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The plain of bones

Ladies and gentlemen, the British Deer Society (I really wanted a BDS t-shirt, for reasons I didn’t care to explain to them).

The sign says something like “for display only — these deer were killed in traffic accidents or died of old age” or something like that.

I have to tell you, though — for an animal advocacy group, they displayed an awful lot of dead bits of their favorite ungulate. Including bits that were for sale.

I offered to buy Uncle B a deer-hoof door handle, but he inexplicably declined…


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 22, 2018, 10:24 pm

For cosmic balance, one might figure out how to carve a road-kill deer leg bone into one of those little deer warning whistles to put on your bumper.

I don’t know about that deer hoof door handle, but the right piece of antler would make a dandy toilet flush lever.

Comment from ea in ga
Time: August 23, 2018, 12:05 am

We are some of the only people who don’t hunt around here and the deer have figured this out. They all tend to hang around our house. I can only grow onions and some herbs. Every thing else is eaten up. Do you guys have a lot of deer too?

I wouldn’t mind those little muntjac deer-kind of look like vampires -very cool.

Comment from F X Muldoon
Time: August 23, 2018, 12:13 pm

I offered to buy Uncle B a deer-hoof door handle, but he inexplicably declined…

Maybe if you offered him a gun rack or bottle opener ?

I guess since shooting irons are verboten on your side of the pond, maybe if you nailed a deer with a car, you could use the rack to hold the bumper.

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: August 23, 2018, 12:27 pm

I’ve seen six shooter door handles. They look pretty cool. They have them for cars, too.

Comment from DurnedYankee
Time: August 23, 2018, 3:11 pm

We have to sell those parts! It’s not cheap getting the lorry repaired after we’ve bumped one of those deer….

I’ve probably said too much haven’t I.

I just thought of the attachment for the next comment….

Comment from DurnedYankee
Time: August 23, 2018, 3:24 pm

Now this….this is a bottle opener….

Fortunately ( I suspect ) I couldn’t find the really rude butt mount that I’ve actually seen hereabouts.


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 23, 2018, 4:59 pm

@DurnedYankee – I am 69 years old, and I thought that it would be impossible to show me anything that would exceed in tackiness anything I’ve ever seen. Congratulations!

I would (almost) like to have one of those bottle openers for the sole purpose of seeing the expression on the face of a particular acquaintance of mine when opening my Christmas present to him. Heh-heh-heh!

Comment from DurnedYankee
Time: August 23, 2018, 5:26 pm

@Uncle – well, the one I’ve actually seen had two hooves mounted as handles and the back end was…well…it would have exceeded the tackiness of the bottle opener, let’s just say that.
I probably would have chickened out had I actually FOUND a link to a photo, which on reflection, is fortunate I could not.
This sort of thing is why the expression “added insult to injury” was coined.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 23, 2018, 9:44 pm

Do you mean deer butt taxidermy? Sweasel’s got you covered, fam.

We do have a deer problem hereabouts. Not down here, but not far away, nearer the woods. Those little muntjac skulls are terrifying.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 24, 2018, 12:03 am

How have I lived this long and am finding out only now that there’s
a whole movement behind taxidermized animal anus art?

(All puns intended)

Comment from DurnedYankee
Time: August 24, 2018, 1:04 am

“We do have a deer problem hereabouts”

North of where I grew up, there are deer – whitetails – common weight 100-200 lbs (not sterling) (male/female). In the town of Ipswich there are a lot of the little buggers, because Masswachusetts frowns upon hunting God’s little deer (and pretty much anything else because GUNZZZZZZZZZZZ!”). As a result they get to the point where they over populate and starve and they have to hire specialists to cull them. That’s a nice way of saying they bring in guys with guns and shoot them like they do during deer season here in Texas.
Starving deer, not a pretty sight. Yet it happens regularly because “awwwwww, Bambi!”.
That’s a deer problem.

Locally, it’s the damned feral hogs because everything but people are too smart to mess with them.

Comment from DurnedYankee
Time: August 24, 2018, 3:23 pm

Since it seems you haven’t had this sort of thing since 2015 I cut and pasted it from the animal anusdermy thread.

“Everything is very open with a precise clarification of the issues.
It was truly informative. Your site is extremely helpful.
Many thanks for sharing!”

Comment from shell shockers
Time: November 2, 2018, 10:24 am

The image of the skulls of the animals is very impressive.

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