So join us why, don’t you?
I know, I know…I’m an addict. I’m not doing myself any favors here, but I canNOT keep away from the tossed word salad that is Meghan McCain’s Daily Beast column.
I can’t fisk the whole thing or I’d teach my keyboard to fly. Gah! It’s like stream of consciousness lightly sprinkled with punctuation.
Only someone as rich as Meghan could uncritically accept the story that a New York City schoolteacher made $15,000 a year (the first woman she talked to). Or that birth control is somehow harder or more expensive than bearing that lady’s six children.
But most of the people who I spoke to had real stories of hardship and despair. Tom Quigley, a 23-year-old college graduate from Buffalo, N.Y., said he couldn’t find a full-time job after graduating from college. He’s taking a cross country bike trip, and he plans on stopping at all the various Occupy Wall Street gatherings across the nation.
That’s a real story of hardship and despair? Really? I couldn’t find a full-time job right out of school, either, so I slung donuts for Dunkin’ for a couple of years (I won’t lie; I loved that damn job).
I’m the daughter of one of the most long-standing senators in politics and I have been given every opportunity that anyone could possibly dream of.
Quick, get John McCain a chair!
I was given those opportunities as a result of the hard work from both sides of my family.
No, Meghan, you were given those opportunities because of money. You inherit money. You don’t inherit hard work. Your forebears may (or may not) have worked hard for the money, but you just woke up under a pile of it. If you want credit for hard work, you’ll have to do some of your own.
What struck me more than anything is that for the first time possibly in history, people aren’t being given the same opportunities that my parents and grandparents had.
First time in the history of what? Oh, god, this is such a tragic mess.
The last paragraph…oh, you just know how great it sounded in her head. All quirky and Cohn-brothers.
As I was leaving Occupy Wall Street, I spotted a man who was attending the festivities wearing a giant cape made of tin foil. He was pretending that he could fly, but the tin foil just kept blowing around him, making an empty crinkling sound. He isn’t the kind of superhero that these people need.
Aluminum cape, tin ear. Not sure the dude in the picture is Meghan’s bud, but he’s the only hit I got for foil and Occupy Wall Street (nicked from Weasel Zippers).
Okay, I’ll stop now.
October 25, 2011 — 10:21 pm
Comments: 34
Round 21: race for the dick!
After forty-two years of batshit insane misrule, Moammar Gadhafi finally gets two in the hat. Hooray, and congratulations to Formerly Known as Skeptic.
Ready? Here we go…!
0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution actually has a scheduled appointment.
1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).
2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.
3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.
4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?
5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.
6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.
7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you don’t want the fabulous prize, you’re too smart to be a regular. It takes me forever to put them in the mail, packages go by slow boat, typically take minimum eight to ten weeks and lose the will to live along the way.
8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.
What’re we playing for? Aunty’s dick!
October 21, 2011 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 129
Warner Brothers thanks you for your custom
I haven’t seen V for Vendetta, either in its comic book or movie form, but from the plot synopsis, I can see why anonymous glommed onto the mask as a fitting symbol.
But, geez, Guy Fawkes? Wanted to blow up parliament because he hoped the next king would be nicer to Catholics. Not really a man for our times. Oh, and he failed. Also, drawn and quartered.
Even better, those masks are made by Rubie’s Costume Company of Long Island, under license to Warner Brothers. They reckon they’ve sold 100,000, list price $9.99.
So, the delightful question is, just how much money has the anti-corporate-greed crowd generated for one of America’s richest corporations?
October 20, 2011 — 10:00 pm
Comments: 43
ding-ding-ding
Plenty of time to kick off a new Dead Pool.
Tomorrow. Six o’clock Weasel Blog Time!
Be there! Um, here.
— 3:09 pm
Comments: 18
I will force spiders and badgers on the enemy
“Now you got me whispering to a freak who thinks that fish have menstrual cycles.”
I’m always late to the party, so y’all have probably seen the Bad Lip Reading people. File this under “ideas I wish I’d thought of” — except that it takes some skill and hard work to overdub video as convincingly as these are.
They’re all worth a browse, but my favorite is still the Mitt Romney one that made the rounds yesterday. Not because I hate Romney (though I’m kind of working toward it), but because he’s such a polished character, it’s extra special fun hearing bugfuck crazy things come out of his mouth.
So — let’s go out and shop and grease a big nickel!
October 19, 2011 — 9:28 pm
Comments: 8
aiiiiiiii! Saber tooth Bambi
I cannot beLIEVE the Daily Mail would do a feature on highway strikes by muntjac deer without mentioning the lurid fact that these adorable critters HAVE GINORMOUS HORRIBLE SLAVERING FANGS. Well, the males do.
Seriously, are there any other herbivores with huge pointy canines? I mean, other than that other Chinese deer with the pointy teeth? It’s a male aggression thing, like horns. I mean, they don’t roam the countryside tearing the throats out of unsuspecting hikers.
Muntjacs are an import. They got away from a wildlife park in 1925 and, like so many accidental imports, they’re loving the temperate climate of England. Multiplying like bunnies (which are also imports, by the way).
Also, Wikipedia tells me “The Indian Muntjac is the mammal with the lowest recorded chromosome number: The male has a diploid number of 7, the female only 6 chromosomes.”
Okay, I just threw that last bit in to get Oceania’s motor running.
October 18, 2011 — 11:23 pm
Comments: 41
I have this little dream
O, what would I give to see Men of Color, Drunk/Sober, LGBT Youth, The Homeless, The Mentally Ill and Muslims all together in one place. And none of those gosh-darned policemen!
October 17, 2011 — 1:16 pm
Comments: 30
ZOMG! Totally like 99% of Americans
The caption reads: Transgender Anarchist Natalie Kobra Puke, from Russia. Go on, click. You know you want to see this one in color.
The Occupy Wall Street Movement: totally like 99% of us.
— 1:03 pm
Comments: 31
My favorite sign so far
Heh. Here’s somebody taking Occupy Wall Street with an appropriate amount of seriousness. Also, she’s going to get her wish.
If you’d like to join me bobbing for nutcakes on Flickr, the official keyword is occupiedwallstreet.
Or if you’d rather indulge in a little light reading, Breitbart is crowdsourcing some of the 49 megs worth of #ows emails that mysteriously turned up on Mediafire.
It’s adorable watching hippies community organize in real-time.
— 12:56 pm
Comments: 5
Twinkle on, you crazy minions!
Okay, because I love you guys, and because I sold you short last night, I made you a toy to play with. Yes I did!
I made two new emoticons for use in the comments, the twinkle and the down-twinkle. Apparently, when hippies congregate in large groups and struggle to make decisions, they wiggle their fingers at each other to signal approval or disapproval. No lie.
Here, I’ll let this young lady explain.
I didn’t actually call the emoticons twinkle and down-twinkle, because I’d have to tinker with the WP code (something I wouldn’t mind doing, except I’d have to REdo it every time I patched WordPress), I piggy-backed two existing built-in emoticons instead.
To invoke the twinkle, type the word “shock” with a colon on either side, or make a ‘shock’ face with an 8 followed by a capital O.
To invoke the down-twinkle, type the word “eek” with a colon on either side, or make an ‘eek’ face with a : followed by a lowercase o.
There ya go, wingnuts! Happy disapproving of stuff!
October 15, 2011 — 7:57 pm
Comments: 63