011, 1:56 pm

Well, Sweas, at least you can spell Schenectady!

*cue music*

Comment from sandman says:nothing to see here…
Time: December 14, 2011, 2:46 pm

The lst time I saw a mug like Chelsea’s, there was a bag of oats strapped to it.
*rim shot*

Chelsea’s favorite time? Getting the current Buffalo Bob’s (Bill?) hand pulled out of her…excuse me? And that would be Buffalo Bill (Clinton) with the disappearing hand.

Keeping it all in the family, like West Virginia hootch making…yee haw.

*yawn* I’m souther and we’ve been making Clinton/Carter jokes since Carter Country was on television. And that show sucked beans.

Anything to do with the Clinton/Carter/Obama theme makes my guts crawl.

Those guys suck.

*makes cocked finger motion with hand, says BANG! at Can’t Hark, the resident lib*

Comment from sandman says:nothing to see here…
Time: December 14, 2011, 2:50 pm

Lessee. Skinexttame. Skinextoadee. Scumuptohere.
Nope, not gonna happen.
No spellin juju here.

The clinton’s creep me out, especially Bill and his Lewinsky aged daughter, Chelsea

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: December 14, 2011, 3:12 pm

What puzzles and fascinates me is the question: Why?

Surely it must have become clear early in the process that she was going to be terrible at this kind of thing. I don’t believe that there is one recorded instance anywhere of Chelsea having ever once said anything witty or clever. Sure, it could be argued that the same could be said of Big ‘uns McCain but she was put on stage to embarass Republicans and one has to admit that there’s a sort of peek-through-your-fingers-at-the-coming-train-wreck amusement to be had from her performances.

Chelsea’s performance on the other hand is more akin to watching laundry dry on the line. I can only speculate that her appearance on the stage comes from the Left’s misunderstanding of their own petard’s success. The ‘popularity’ of a Child-of-the-Right means they must copy with a Child-of-the-Left, forgetting the original reason for putting Ms. Big BrasBrass on stage to begin with. So, also confusing ‘petard’ with ‘canard’ they’ve given us Ms. Clinton, following the pattern of insisting that Rachael Maddow (who has 11 uninstitutionalized listeners) is the Left’s equivalent to Rush Limbaugh.

Dare I say that once again they’ve been foisted by their own canard?

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: December 14, 2011, 3:52 pm

Sandman–for what it’s worth, I was never a fan of Mr. Clinton, and was outraged by the failure of his supporters to acknowledge just how wrong his sexual interaction with a subordinate employee in his workplace was. And–I don’t watch TV, so I’ve no informed opinion on Chelsea Clinton’s performance, but I have always found the spectacle of the children of politicians who can’t seem to figure out how to do anything productive on their own very sad.

Comment from As If I Cared
Time: December 14, 2011, 4:12 pm

From AoSHQ, I bring you greetings (and the choicest snark on this subject that I’ve seen yet):

That’s our sister!
Posted by: Stain on Monica’s Dress

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 14, 2011, 4:23 pm

Heh. And congratulations on the first bit of snark based on my comment form.

Comment from Deborah
Time: December 14, 2011, 4:30 pm

No doubt, Chelsea Clinton is being “groomed” for a political role of some kind. It’s what the Democrats did with John Kennedy Jr. It’s what they did with his sister Caroline, which was going great until she was recorded speaking extemporaneously. Not to mention all those other Kennedy spawn. But Chelsea’s a different kind of legacy Democrat, they hope. If she has her mother’s grit and her father’s charm, she’ll go far with Democrats On the other hand, if she has her mother’s charm

Comment from Redd
Time: December 14, 2011, 5:35 pm

Chelsea is 32 years old and has accomplished nothing on her own. Furthermore, I would think that if she had any grit or charm we would have seen it by now. Have you?

This old Derbyshire article has been floating around. He nails it:


Comment from Oldcat
Time: December 14, 2011, 5:57 pm

Bill was an actual politician. Hillary isn’t, and Chelsea is like most rich heirs, far worse than someone you pull off the street at the original job. She’s *entitled*…Bill had to work for it.

She may get some political job like the Kennedy Scions, but like them they won’t be worth much. Let the Dems have the dead weight instead of someone new that might be competent.

Comment from Oldcat
Time: December 14, 2011, 6:03 pm

Some Vegetable…

She’s a *celebrity*, that’s why. It’s like being a duke. The Duke of Nothingham is interesting because he’s a Duke. If he wasn’t, he’d be a plain, boring old fart.

Comment from beasn
Time: December 14, 2011, 6:26 pm

Thing is, she is 32, still in academia, and has done nothing worthy with all that education…other than working at a hedge fund and marrying a hedge fund son of a criminal….

Just wait ’til they push for a cabinet appointment for her.

Comment from sandman says:nothing to see here…
Time: December 14, 2011, 6:45 pm

okay, Can’t hark gets a semi pass. You don’t have to claim Clinton and I can deny Boehner and Gingrich exist. They all smell like career politicos to me and I hate career do-nothings.

On a brighter note, Can’t hark, I hate most tv and spent three hours yesterday oxide coating two long guns and a SIG pistol as well as my Walther clone. Stained a gun stock too. Never saw Chelsea at all and only watched snippits on youtube. Chelsea seems like an awfully untalented young man but hey, so was Bill, and Hillary.

Snark aside, Rich kids deserve nothing they don’t earn. If the parents pay for it, oh well. She got her chance, she sucked beans, and prolly she’ll disappear in a short amount of time.

Billary, the two headed leftist, not so lucky.

Comment from Redd
Time: December 14, 2011, 7:12 pm

She was appt’d to some lefty board last month at 300k a year for doing nothing. That is how it works.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: December 14, 2011, 8:53 pm

Yeah that’s a pretty disturbing picture of the two all right. Its one frame away from a romantic kiss and you can’t get away from the whole “well they are from Arkansas” vibe.

Comment from Veeshir
Time: December 14, 2011, 10:16 pm

Heh, great pshop. It’s almost not a pshop.

As for Schenectady, make fun of it all you want, just leave Niskayuna alone.

Comment from Allen
Time: December 14, 2011, 11:08 pm

Oh my, that’s perfect. Howdy Clinton, bwhahaha! Here’s one I saw recently “Pennywise” Gingrich

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: December 14, 2011, 11:56 pm

Veeshir–now /that’s/ getting close to home. . .

Comment from mojo
Time: December 15, 2011, 8:49 pm

The “lucky sperm club” only guarantees access – talent is your own lookout.

Comment from Nora Trane
Time: December 19, 2011, 4:40 pm

At some point haven’t the Clintoons made enough money per our SCOAMF? Shouldn’t this position at NBC news have one to a 99%er per the SCOAMF?

Comment from Noelegy
Time: December 20, 2011, 8:59 pm

Well, get ready: in twenty years or so, we’re sure to be treated to overexposure of the Obama girls in similar fashion.

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