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President Obama speaks earnestly into a banana

Yes, this exists in color!

Part of a series, with Dan Rather Listens Earnestly to a Banana. I don’t know. Honestly I don’t. <sobs into her hands>

<sits up, wipes her face with her palms>

Okay, we have a winner — Steve takes the dick with Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi. Poor Fawn was in first with Robin Gibb, but he died between Dead Pools, thus depriving her of her rightful dick. Nope, never gets old.

See you here Friday at 6pm WBT for Round 29!


Comment from Nina
Time: May 21, 2012, 11:15 pm

Since Hugo didn’t die I hate you all.

But then again, since today is the last day of school I love you all.

The latter clearly trumps the former.

Comment from the fella what is called sandman and such like
Time: May 22, 2012, 12:10 am

Second, for what it’s worth…

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: May 22, 2012, 12:38 am

Probama with a banana makes me giggle. Which probably makes me racist for thinking it is funny.

Although, it probably wasn’t racist when they photoshopped Bush to look like a chimp.

It’s YOUR fault Hugo hasn’t died. You didn’t want it in your heart, badly enough. Are you teach or learning?

Comment from mojo
Time: May 22, 2012, 2:59 am


Comment from Elphaba
Time: May 22, 2012, 5:16 am

If people keep dying at this pace, you’re eventually gonna run out of money for dick! Seriously, though, Auntie must be doing some great business, thanks to you. 🙂

Comment from Anonymous
Time: May 22, 2012, 5:30 am

Raaaaaascist! Banananananananananas are inherently raaaaaaaascist. (Superanuanry “a” to be distributed on a random basis to state-schooled students on a need to pass basis)

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 22, 2012, 9:32 am

Dick is cheap. *Postage* is expensive. Which is why I send them via the slow boat and it takes months.

I don’t actually believe they put mail on boats anymore. I think they give themselves permission to dawdle around before slipping them on an airplane.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 22, 2012, 9:37 am

You know, I was just about to post the thing before I realized it could be construed as racist. Then I thought, screw it. I P’shopped Dan Rather clutching a bananaphone and didn’t give it a second thought. Why should I give this guy a pass to avoid offending someone?

Comment from nightfly
Time: May 22, 2012, 2:23 pm

I wouldn’t worry, Stoaty. Roughly 84.8% of all children between the ages of 3 and 7 have grabbed a banana and used it as a telephone. Since that’s approximately the mental age of President Training Wheels, you’re on safe ground.

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: May 22, 2012, 3:38 pm

It’s only racist if you imply it with a non-white


Bananas imply primates
ergo, ipso facto: it’s racist.

Because only us dusky types evolved from primates, those who are melanin-deprived apparently sprang from unicorn dust.

So if you show The Husband talking to a banana it’s just good fun, but if you use a photo of me…then it’s your true racial bias, implying that dark-skinned = monkey.

I made it as my desktop background. Hell, I have a darker complexion than Probama does.

I cannot believe how much hatred I have developed for this person. It’s a bit disconcerting, and I’m starting to sound as loony as Oceania.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: May 22, 2012, 4:38 pm

Everybody complains that Hugo Chávez hasn’t died yet, but nobody does anything about it.

And Photoshopping Obama with a banana is no more racist than Photoshopping Lucy Lawless with a kiwi fruit.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 22, 2012, 5:24 pm

I, for one, think it’s awesome of Feynmangroupie to volunteer to be our dusky person and bestow a bit of necessary color to this blog. In case of diversity spot checks.

Until and unless it turns out someone else hereabouts is even more generously melanin-endowed, of course.

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: May 22, 2012, 7:15 pm

My father’s father is unknown to us, and anyone (on his side) who might have known is dead…or unknown. The Husband thinks perhaps my paternal grandfather was not of European ancestry, but my dad ain’t talking. I’ve had a black dude ask me if I was half-black, two different Thai women ask me if I was Thai, and various others ask me if I was Hispanic, Italian, Greek, and Indian (I don’t know if they meant dot or feather).
Which indicates that I would have made an excellent CIA field operative.

Do I get any perks for being a token? Possibly an applause soundbite whenever I post? Gushing praise for my brilliant comments?

Comment from mojo
Time: May 22, 2012, 7:21 pm

I bet he’s calling up somebody who can carve a better man out of that banana.

Comment from Allen
Time: May 22, 2012, 7:31 pm

Feynmangroupie, I beg to differ. My whiteness did not spring from Unicorn dust, it sprang from Pixie dust. 🙂

As for our genealogy, oi. On my father’s side we have it back to 1300, and farther on my mother’s side. The interesting thing about it is how some of them made their living, or dyin’ as the case may be. I had to laugh at one of my family members who tried to polish up the image of one of our ancestors who was hanged on general principle. The principle being that hanging a murderous thief is generally a good policy.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: May 22, 2012, 8:10 pm

I’ve lived in more black neighbourhoods than Obama has, so I’m legally 1/32 black, and your picture offends me, O! Weasel. You should have had him talking into a drumstick.

Comment from Goober
Time: May 22, 2012, 10:50 pm

Went to the link tot he Dan Rather thingy – had a bunch of limericks in the comments. Can’t help myself…

One of my favorites:

There once was a man from Racine,
who invented a fornicating machine.
Concave or convex,
it could do either sex,
but OH! what a bastard to clean!

The other of my favorites:

There once was a young lass you see,
Who was had by an ape in a tree
the offspring was horrid:
all ass and no for’ead
three balls and a purple goatee

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 22, 2012, 10:52 pm

I’ve got a friend like that, FG. She does know her ancestry, but just from looking at her, she could be Hawaiian or Indonesian or some flavor of Hispanic or fairy princess or…

Comment from Elphaba
Time: May 23, 2012, 2:48 am

If you had Photoshopped BO speaking into a slice of watermelon, now THAT would have been racist. Bananas are fine.

Comment from Oh Hell
Time: May 23, 2012, 4:36 am

My neighbors daughter is 1/2 Filipino and 1/2 Norwegian. She gets SO PISSED when people tell her she is Hispanic!!! Like she doesn’t know who her parents are…..
(On forms where it asks for race, she puts down “white” – she is always asked if she checked the wrong box! )

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: May 23, 2012, 4:51 pm

Speaking of (as well as into) bananas, Stoaty, have you seen this?
Some people have way too much time on their hands. . .

Comment from David Gillies
Time: May 23, 2012, 5:44 pm

I wish I encountered more things that asked me for my ethnicity so I could check ‘African’ (we’re all Africans if you go back far enough.)

Goober, that second line in your limerick doesn’t scan. You need to drop a syllable and find a word for ‘fornicating’ that fits.

Comment from yippee mcskittles bear mcsandman
Time: May 23, 2012, 6:21 pm

I am provably 1/8 Cherokee Injun. That makes me, if I were so inclined, a minority. As a man who thinks of himself as European in ancestry, mostly British Isles and surrounds, it never occurs to think of myself as a minority. But I is, for the absolute record.

That said, this dogeater in the WH would be more prone to speaking into the man-bone than the banana, if reports are accurate. Kind of the way Travolta has blown off gay reports off for years until money came out and Voila! Nat’l Enquirer, page one, smooching dude after dude. In truth, the one kissing old Kirk Douglas is harmless, but the record stand otherwise.

Same goes for the dogeater. He like rubbing groinmuscle and a banana in his hands would prolly be fairly familiar. Might make his Un-Majesty homesick for his body-man, Reggie “Love”.

Therefore, this post cannot be racist. It might offend the dogeater’s handlers and mouthpieces but not for his race, but for the fact that Barky talking into a banana is no more ineffective than his talking into a phone or a radio. His lack of skill, leadershi[p, balls and command presence scream out by any means used. A banana just makes it all the more apparent.

And for the record, I’d give Mooch more command presence than Barky, the nutless wonder.

I loathe this sack of human trash and his handlers.

All of them.


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