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Pull right!

pull right

I’ll be honest with you: I had fuck-all in mind to post tonight, so I was paging through some old unpublished draft posteses. I found this illustration I never used (I remember it looked pretty good in color, I just don’t remember what I made it for). Children yanking an elephant rightwards goes nicely with this very interesting article that Ace pointed to today.

It’s about how the Tea Partiers are taking over the GOP from the very bottom: signing up to be precinct leaders, which is a political rung so low it’s often left empty. But precinct leaders get to vote for the people on the next rungs up. And, let us hope, so on up. That is the way to do the thing, rather than haring off into a third party cul-de-sac.

It’s a mistake to look at the Tea Parties as a movement, I think. It’s just the conservatives in the party. We’ve always been there, and we’ve been getting grouchier and grouchier since, like, Reagan.

Bob Dole was not our guy. Neither of the Georges Bush were our guy. John McCain sure as shit wasn’t our guy (but at least he damaged the idea of the electable moderate). I don’t know if Sarah Palin is our guy, but I know I’m sick of GOP ‘moderates’ complaining that the unfair criticism of her is drowning out all the fair criticism of her.

I’m not even going to mention Massachusetts — I don’t want to jinx anything. I am, however, planning to sacrifice several small animals over the weekend. Because, let’s face it, traditional blood rituals have been lacking in the GOP for far too long.


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: January 15, 2010, 7:53 pm

Hell, I have a $20 bet riding on the Mass. race on the Cornfield with MoulderouX, one of our more reasonable libs. We considered Scotch, but he thought it was really upping the ante…

Comment from dfbaskwill
Time: January 15, 2010, 7:56 pm

Make it a small pig. You get the benefits of the sacrifice and BACON!

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: January 15, 2010, 8:29 pm

Oi… new poll has brown up by over 15 points this evening, up from 4 this morning….

Comment from The Dread Pirate Neck Beard
Time: January 15, 2010, 8:54 pm

I want Sarah to be the warrior-queen who leads us to ballistically unelect those toilet clogging Bog Monsters in DC. But I want lots of fun & unrealistic things.

Comment from drew458
Time: January 15, 2010, 10:03 pm

I have a couple frozen voles I found outside from this latest cold snap. You can have them. Do sacrifices work if the critters are good and dead, or do they have to be freshly dead? They’d burn pretty much the same I think. Ok, some kerosene might help.

Comment from Red State Witch
Time: January 15, 2010, 10:40 pm

Rituals, Stoaty? You pagan weasel, you! 🙂

Comment from Unsupervised
Time: January 15, 2010, 10:55 pm

Your comment about low-level political participation hit home. A few years ago, after retiring from the US Army in a lovely Army Town in Coastal Georgia, I decided to go to the county Republican Convention. It was scheduled from w to z AM on a Saturday (letters since I don’t remember the actual times). I got there a little before the start. It was me and the county Republican Chairman. At w it was still just we two. As it was at w:30, x, x:30. Finally, around y, some folks drifted in. We barely met quorum by y:15 or so, and we finally wound up with 10 of us. Just enough to be delegates to the district Republican convention in Savannah. All of us. Whether we were currently registered Republicans or not (one fellow didn’t even live in the county, but was “moving there soon”). I was really suprised at how we selected our delegates (pretty much “anyone not wanting to be a delegate raise your hand”). And the thought that if I had collected a half-dozen of my buddies, I could’ve taken over the Republican Party in our county.

Comment from AuntyM
Time: January 15, 2010, 10:57 pm

As much as this bacon-lover appreciates the suggestion of small pigs, in honor of the situation in Haiti right now, I am going to suggest the preferred animal of voodoo practitioners across the world, and go with chickens. With chickens, one gets the added benefit of being able to predict the future by observing the color of the entrails, and I’m thinking my chicken’s entrails will be blood red, which I will take as a sign of good things to come in the Bay State

Comment from Tesla
Time: January 15, 2010, 11:47 pm

The key to winning in Massachusettes (accepted Coakley spelling) is to sacrifice several small PETA members instead of small animals. Small animals can often be cute and/or cuddly. Two qualities which have never burdened any PETA member.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: January 15, 2010, 11:50 pm

Yeah its gonna take all of us to drag that retarded elephant to the right, but the leadership will never do it, so we have to.

Comment from The Dread Pirate Neck Beard
Time: January 16, 2010, 12:42 am

I wouldn’t call the Elephant retarded. Retards are generally born that way & many of them try very hard to better themselves as much as possible; this Elephant is insistent on getting as stupid as a Kennedy and remaining that way until it gets the credit it deserves. It would be a damn shame if the GOP won in 2010 only to do the Newt thing again. I’d really rather live through another six years of Democrat nonsense than have an utterly discredited and castrated “conservative” revolution (leading to another 40-60 years of Democrat control as happened after the 1932 election).

Comment from Mike C.
Time: January 16, 2010, 5:27 am

“Grouchy” isn’t some whim or fleeting fashion who’s intensity varies with political outcomes. “Grouchy” is more a way of life and a goal, not unlike “satori.” In the fullness of life, “grouchiness” comes to most, thankfully. The rest of you bastards need to be put down, stat. As the Enlightened I-Man once said,

“we hate everything, and everybody. And we hate everything about everybody.”

Pretty much says it all, yes ?

Comment from Blast Hardcheese
Time: January 16, 2010, 8:49 am

I won’t go into political details (avoid the jinx!), but I have to say the last few days have been a fun time to be in MA. It would give me great pleasure to see the Dem candidate lose, not because she’s a Dem but because she is a genuinely horrible human being. I also think it’s entirely possible that she’s actively trying to throw the race. Consider this; in the last three days, she has:

1) Sneeringly described meet-n-greet efforts as “standing out in front of Fenway Park, in the cold, shaking hands.”

2) Said that Catholics who are against abortion should not be serving in emergency rooms.

3) Said that Curt Schilling as a Yankees fan.

All this from a woman who has supposedly lived in MA for a good chunk of her life. It’s like Springtime for Hitler or something.

Comment from JuliaM
Time: January 16, 2010, 10:01 am

The Tea Party movement hasn’t really got much publicity in the MSM over here, beyond a few sneering articles in CiF.

I wonder what it is they are afraid of?

Comment from The Dread Pirate Neck Beard
Time: January 16, 2010, 12:45 pm

The Tea Party movement hasn’t really got much publicity in the MSM over here, beyond a few sneering articles in CiF.

I wonder what it is they are afraid of?

While I think that the Tea Party movement is quite healthy & good (though to my taste not nearly tarry or feathery enough), it definitely has yet to prove itself. For it to be internationally noteworthy I think it has to seriously upset a couple of major elections, otherwise it’s just another Reform Party without a madcap little H. Ross Perot.

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: January 16, 2010, 2:07 pm

“Get pregnant quickly, reverse infertility!”

Cool beans, does that mean I’ll get my uterus back?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 16, 2010, 2:45 pm

Oh, dear. Am I selling lady parts in the sidebar?

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: January 16, 2010, 2:48 pm

Well they’re promising me that I can get pregant quickly. AND reverse my infertility. Since that’s due to a missing uteri, I guess they’ll go find one for me!! Yay, now we can have children. Thank gods I visit your site Mz Weazie or I would never be so happy!

Comment from Red State Witch
Time: January 16, 2010, 6:16 pm

Say, Stoaty, how about applying your graphics talent to creating a hipper, better-looking version of the elephant for the GOP mascot? The current version they use looks like a first-grader drew it.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 16, 2010, 7:53 pm

Yeah, you know, I can REACH for hip, but I usually grab a big ol’ fistful of WTF instead.

Comment from harbqll
Time: January 16, 2010, 7:55 pm

Dunno about Uteri, but I see you’re selling Russian mail-order brides. I may see about picking up two or three! (It’s been a cold winter…)

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 16, 2010, 8:02 pm

Yes, what is it with this Russian bride scam? My e-mail has been filled with it since the New Year.

As if I haven’t had quite enough problems in that department these past twelve months….. (koff)

Comment from porknbean
Time: January 16, 2010, 8:57 pm

Because, let’s face it, traditional blood rituals have been lacking in the GOP for far too long.

YES!! I’ve been thinking that forever. It’s cagematch time. (And while I’m more Christian, than pagan, there is something to be said for blood rituals, as Jefferson so aptly stated.)

Comment from scubafreak
Time: January 16, 2010, 10:06 pm

Russian Brides? WOOHOO!!!!

I’ll take a Blonde, and Brunette, and 3 Redheads….. 😉

Comment from lauraw
Time: January 17, 2010, 12:08 am

The Russian brides ad, yeah, understandable. Hear tell those things can be quite useful.

I’m a little disturbed that somebody wants to come over here and inspect my mold though. There’s some real freaks out there…

Comment from David Gillies
Time: January 17, 2010, 4:30 am

What I want to know is why you’re not constantly whooping and throwing handfuls of banknotes in the air from the autumn leaf-like piles of the things you should have lying around Badger Cottage. I’ve always been really jealous of good draughtsmanship. I’m surprised you haven’t been actively recruited by one of the big guys like Conde Nast or Dennis.

Comment from Matt
Time: January 17, 2010, 5:59 pm


Ohhhh Sasha, is going to be so upset when she gets here. I can’t wait until she gets my check and can buy a ticket to the states, I’ll bet she’ll freak out when she sees your comment Uncle Badger!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 17, 2010, 9:06 pm

Yeah, firewood and solid fuel have gotten so expensive this year, we’re thinking of burning Russian brides in the woodstove. Problem is, how can you be sure they’re properly seasoned?

Comment from Gregory the First
Time: January 17, 2010, 10:38 pm

Ahem. Bloodletting rituals, if you please.

Of humans. In copious quantities. All figurative, of course (although if said rituals incorporated a bar brawl or a catfight I may be consenting to some real blood loss.)

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: January 18, 2010, 12:25 am

Blood and souls for Arioch!! Save us from teh dreadfully cold glowbull warming!!

Stoaty – don’t burn Russian brides! Take a cue from Dogbert and use environmentalists for fuel instead. They burn cleaner because of the organics and it helps them achieve their dream of carbon neutrality.

Comment from scubafreak
Time: January 18, 2010, 12:43 am

Ugg. My dad is supposed to go into the hospital tommorrow to have his shoulder operated on, and my mom is supposed to go stay with my brother while he is gone. This leaves ME with her dogs, who have never met Schroedinger. I promised to take care of them, but I’m worried about how schroedinger will take it…. 🙁

I’m only really worried about Abigail, my parents poodle. She’s a full size standard poodle. The others are smaller than Schroedinger, and I’m pretty sure he could kick their asses if he had to…

Comment from weirdsister
Time: January 18, 2010, 3:41 am

Stoaty, I was showing my 17 year old your merch site on Zazzle (she’s building a store there for her music and art merch). She loves your “Buy Shit With MY Shit On It” line! I told her she couldn’t steal it.

BTW…how is Zazzle treating you so far? Are they doing everything they are supposed to? Are you happy with it?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 18, 2010, 11:23 am

Of course she can steal it, WS. I love being plagiarized — it makes me feel worthy.

I haven’t bought anything from Zazzle yet — the shipping charges are a bugger. That’s everyone’s main complaint. Particularly outside the US (everything is made in California).

The quality of the goods is supposed to be exceptional, though. It’s not just iron-ons they’re using. And they’ve paid promptly. Customer service has a good rep.

I recommend she spend some time in the Zazzle forums. It’s kind of interesting. There are people making decent money off it — but they’re putting in full-time-job-type hours to do it.

She’s also welcome to email me, if she wants to chat about it.

I’m guessing Schroedinger can take a poodle, Scoob. Even a really big one.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 18, 2010, 11:31 am

When subtitles go horribly wrong.

Comment from Dawn
Time: January 19, 2010, 12:44 pm

I am a precinct committee woman. They yay’ed me in at the December county meeting. Got a certificate to prove it.

Comment from Dawn
Time: January 19, 2010, 12:58 pm

A few weeks later I got a letter form the IRS telling me I had misfiled a 1099 and a jury duty summons. Hmmmm?

Comment from JC
Time: January 19, 2010, 6:41 pm

“John McCain sure as shit wasn’t our guy (but at least he damaged the idea of the electable moderate)”

Word, Sister Weasel. The whole “Big Tent” routine was a loser from jump.

Compromise is predicated on good faith bargaining, but the goals are being moved, and in only one direction.

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