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Dead Pool Round 131: AAAAAHHHHH I’M LAAAATE

SHITSHITSHIT. Lookit the time! Holy geez.

Currently wins the dick with Carl Reiner. That is all.

GOGOGOGO!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

July 3, 2020 — 6:04 pm
Comments: 80

Take two

Meh. I just abandoned a post partway through.

I watched a complete walkthrough of the game The Last of Us 2 last week. In case you’ve missed the controversy, it’s another lost battle in the culture war (it’s oh, so painful and woke). But apparently I can’t explain why without gibbering at great length and most of you aren’t the least interested in video games.

So let me leave it at this: the picture is a new character. Here she is, exhausted from slowly beating to death your favorite character from the first game with a golf club, while your other favorite character watches, screaming and crying. It happens about two hours in.

Then you get to spend ten hours playing as her. The murderer. Who is totally a woman and not a transsexual or anything.

The message of the game is ‘hate is bad’. Because of all the shitty things that happen to your other favorite character as she seeks revenge. Not because of anything bad that happens to Tranny McMa’am here. She’s fine.

It’s a thoroughly miserable experience from start to finish. And some (many!) people are calling it a masterpiece because anything that hurts this much has got to be grown up and deep, right?

p.s. The graphics were really beautiful. Not going to lie, I’m dying to play a good game with scenery this wonderfully rendered.

July 2, 2020 — 9:17 pm
Comments: 13

Look what Uncle B growed me

I love an artichoke in drawn butter. Drawn garlic butter.

Oh, I’m hungry now. My lunch was disappointing. I tried making salmon croquettes for the first time and they tasted a lot salmonier than my mom’s, somehow.

Anyway, I’ve been amusing myself watching CHAZ come down in realtime. Or CHOP or CHOO CHOO or whatever that loose collection of trust fund babies, upstanding persons of color and hobos were calling themselves by the end. They sure showed us. Now we know a world without cops is possible, provided we’re willing to put up with six shootings, two fatal, in a four-block area over a three week period.

Though to be fair, it was much worse in Chicago, which has plenty of cops.

Somebody had Carl Reiner in the Dead Pool. Uncle Al says it’s somebody named Currently. I’ll confirm that when I queue up a new Dead Pool day after tomorrow.

July 1, 2020 — 7:39 pm
Comments: 10