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I has a rocket!



I only bought the one because we were invited over to the neighbors’ for a Fourth of July cookout, and I didn’t think their livestock would appreciate fireworks.

We snuck home full of wine and burgers and let it off in the garden. It…wasn’t very good.

I paid £10 for this thing and it just went whizz-bang-fountain. For that kind of money, I thought sure it would spell out “God Bless America” and hum a few bars of Stars and Stripes Forever.

The best part was where we jammed the firing tube thingie into the soil, and Jack immediately rushed over and took a crap. Any time you disturb earth, Jack’ll plant one in it, quite uninhibitedly. We had to wait for him to fuss over his turd coverings before we could light the fuse. I didn’t want to remember this as The Day I Set Fire To The Cat.

Hope you had a jolly 4th!




Comment from QuasiModo
Time: July 4, 2014, 10:45 pm

Happy Independence Day, Americans on the SWeasey Blog!

Comment from Pupster
Time: July 4, 2014, 11:15 pm

I didn’t want to remember this as The Day I Set Fire To The Cat.

Trust me, sparklers are better. Cats are too hard to keep lit.

Happy Independence Day, Stoaty and Badger.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: July 4, 2014, 11:58 pm

I used to love fireworks, but the govt safety Nazis have made it impossible to purchase well-made stuff any more. And they’ve also made it impossible to get the raw materials in the unlikely circumstance that you are both sufficiently knowledgeable and motivated to do-it-yourself. So, I enjoy my aging memories! More than 50 years ago, I was a kid living in Argentina, where you could buy stuff up to about a quarter stick of dynamite if you were tall enough to look over the counter of the fireworks shop. Golly, did we have fun! And, as a thumb in the eye of any safety Nazi reading this, none of us ever blew fingers off or lost eyes. And as for commercial displays, I’ve seen some very nice stuff: on the Mall in Washington, D.C., on July 4, and in San Francisco on Chinese New Year. Terrific!

But as for the July 4 Independence Day celebration, I can’t help but consider that we in the U.S. observe Independence Day on the anniversary of the American people’s secession from King George III’s despotic govt. Today the event has somehow become a celebration of a govt far more oppressive than George could have ever imagined. It would be right and proper for each one of us Americans to reflect on just how that astonishing course reversal ever came to be.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: July 5, 2014, 12:01 am

Happy Independence Day! I hope oneday someone comes to free us from this tyrant.

Comment from gromulin
Time: July 5, 2014, 12:32 am

In the people’s paradise of Half Moon Bay, they won’t even trust us with sparklers. Ah, well. The prices we pay to live in CA…it really is beautiful here.

Comment from Tree of Liberty
Time: July 5, 2014, 1:03 am

Getting mighty thirsty!

Comment from Nina
Time: July 5, 2014, 3:20 am

It’s pretty boring here. We are in the middle of moving, and almost everything is packed until escrow closes (we are already a week late and over the lease on the rental), so we are having a low-key holiday. We are watching 1776 as usual, though.

Comment from Deborah
Time: July 5, 2014, 3:50 am

Happy Independence Day, Stoaty! Awfully nice of your neighbors to have a cookout. Reminds me of one of the first jokes I understood when I was just a little kid: What do Canadians do on the fourth of July? That’s the day they all go swimming. I thought it was hysterical when I was six.

Honey-Do Husband spent the day on a long list of chores for me—his idea, not mine, but I’m very grateful. My neighbors are burning up fireworks as fast as they can light them. We are on a ridge above the lake, so we can see the pretty lights for a long way. But I’ve had enough and I’m calling it a night.

Happy Happy to you all.

Comment from JuliaM
Time: July 5, 2014, 12:22 pm

Belatedly happy Independence Day!

Comment from Veeshir
Time: July 6, 2014, 1:43 am

There’s just something funny about celebrating the 4th in England.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: July 6, 2014, 1:57 am

And the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
gave proof through the night that S. Weasel lives there.

Comment from Nina
Time: July 6, 2014, 6:35 am

I spent the 4th in England two years ago and it was great fun. We went to this market in Hull and were surprised to see some of the stalls decked out in the American version of red, white, and blue. The stall keepers–uniformly pensioners age-wise–seemed delighted to have actual Americans come through on our Independence Day. We were delighted too.

A lot of we Americans are Anglophiles, and it seems that a lot of Brits are Yankophiles, too.


Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: July 6, 2014, 8:21 am

We had the happy coincidence of the Fourth falling on our ‘special merienda Friday’ – I buy the crew lunch on the first Friday of each month. This time it turned into an after hours BBQ, complete with grilled burgers, hotdogs, macaroni salad, beer, fireworks and an American flag flying over the factory.

French’s mustard didn’t go over too well, tho. Luckily I bought the sweet Filipino version of ketchup, so that kinda made up for it.

Happy Belated Fourth!!!

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 6, 2014, 11:40 am

We are, Nina – and the thing that often seems to get lost is that ‘Americans’ didn’t revolt against the Crown. The revolution was by Brits against Brits. Moreover, the ideas espoused by the rebels were very much part of an intellectual current that ran through political thinking going back hundreds of years.

I sometimes think that our tragedy in the UK was that we didn’t adopt and rigidly adhere to your wonderful founding principles. And yours is that neither did you.

Happy (belated) Fourth, fellow minions!

Comment from Nina
Time: July 6, 2014, 4:48 pm

If you haven’t seen this hilarious ad campaign for Newcastle, you must. It’s inspired: http://youtu.be/eCxb8TrgWA8

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: July 6, 2014, 5:38 pm

Well said, Uncle B.

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: July 6, 2014, 6:39 pm

Don’t drink all that much, but I am far from averse to Newcastle. Mind you, I am more than glad we Yanks [in my case a Yank of Chinese ancestry], to quote the Newcastle commercial, “kicked your arses”. But looking back; with a better King, and a political class that did not reflect our own here today; all y’all may have figured out that giving each colony a single seat in Parliament [and remembering how corrupt Parliamentary elections were/are] that you may have kept a lid on things. At least for a while.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: July 6, 2014, 11:25 pm

We could have ended up with Canada from the North Pole to the Guatemalan border (the existence of Mexico is thoroughly superfluous and clearly not a good thing).

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: July 7, 2014, 10:03 pm

One of the interesting details of history that often gets forgotten, is that in the Mexican/American war of 1846 -1848, American troops foolishly conquered Mexico, including control of the capital, Mexico City. Hooray! shouted all the Mexicans! We gonna become Americans!” “Not so damn fast!” replied the Americans. It was touch and go for a while, but eventually America managed to wiggle loose, keeping only the good parts in the (now) states of New Mexico, Utah, Nevada, Arizona, California, Texas, and western Colorado, and forcing Mexico to keep the rest, like it or not. This is why Americans celebrate Cinco de Mayo every year. Some historians argue that America should have kept Cancun but the resort wasn’t all that in those days.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: July 8, 2014, 12:32 am

…It was touch and go for a while, but eventually America managed to wiggle loose, keeping only the good parts…

Unfortunately, of course, recent history has been that Certain Peepuls (read: “Liberal,Progressive” morons, both North and South of the [now-often-mostly-alleged]Border) have been striving mightily to rethink/rework/obviate that decision and its accompanying “wiggle-loose”…and gradually succeeding, as the “lower 48” U.S.of A. now plays general host-held-hostage to more Mexican citizens (read: “illegal aliens”- or, as many/most of those Certain Peepuls would prefer it, “undocumented migrants”) than most individual Mexican States/Provinces/whateveryouwannacall’ems.

Maybe we should annex the wholedamnjoint, after all – at least then, we’d have some suitably mostly-uninhabited territory to which we could require they transport and in which we could demand they summarily deposit all those “wetbacks” the ICE, et.al. are currently trying to “process” (read: finish playing “catch-and-release-with-written-warnings-to-show-up-later-for-a-hearing”).

Get that done (“You wanted in the U.S.? Hokay – as of now, Sonora, etc., is “in” the U.S. Happy now? No? Then – go home!! Git!!”), and we’d be halfway there, y’know? Start rounding-up the other twelve or fifteen million or so, and doing likewise with them, and we’d be well on the way…Then, after we get ’em all back South Of The Border, we just un-annex the joint; either that, or sic the combined might of the IRS, the NSA and the Mormon door-to-door recruiters on ’em, and they’d be begging to be let go back to being “Old Me-hee-co” in nothing flat, right?

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