Nan in the Pan
Most people probably know this movie from the MST3K version. It was the first episode hosted by Mike Nelson, and featured a cameo at the end featuring Mary Jo Pehl as The Head (or “Jan in the Pan” as they called her).
But me, I first saw this movie on the afternoon Creature Feature when I was a kid and it scared the hell out of me. I totally empathized with Jan in the Pan. What did all that stuff sound like splooshing around in the tubes? What if her nose itched?
The Ick Factor was enhanced by a very convincing imitation severed-head-in-a-pan at the state fair the next year, done using a variation of the Pepper’s ghost illusion.
Anyhow, at first I thought it was high-larious that Nancy wouldn’t step down and the remaining Dem caucus was all, like, “oh no — we weren’t liberal enough.” But my LULs are giving way to a pervading uneasiness. They either psychotically missed the world’s most obvious message, or they heard us loud and clear and just don’t give a shit. Not good, either way.
In a two-party system, it’s dangerously bad mojo if either party gets too crazy.
November 18, 2010 — 7:50 pm
Comments: 10
‘Tis the season
God, politics is weird these days. I never thought I’d be so angry at a Republican win, nor so delighted at a Democrat win. I speak, of course, of Murkowski and Pelosi.
Oh, well. Two ugly, selfish old broads. The illustrator in me should be delighted. (Speaking of dessicated old illustrations, that’s my Zombie-Santa-in-progress for this year. Also, don’t touch my junk, imagery shamelessly stolen from Iowahawk).
Oh, and I’ve been test-driving Rockmelt, a new browser that integrates Twitter and Facebook. If I know my clientele, I’d guess you guys are mostly dyed-in-the-wool Twitter/FB resisters, but it does have a few interesting features.
It’s built around Chrome, so it’s VERY nimble and quick. I’ve got FireFox going at the same time, and the difference is striking. Whatever you happened to be reading, you can click a button to Tweet it or put it into your status on FB. And it’s got a neat little translation program — land on a page in another language (happens to me a lot) and it’ll offer to translate it for you. Does a pretty good job, too.
Invitation only. You can probably wangle an invite out of them directly (it’s nowt more than a marketing gimmick, after all). If not, I have a couple to share. Drop me a line.
November 17, 2010 — 10:32 pm
Comments: 11
Do you smell something?
Ha! Just kidding! You have to have some degree of self-awareness to produce flop-sweat. This guy will go to his grave thinking he’s bestest president that ever was.
A whole forest of swinging clue-bats wouldn’t help this one “get it.”
Still, I’m stonked that there are already calls for him to stand down in 2012. I can smell the FAIL from over here.
November 15, 2010 — 11:15 pm
Comments: 17
In the spirit of helpful bipartisanship
Okay, I understand the point of view that Nancy Pelosi was only doing her job by putting the screws to her caucus and making them vote for shit. But she didn’t have to walk right through the middle of an enraged, chanting mob, laughing and carrying a huge fucking clownhammer of a gavel on her way to said vote.
She really didn’t.
There’s “getting the job done” and there’s “getting the job done then taking your opponent by the collar and smashing his face into the steamy shitpile you just passed.”
She deserves every drop of what’s headed her way.
November 11, 2010 — 9:35 pm
Comments: 29
My mom would be so proud
Inspired by this tweet. Did I say “inspired”? I meant “stolen.”
Yes, I’ve put it on stuff, but Zazzle hasn’t kicked any of it loose yet. Hey, you know all that “DEFUND PBS” merchandise I promised? I made a bunch of it and they pulled the lot. “Trademark violation” for using the name PBS.
Stupid Zazzle.
I’m still soldiering on manfully with Twitter, the way one brushes one’s teeth or eats one’s broccoli. I haven’t really “got it” yet, I guess. Too many blind links, too much repetition, way, WAY too much pointless attention whoring. Marketing never was in my skillset.
And I’ll tell you this for free: there are several people on Twitter who would be well-advised not to be. People who come across as decent and thoughtful in long posts and as screaming assholes in the rapid world of 140-char interchange.
November 9, 2010 — 11:51 pm
Comments: 28
Emo president is emo
I watched the whole hour of Obama’s post-election press conference and, honestly, I thought he did okay for the circumstances. And I thought the press did okay asking reasonably stiff questions.
Like he was ever in a bzillion years going to say, “Meh. I guess people just hate my ideas after all.”
Remember that weird obsession the press had with making Bush confess he’d made mistakes? And they thought it was super creepy that he wouldn’t?
Right. The guy on the raft says to the great white sharks, “excuse me, boys, while I toss a little chum your way.”
Same for Obama. So he keeps a straight face and drones on about electric cars and communication. Like Scarlett O’Hara in the slutty red dress, he had to go out there and say the words one more time. Must’ve hurt like a bastard. I cut him slack on this one.
But after this, the hairy eyeball.
If you don’t recognize the source image, punch here.
November 4, 2010 — 9:56 pm
Comments: 21
Ummm…yay. I guess.
Ach. God. What did I drink last night? My mouth feels like I’ve been chewing pine martens.
So! Biggest Republican wave in 80 years! Why am I not happy?
Maybe because I was expecting the biggest Republican wave, like, EVARRR. I’m highly susceptible to last-minute hype.
Maybe because a I CAN NOT Be-LEEEVE Massachusetts didn’t take the opportunity to rid itself of that spiteful, edentulous old queen Barney Frank. Or that I’ll spend another umpty-ump years staring at Harry Reid’s gray puss.
Mostly, though, it’s because I’ve been banging around the ‘sphere today and I’m shocked by the amount of acrimony on ‘our’ side about the ones that got away.
I’ve been chewing it over, and I don’t think I’m wise enough to get into it without, at best, adding to the general bitterness.
Except…just…we have a long, long way to go yet. That thing last night? That was a good beginning.
We have to maintain our giant stitched-together alliance at least through one more cycle. We can’t afford the luxury of poking each other in the eye. Which means putting up with some less than universally popular choices.
Just, please — I’m begging you — no Huckabee. Okay?
Now, somebody get me some hair-of-the-dog, stat.
November 3, 2010 — 8:32 pm
Comments: 57
As happy as a moron with two dicks…
Damn, I’d love to be there for this election night, but I’ll be tucked up in my weaselly bed dreaming my weaselly dreams by the time the polls close and the results trickle in.
But I want to be a part, so let’s have ourselves a Guess-The-Magnitude contest. The winner gets a double dose of Aunty’s Spotted Dick!
1. I want two numbers from you: the number of Republicans you think will be in the House, and the number of Republicans you think will be in the Senate when the dust settles. The difference between your choice and the reality, added together, is your final score. Lowest number wins.
2. Several different House/Senate combinations could result in the same ultimate score. If that happens, the earliest timestamp gets the dicks (and the others will get a cheaper-to-mail consolation prize that I will pull out of my ass as necessary).
3. Check the thread yourself if you want to avoid having an exact duplicate of someone else’s pick. I’m far too lazy to do it for you.
4. Contest stays open until we have a firm preliminary count. I’ll say when. In the event of contested races, we could be here for quite a spell before the absolute, final numbers and a winner is declared.
5. If you want your prize, you’ll have to entrust me with a snail-mail address. Dicks travel by slow boat and take months to arrive.
Some reminders: all 435 seats in the House are up for renewal, but the guesstimate I’ve read for the absolute maximum that could change hands is 100. Currently, there are 178 Republicans, so the min/max is 178/278. [Update: in the comments, RedHatRob says he thinks the upper limit is WAY over 100. He’s tracking 151 D seats]
In the Senate, 36 are up for re-election, but only 10 are really in play. Number of Republicans in the Senate: 41. Min/max is 41/51. [APOSEC72 sees 52 in play]
I’m sure I’ll amend this post several times as people point out flaws in my methods or my math. I’ve never run this kind of pool before.
Good luck, AND FOR GOD’S SAKE VOTE OR I’LL CHEW OPEN A VEIN. Preferably yours.
Time! No more entries, please. As soon as I beat back this hangover, I’ll assess the state of play.
November 2, 2010 — 12:00 pm
Comments: 80
DEFUND!!!
NPR chief executive Vivian Schiller is defending the firing of news analyst Juan Williams after his comments on the Fox News Channel, saying his feelings about Muslims are between him and “his psychiatrist or his publicist.”
The “psychiatrist” part of that smirking little Vivian Schiller remark has gotten a lot of attention, but I think the “publicist” part is full of burn, too. As in — if you say you’re scared of motherfucking muslims on the motherfucking plane, you’re either crazy, or you’re just doing it for attention.
What? I know, I know…the logo is for PBS, and Juan Williams got booted from NPR. The PBS logo was simply funner to play with. Anyhow, fuck it. Defund the lot — PBS, NPR. CPB, while we’re at it. That’s a start.
Yes, yes…there’s merchandise. I whipped up a batch hours ago, but Zazzle is so constipated, none of it is showing up yet. Well, there’s a bumpersticker.
But remember — none of this hilarity will be possible unless we win AND WIN HUGE next week! Forget the Democrats, it’s got to be big enough to scare the shit out of Republicans, or they’ll all sink back into the warm, comfy slops together.
October 26, 2010 — 11:27 pm
Comments: 10
It’s not about the money
Okay, so NPR has sacked Juan Williams for admitting a perfectly unexceptional uneasiness when forced to share a plane with people who conspicuously display their Muslimness.
Of course, he was explaining why those feelings are wrong, but NPR has been itching to get rid of Williams for some time. A doctrinaire liberal who occasionally blurts out things that are not retarded, Williams has gotten a little too comfy being Fox’s pet lefty.
FOX BAD. NO GO FOX.
So anyway…blah blah blah…usual calls to defund NPR. It would be a nifty first nibble for our (pleaseohpleaseohplease) new Republican majority, but we’ve been teased with this so many times before.
Did you know, less than two percent of NPR’s funding comes from the federal government?
“Well, that’s easy!” you say to yourself, “why doesn’t NPR voluntarily divest itself of that 2% and save itself the ass-ache?”
Because, my reliable wingnut friend (and watch your language), lefties love, love, LOVE the idea of state-sponsored media. If they didn’t get that little two percent squidgen of tax money, they couldn’t look their friends at the BBC in the eye. They wouldn’t have the imprimatur of a public service, or the pleasure of making you pay for their services whether you like it or not. It would ruin everything.
In fact, if you look at NPR’s funding picture, it’s got ALL the things lefties love most. Taxes. Big grants from enigmatic groups with important-sounding names. Individual donations (hidely ho, George Soros!). Corporate sponsors (what we in the straight world call “advertisers”). And all the money they raise every single quarter by hectoring their customers and guilting them into paying “their fair share” for the privilege of listening.
Man, did I love yelling “no!” at my radio during pledge drives.
Remember, Dead Pool tomorrow. Six o’clock WBT, sharp. Be there or stay dickless!
October 21, 2010 — 7:28 pm
Comments: 28