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Stalking the BBC

Brian: Excuse me. Are you the Judean People’s Front?
Reg: Fuck off! We’re the People’s Front of Judea

Reg: If you want to join the People’s Front of Judea, you have to really hate the Romans.
Brian: I do!
Reg: Oh yeah, how much?
Brian: A lot!
Reg: Right, you’re in.


However bad our media is, the BBC is shockingly worse. Smug, bitter, anti-West, pro-just-about-anything-else — I swear, they work “George Bush is stupid” jokes into the cooking program. It’s like swimming through a leftoid fever dream.

Brits are required to fund the BBC by paying a hefty annual license fee. A colo(u)r TV license currently stands at £135.50 annually, which is…$278.14627 per today’s exchange rate. Free if you’re old, half price if you’re blind (I guess they figure blind people aren’t using the video portion. Maybe they recycle it).

Having ‘customers’ that are forced to pay up whether they like your product or not is bad, m’kay? Brits of the conservative persuasion (a small, angry tribe) are justly furious at the BBC’s clear ideological bent, but they have no recourse. Being stuck in a situation they are utterly helpless to change makes people mad, and mad is going to spill onto the web.

The best blog tracking the BBC was Biased BBC. I’ve read it for a couple of years, but it’s been going for five. In my time, there wasn’t a whole lot of action in the main posts; the good stuff was in the comments. An open thread there will typically run for a couple of hundred comments, most by good and conscientious regular commenters. Trollage was minor.

Sweet deal, huh? An excellent, popular blog that writes its own damn self…?

I guess not. Someone with a set of keys decided to impose a little authoritay on the place. Have you ever seen someone get hold of the moderating stick and go nuts? It’s an ugly scene. It’s like a blood frenzy. It starts with “off topic” posts and naturally moves to the posts that complain about the deletions, and then to any complaints and settles into a cranky, arbitrary, uneasy place, where no-one knows quite where they stand. For a blog that relies so heavily on commenters, it was a suicidally arrogant act.

This happened when I was away at Weaselfest last week, so I didn’t see it in realtime. I’m not a contributor there, anyhow. A faithful reader, but the BBC is not (yet) imposed on me by force, so I seldom have much to add. But that alpha wolf shit really gets my knickers in a twist, so I pulled my link (that’s right — offa my blogroll! They’ll rue the day they angered a weasel. Rue, I say!)

I repeat: Being stuck in a situation they are utterly helpless to change makes people mad, and mad is going to spill onto the web. A couple of different schismatic sites sprang up and fizzled. One looks like it’s got the right attitude and is going to stick: BBC-Biased — Exposing the bias of the BBC.

Keep an eye on it. It’s picked up several of the better commenters from the old site, and will undoubtedly pick up more when word gets out (it’s hard to leave a breadcrumb trail in a place where posts disappear).

I’ll even put it on my blogroll (my blogroll!) if I can remember where I left the keys…


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2007, 9:27 am

See, if the BBC were totally dreadful, no-one would watch it. It would be annoying to pay the license fee, but otherwise harmless. What makes it insidious is that much of its programming is very good. Steeped in bias, but well-written and beautifully produced (all that “Masterpiece Theater” stuff we get is just recycled broadcast TV from the UK).

There is some commercial TV and radio, but it’s all competing for the lowest common denominator. Dreadful stuff, mostly.

So if you’ve got a functioning braincell and you want to watch TV or listen to the radio, you’re pretty much stuck. I drift along listening to Radio 4 and let out a yelp whenever I unexpectedly run up against a Labour talking point.

Eh. I’m still a consumer of NPR. Similar dealie.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 20, 2007, 10:18 am

Yep. NPR.

NPR is one of those tough calls for me – an avowed I-will-not-watch-left-biased-shit person.

Nova is usually so damned good…I have to kinda grit my teeth when I watch it , knowing “who” I’m watching, that is.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2007, 10:36 am

Hey, here’s a couple of fun, cruel things I just found:

Famous men, then and now and
Famous women, how they’ve aged

Look at every third picture to skip to the side-by-side. Not surprisingly, the men fared better than the women. What surprised me, though, was how rumpled many of the men looked in the before shot.

You could also retitle these “Famous people: who do photographers really hate?” or “Hollywood celebrities: whose plastic surgeon doesn’t suck?”

Yes I’m at work. I’m burning CD’s, which is supremely boring.

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: July 20, 2007, 11:17 am

Raquel Welch has held up / plastic surgeried remarkably well. I’m surprised they didn’t do one of Joan Rivers then and now.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2007, 11:21 am

Yipe! Haha…seeing her appear with her older-looking (but still human-looking) daughter is a trip. I suppose she’ll loosen up with time. Mary Tyler Moore looks like a creepy waxwork, too — shoot, she married her plastic surgeon.

But Charo never changes. Brrrrr…

Comment from SP
Time: July 20, 2007, 12:01 pm

S. Weasel wrote “See, if the BBC were totally dreadful, no-one would watch it. ”

If you are forced to pay for it why not when it also gets the privilege of channels 1 & 2 ?

At the end of the day alot of people refuse to pay (including me) for it and the TVL can’t touch them because we know they have no real power

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: July 20, 2007, 12:11 pm

MTM! She was quite the looker in her day too. I can’t hardly think of her being married to anybody but Dick Van Dyke tho.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2007, 12:12 pm

Oh ho! A real, live dissenter! And they really aren’t able to do anything to you? Do they really do that thing with the billboards?

I’ll poke around your site when I’m off the boss’ dime.

Comment from Dawn
Time: July 20, 2007, 12:14 pm

I can’t believe you think those old men held up better than the women. I thought the women (exception Nasty Rosie O.) were all aging beautifully. Some of them looked even better (Bette Midler) and Sally Fields is just too gorgeous!

Comment from Lokki
Time: July 20, 2007, 12:58 pm

Weasel –

Didn’t I have a post in this thread earlier? It would be ironic if my post got removed in this particular post.

Or maybe my bad haiku finally reached the annoying point?

Comment from porkthebean
Time: July 20, 2007, 1:02 pm

In regards to having to pay for the BBC, whether you want to or not….what city in the states just recently passed a table scraps recycling fee? They won’t police to make sure you use it, but you have to pay it whether you eat or not.

Hmmm…Tom Selleck still looks good. Supports the NRA too, which means his man bits are intact. Man bits are important if Hollywood types want my admiration. Bruce Willis actually looks hotter in all of his balding glory.

Clint Eastwood has turned into the Cryptkeeper and Richard Gere still has that smug-I-have-a-hamster-up-my-bum look to him. Pffft. Ladies. The lot of them.

I do agree that Welch and Charo have held up well. Suzanne Somers actually looks better.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2007, 1:03 pm

Nnnnoooo…there’s nothing caught in the spam filter but some ass porn (I guess I asked for that). And I can assure you I haven’t deleted anything (I don’t know how annoying you’d have to get for me to biff a post, but it would probably involve giving me a disease and not telling me).

Maybe you stuck it in another thread by mistake?

Comment from Lokki
Time: July 20, 2007, 1:36 pm

Perhaps after I wrote it (I actually had to do some work this morning) I never posted it. Too bad. It was quite clever, complaining about NPR’s subconcious bias and it included a link at the big scandal at the Beeb…..

Ya’all just have to imagine how witty and informative it was.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2007, 1:42 pm

See, that’s why you have to write comments in Notepad and copy ’em across. That way, you never lose a glistening literary jewel.

Speaking of jewels, I’m trying to figure out what I accomplished with that graphic. It started out as a plume of smoke, but I ‘shopped it to be more symmetrical. Now that I look at it, it looks like an Evil Cauliflower.
A Very Bad Broccoli. Squid ink. A pictorial representation of an especially potent fart.

Hey, I’m working fast here…

Comment from porkthebean
Time: July 20, 2007, 2:04 pm

There once was a plume of smoke
That looked like a fart, what a joke
But it was rage boy engaged
in his anger quite staged
Whose head just finally broke.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 20, 2007, 2:06 pm

Don’t worry Lokki – I’m convinced it was the best comment yet written by man or beast. I’m still marveling – mainly because I marvel well and am out of practice.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2007, 2:08 pm

Also, he’s hopped up on goofballs.

Comment from porkthebean
Time: July 20, 2007, 2:09 pm

Hey McGoo,
How are you doing? Are you walking around?

Comment from Lokki
Time: July 20, 2007, 2:19 pm

Thanks McGoo… I’ll take any compliment I can get…. have another goofball!

dat ‘ol pill she my best friend yet
percocet, percocet
you forgets what you got cause o’ the smiles you gets

When you take dat pill, dey ain’t nuthin’ wrong
dis ol’ world could end, and I’d just be singin’ dis song

dat ‘ol pill she my best friend yet
percocet, percocet
you forgets what you got cause o’ the smiles you gets

Weasel – I particularly like that wet looking bubble coming out of the right side of the fart could… such realism!~

Comment from Dawn
Time: July 20, 2007, 2:55 pm

You might want to turn down the sound, but this was one of my favorite bands in high school.


I killed my television.

Comment from Dawn
Time: July 20, 2007, 3:12 pm

All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

Comment from Shuko
Time: July 20, 2007, 4:09 pm

Monopolizing my TV,
Such a fine company to be!
They’ll violate rears
With grins ‘twixt their ears
Gem of cartels, fair BBC.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 20, 2007, 4:48 pm

Okay, Lokki, NOW I have one from you in the spam filter. Why the filter hates you, I do not know. Per the time stamp, I don’t think it was the original one. Anyway, I’m going to kick it loose….

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 20, 2007, 5:16 pm

Lokki, there was a time when the spam filter hated me, too. This, too, will pass.

And I REALLY liked the pecocet poem! I printed it out so’s I can read it whenever I want.

Beanporker – took your advice about keeping the colon loose whilst abusing these perc’s. You was right and saved me a – um, well, lets be honest – a shitload of grunting. Everything’s silk. And I have so-enjoyed playing the “Air Colon” from time to time. Quite basso-profundo!

I’m walking wid a walker – but not for long. I’m starting to support my weight on my legs. This could not be going better, folks. I am so friggin’ pleased…

And I still have plenty of percocets left – for later, when the muse is upon me. I shall save them. Then I shall give Lokki and others a run for their money in the muse department. We’ll see what this Titanium Knob will do.

Comment from Lokki
Time: July 20, 2007, 5:53 pm

McGoo The titanium Dick Cheney of Haiku poets.

Thinks Hmmmm. Has kind of a ring to it, eh?

Oh, and before I forget:
Spam filter I defy thee!

Comment from Dawn
Time: July 20, 2007, 6:06 pm

Sometimes I have to fight the urge to talk like a pirate….and I haven’t done opiates in years.

Comment from Lokki
Time: July 20, 2007, 6:19 pm


In my experience, it may only seem like years since you stopped doing opiates.

There’s something about a day without a poppy that seems longer somehow.

Just sayin’

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: July 20, 2007, 6:20 pm

Opiates – they’re not just for breakfast anymore. They make ’em fairly mellow now, with all sorts of vitamins and minerals already inside. Even a stool softener. And they’re all chock-full of hallucinatory goodness, too, to give you that special edge during competitive moments.

Comment from porkthebean
Time: July 20, 2007, 6:35 pm

*hitches up britches*
Yep. Glad I could help. Can’t have you blowing out yer new knob and all. (With mom, not sure how hard she tried to lube them, but she preferred the pain to stuck bowels.)

Comment from archduke
Time: July 20, 2007, 9:25 pm

hey thanks weasel for linking to my (new) blog. much obliged.
i’ve linked back to you in return.

and if anyone wants to talk about the BBC feel free to stop by my blog – my comments are unmoderated (well, except for spam and utter wanker trolls) – so feel free to comment away without restrictions.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 21, 2007, 7:29 am

Oh, hey, archduke. My pleasure. I wish you well. B-BBC was a daily stop for me.

I’m also a connoiseur of internet meltdowns and moderators gone wild 🙂

Comment from archduke
Time: July 22, 2007, 4:42 pm

the moderators gone wild + meltdown was something else alright. i think it will go down in internet history. but i hold no grudges – two anti-bbc blogs are better than just the one. and if we both get the traffic levels up on both , then thats twice the impact. but still, moderators gone wild really gets on my libertarian goat.

Comment from BONGO MIRROR
Time: July 25, 2007, 1:11 pm

Hmmm. Hmmm. Double hmmm. I go away for an extended weekend and my RSS reader puts things in the wrong order and all is in chaos and uncomfortable annoyance. Oh well. I’m commenting here because I have no opinion on the content of this post and I feel it is best to write about things without any practical knowledge of the subject matter at hand.

I don’t watch TV. I don’t pay for TV. My experience with TV is that I used to hang about on a BBS called TV and by odd coincidence the place was a haven for transvestites. It wasn’t founded for that purpose. The transvestites were quite reasonable people. The place was a fair bit of fun.

The thing that I like to do (when I feel like I have time for it) is tell the TV sales beings that phone my house pointing out that I don’t have TV is to tell them that I don’t like the letters in their company names and that if they’d be willing to change their company name, I’d be willing to pay for a service that I wouldn’t use.

Comment from Gordon Thomas
Time: September 27, 2007, 9:36 am

Thanks for the Support Weasel-drop us a line to give an American view on things

Cheers BBC Biased

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