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Wouldja lookit the time!

Well, would you look at that! It’s Friday the 13th, it’s a full moon and the whole world is burning (those excitable brown people in the East, anyway). Eh, in the immortal words of Scarlet O’Hara, “fuck that, it’s Friday!”

Here, I think you should follow this guy on Twitter: Greenwich Mean Time. Twice a day, randomly, it tells you the time. And is mean to you.

It’s 8.37pm. You didn’t get that job because you smell like shit and also because you’re fucking stupid…It’s 8.15pm. It’s not just in your head, your tone of voice IS awful…It’s 10.50am. You could be outside but instead, you’re stuck in an office because you made all the wrong life decisions…It’s 2.41pm. All your school friends were paid actors from a local children’s television workshop. It nearly bankrupted your parents…It’s 11.19pm. I hope you shit yourself in your sleep…It’s 10.29pm. You’re a twatparrot…It’s 12.15am. Even those fake followers you bought have muted you.

What? No, I don’t use Twitter much these days, either. But I’d rather have an anonymous internutter pretending to be a clock insult me twice a day than follow current events at the moment. Or, you know, sharp stick in the eye is good.

Good weekend, all!

June 13, 2014 — 10:15 pm
Comments: 28