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Pff! You call THAT a quicker picker upper?

A cow orker from the Olde Countree recently visited me here at Badger Acres (first time I’ve heard an American accent not on TV in a year and a half). She asked me before she left if there was anything I wanted from home.

A couple rolls of Bounty paper towels, of course.

Plain white. Select-a-size.

They have Bounty here. Kinda. The Swedish company SCA bought the brand from Proctor and Gamble a few years back, then prompty rebranded it Plenty, proving once again that the only people who don’t get the whole “branding” thing are people who spend millions of dollars to buy up brands.

I’d never tried limey Bounty before, so I decided to splash out for a two-pack (thank you, Uncle B) just to see how it compares. I have to admit, the thirst pockets are quite acceptable. It is, however, three inches shorter and (it goes without saying) much skinnier. And you can just fuck right off if you think you can buy select-a-size.

These aren’t for the kitchen, of course. Too precious. I use them in my studio and honestly don’t know how Rembrandt could paint a damn thing without them.

The kind of towels we buy for the wiping of counters — they call it “kitchen roll” here — are store brand. An inch shorter still than Plenty, and I can blow a nostril bomb right through them, no problemo.

What, lame. You kidding? This is vintage Weasel. Second time I’ve posted on this topic.


Comment from mongo
Time: April 20, 2010, 11:32 pm

I don’t know how you can paint without a Costco nearby, or a Lowe’s. I’d go freaking nuts. If I don’t have a 40 count pack of paper towels in the house fuggetaboutit.

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: April 20, 2010, 11:38 pm

You know, I’m a super duper high Medallion member so I have buttloads of extra luggage and weight I can bring over. You want I should bring you more Bounty? Gives me more room to buy junk!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 20, 2010, 11:43 pm

I’m actually cool for Bounty, Mrs C. I just asked so my friend could feel warm and fuzzy about bringing me some.

What I did was, use rolls of paper towels as packing materials for some of my stuff.

I’ll have a think, though. I had expected to go back to the States by now, so there must be some stuff I’m running out of.

Comment from XBradTC
Time: April 20, 2010, 11:52 pm

Look, Bounty is all fine and all that, but it may have some negative connotations there, mutiny and what.

As for paper towels themselves, I’ve long been a fan of the blue paper shop towels. They work better, and last longer. Hell, you can throw the in the wash with your clothes.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: April 21, 2010, 12:00 am

Let me know, I have plenty of room for stuff.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 21, 2010, 12:26 am

I’ve got a roll of shop towels I brought over, XBrad. They’re fabulous. Sadly, they aren’t much use in the studio because they’re blue. You really need plain white for painting purposes.

There was a towel I was getting in the States that had the shop towel cottony texture, but in a kitchen paper towel. I thought it was Bounty, but clearly not. I’ll have some in my stockpile; I’ll check it out.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: April 21, 2010, 12:28 am

After a year and a half…I’d probably be ready to commit crimes to get my hands on some REAL messican food.

Comment from Elphaba
Time: April 21, 2010, 12:43 am

I have a friend who moved to London about 4 years ago. When we’ve visited, she’s asked for things like tampons, Thai Seasoning, and Mexican-style stewed tomatoes. According to this friend, the ice cream in Merry Old England sucks pretty hard, too. However, Mrs. C. smuggling Ben & Jerry’s into the country would raise some eyebrows, when the luggage starts to leak. 😉

Comment from Formally known as prints
Time: April 21, 2010, 1:35 am

Quite an absorbing story. You were on a roll there for a while.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: April 21, 2010, 1:53 am

I think I know which one you mean, I use them when I paint but haven’t pick up a brush in years, tho I did just build a paint holder for all 2 bazillion of them! I think it’s Vivid. Next time I’m at the market I’ll tear open a roll and feel it. I have some here but there is nothing on it that denotes what brand. But I’m pretty sure that’s it.

Comment from Og
Time: April 21, 2010, 1:55 am

I can imagine the boardroom presentation… Storch, “You see Sir, we will actually sell MORE rolls by allowing the consumer to use SMALLER sheets.” (Vice Presidents chuckle quietly) CEO, “You know Storch, that idea is so crazy it just might work!” (Vice Presidents exchange worried looks…)

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: April 21, 2010, 1:55 am

We were on transatlantic cruise a couple of years ago and they nearly mutinied over the lack of US ice cream. Sheesh the joy is in the journey, not making your home come with you!! ‘cept when it involves paper towels!

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: April 21, 2010, 2:04 am

They didn’t have zip-locks in Norway ’til recently. My son’s MIL used to carefully wash and reuse any she managed to get ‘hold of, which made me feel kind of guilty since I just throw mine away. 🙂

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: April 21, 2010, 2:09 am

Oh, and I can’t wait to find out what my son and DIL want me to bring with me when I go to Norge this summer…last time he wanted toothpaste (Crest) and deodorant. I know she wants me to make up a bunch of jewelry and bring it, but there will probably be lots of other stuff, too. I’ve never been abroad before, so I can’t take extra like Mrs. Compton.

Okay, I’ve been a broad for quite a number of years, but not in Europe.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: April 21, 2010, 3:03 am

Who are you flying with Nina? Check the airlines baggage limits, you might be surprised what you can bring. Another thought is since you have an address that you’re going to that you can trust, you could always send your clothes on ahead and pack goodies in your bag to bring. Or… not bring any clothes just bring goodies and buy new clothes!

Comment from MrCaniac
Time: April 21, 2010, 3:35 am

I believe the reason why the rolls are smaller is because the paper towels are metric paper towels. In the US we have standard sizes.

Comment from Lipstick
Time: April 21, 2010, 3:48 am

Viva has/had a great cloth-like texture. Haven’t seen it in years, though.

Comment from iamfelix
Time: April 21, 2010, 5:42 am

How you fixed for mayo?

Comment from Mark T
Time: April 21, 2010, 9:25 am

Staples I beg visiting Mericans to haul: Liquid Smoke, Mapleine, Celery Seed, Peanut Butter M&M’s, Wal-Mart 500 count bottles of aspirin, Crystal Lite, Ranch Dressing packets. One of the Most Wonderful Merican treasures I found and brought back: a silicone baking pan, which I rolled up and stuck in my suitcase, for making Angel Food Cakes. Mmm! Mrs C–what part of the UK are you visiting?

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: April 21, 2010, 11:35 am

Puzzled about the ice cream comments. You can get Ben and Jerry’s almost anywhere in teh UK. If you buy the rubbish brands they are mostly whipped vegetable fat, sugar and boiled puppy brains – but that’s probably true anywhere.

In fact, at risk of starting a war, B&J isn’t even one of the best brands. Some of the smaller makers (we’re quite fond of Salcombe Farm) are almost as good as home made… but only almost 😉

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: April 21, 2010, 3:03 pm

YES, Lipstick, that’s the brand! I can still find it here in Florida.

Mark, I’m coming into London to spend a few days, then we are off to Paris for a few days, then we are back to Dover to pick up a cruise. After the cruise we are spending two days in Kent to do some looking around. If you need some supplies I’ll be happy to help out.

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: April 21, 2010, 3:06 pm

Uncle B, that’s the ice cream we had on our cruise. It really was vile. There was such an uproar they flew in ice cream for the ship and we picked it up in the Bahamas!!! Really was comedic. You would see these kids walking around with their ice cream in orgasmic afterglow!!! Pathetic really.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 21, 2010, 4:37 pm

There’s a class of fake dairy products here — ice cream, coffee creamer — that’s made with whipped vegetable fat. Sounds like you got hold of that. If we had the equivalent in the States, I never ran across — except maybe in the middle of a Twinkie or something.

A lot of those things you couldn’t get when I first started coming here, you can now. Ziplocs, for example.

Comment from Lipstick
Time: April 21, 2010, 4:56 pm

Mrs. Compton, ooo, a cruise, yippee! Which line are you going on and where, if I may ask?

I love to cruise and will also be passing through the U.K. (i.e., land at Heathrow and transfer directly to pier) to catch a Silversea cruise of the Baltic Sea in June.

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: April 21, 2010, 5:32 pm

We are doing the Disney Magic.. to the Baltic as well!! We arrive in the UK June 24.

Comment from Orphal
Time: April 21, 2010, 5:38 pm

Is Bronco bog-roll still around? For some reason that’s been bugging me for years, not that I’ve tried googling or anything. I wouldn’t use it either. Bloody awful stuff.

Comment from JuliaM
Time: April 21, 2010, 6:03 pm

Puzzled about the ice-cream issue too, almost every large supermarket (and some of the little stores) stock B&J – which I’ve never cared for, with the exception of the new macadamia nut crunch – but they often also do their own brand stuff and of course Hagen Daz, which is to die for. Though you can’t seem to get their macadamia nut one lately… 🙁

Comment from porknbean
Time: April 21, 2010, 6:48 pm

In fact, at risk of starting a war, B&J isn’t even one of the best brands.

Smelly hippies.

Haagen Daz. Hands down. Only a handful of real ingredients.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: April 21, 2010, 10:26 pm

Speaking of smelly hippies, I did like B&J’s Cherry Garcia, but they don’t do that as an ice cream any longer – just some yoghurt filth with the same name.

The real hoot about the caring sharing B&J is that they sold the business to Unilever – as feelthy capitalists as there ever was!

Comment from Mark T
Time: April 21, 2010, 11:55 pm

Thanks, Mrs C–very kind of you. A daughter of a friend is coming with her college roommate next month, and they’re bringing some USA goodies. Should you have extra time in London and care for a cup of tea–or a pint!–let me know. I know lots of skeenic places.

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: April 22, 2010, 4:17 am

We would love to Mark! Our first day is probably the best day for us. We are heading out to Oxford and Greenwich the other two days we have free then our friends are showing up and it’s go go go go go. UGH. Her daughter is bringing a friend who has never been to London so she wants to show her EVERYTHING in the 3 days we have left there! I bet if you send your email to Ms Stoaty she will pass it on to me and then we can firm up plans!

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