sweasel.com

Peggy Noonan’s complaint is that, after seven weeks on the campaign trail, she still doesn’t know all that much about Palin’s philosophy. Yeah, Peggy — that’s because Sarah’s not the nominee. The VP isn’t supposed to promote her own philosophy. She’s the second; her job is to promote the nominee’s philosophy. And John McCain is probably the least Republican Republican we’ve ever run, so what’s she supposed to do?

In every case we get a sense of Sarah’s underlying differences with her boss (drilling in ANWR is the biggest), she’s right and he’s wrong. But she’s not supposed to let that shit sneak out, okay?

Jesus. The stupidity of clever people never ceases to rankle.

Every day of the week, chatty Joe Biden utters a thing so shockingly stupid it makes milk come out of Dan Quayle’s nose.

And Dan doesn’t even drink milk. Now that’s some hardcore stupid.

I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I’m sorry. I can’t go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me.

Like, THAT stupid.

At least you know how I got to the Museum of Condiments yesterday.

Incidentally, I’ve always loved the idea that John “Snooty McSnooterson” Kerry’s lavish lifestyle was funded by ketchup. Lowly, declassé ketchup. Everytime I see somebody slather that shit on scrambled eggs I think, “oh, yeah. That’s the stuff.”

Actually, I think the term ketchup is the high class version. The low class version being catsup.

I was kind of thinking it was the other way around, Wendy. But I’m not a consumer of ketchup. It tastes okay, I just find it utterly overwhelms the flavor of whatever you put it on.

The exception being, if you catch yourself with a bunch of shrimp and no cocktail sauce (and who doesn’t, from time to time?), the best emergency improvisation is ketchup, horseradish and fresh squeezed lemon. MmmmMmmm!

Hashbrowns with ketchup is a really wonderful hangover cure

Catsup on navy beans isn’t bad, either. At least, not to my plebeian tastes.

Another source of dislike for Ms. Palin among females, the ones that think themselves hawt, or wish they were: jealousy. The insecure ones really don’t like her at all. They may not be vocal about it but the antipathy is there.

Disclaimer: Not sayin’ that all hawt womenfolks are that way. Nope, not sayin’ that at all.

Y’all are makin’ me hungry for a fried elitist on a bun with loads o’ ketchup. And I live where the best ketchup is borned, too…

http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~njm1/HeinzPlant-NorthSide.jpg

Good god, Jill! Food comes out of a Dickensian nightmare factory like that brick pile? Brrrr.

That’s a pretty old postcard, Wease.
Here… http://www.heinz.com/our-company/about-heinz/history.aspx

I know, it just looks like a place where orphans starve to death bottling condiments for their betters.

Well, I don’t care, I llke Heinz tomato ketchup.

It goes really well with worm pie.

shhhhh…be quiet about the starving orphans…would that it were!!

🙂

F*ckin’ A! 🙂

I want to be Sarah Palin when I grow up.

I sorta thought catsup/ketchup was a regional thing, which isn’t to say that it isn’t correlated with class in some way.

If it is a class thing, I would think “catsup” would be the higher class thing to say.

Alas, I’m a “ketchup” guy. And a Pennsylvanian, so I’m required by law to prefer Heinz.

Hey, don’t sweat it Weasel, you’re emigrating to a country that has institutionalized alma mater. Something about peerage, I think.

I received a letter from an old school friend recently who is listed, or some such. His maternal grandfather was the Marquess of Something, which makes me think of an old British dude in drag. 🙂

Ketchup on beans, Gnus? Blech. Everybody knows you put mayonnaise on beans.

Philistine.

That was me.

How’d you like to live in The Cereal Building? 🙂

http://www.pghlofts.com/ForRent/Heinz-Lofts/Heinz%20Lofts.htm

Second-raters is absolutely right. Ivy Leaguers invariably wind up working for other people—the ones with the guts and smarts to actually start companies or otherwise make something happen in this world. So who’s really earned bragging rights, the guy who went to State U., founded a business, worked his butt off and made millions, or the guy who’s got the right credentials and a trust fund? Tough call, isn’t it? Of course, the Yale guy spends his work days in disbelief that he works for morons.

Wow, rents are cheap in Pittsburgh. I haven’t been a renter in a while, but I gather it’s not easy finding an apartment under $1,200.

Heinz? Pfffft. I prefer Hunts.

Weaz – I love it when you go on a rant!

You rant so eloquently – and without the ten-dollar words the ivy-league asshats display like some kind of strange, peacock mating plumage.

When you use a ten-buck’er – you USE it, rather than “display” it.

’tis true McGoo. Oooo that sorta rhymes. Hey, when is the last time you’ve heard the word “lugubrious” used in perfect context, and so fitting?

Nope, Wease. It’s actually pretty easy to find a nice place in a decent neighborhood for a lot less than that.

Like I said, Allen: when Stoaty uses a $10 word, it’s because its precisely the right word to use – usually for more than one reason.

Weaz is like the Bene Gesserit: Plans within plans within plans… and mucho super powers, too!

For some reason, the word “lugubrious” always calls to mind that greasy feeling one has walking out of a proctological exam.

I think we can all relate to “loquacious” at times. (me especially)

I want more words like “groovitude” and “magnitudinous”.

I also want to go home now.

I have always wondered why it was always okay to make fun of Redneck America, or any other part of America that was not as sophistocated or refined as the metropolitan areas. Why can’t Middle America be proud of who and what they are? Why must they be parodied and looked down upon by all and sundry?

I love the pride Little Big Town shows in their origins:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0bUCL3tFgk

Snooty people really turn me off. They’re no better or worse than the rubes they so openly despise.

Also: I always thought “lugubrious” meant something like “glib”. Shows how much I know.

I wonder how often I can edit before someone catches me.

Wouldn’t it be fun to type something, have someone respond, then go and edit it to make it say exactly the opposite? Hmmmmm…with that thinking I should be a politician.

I think we have a new word based on JW’s and Musli’s interpretation. 🙂

Lubecurious: That greasy feeling that you get from not questioning how you are just getting ready to be screwed by a politician.

Allen, ‘lubecurious’ kinda makes me think of someone wanting to try an alternate sexual…um…thingamabob.

Like you said…

ick.

Good god, Jill! Food comes out of a Dickensian nightmare factory like that brick pile? Brrrr.

Right. I bet they send cockney children with rickets up those chimneys too.

‘Carcinogens? Carcinogens? If you don’t get yourself up that chimney by the count of three, my boy, I’ll take my belt off and give you a good hiding!’

Jill and JW, I give you, Bailout! Economic Stimulus Plan!

yeah, Allen, “Bailout! Economic Stimulus Plan!” certainly sound lubecurious to me.

And not in Jill’s icky way, either. My icky way.

Lubecurious?

Is that like “I am curious – lubed”.

Booo……

Lubecurious we,
With vaseline everywhere
Ready for action!

There was once a lubecurious chap
Whose lugubrious mood caused a flap
Some called him loquacious
But he was quite efficacious
In slipping to others the crap.

Lugubrious loquacious we,
Excitedly went on a spree,
Big words we employed,
Til Weez we annoyed,
‘Scuse, please–I gotta go pee.

/I know, crappy last line. My uvula’s on the fritz.

Musli, I actually take great pride in being a redneck.

Q: How many Oregonians does it take to eat possum?
A: Three. One to eat and two to watch for cars.

And your post-reversal… that’s pure evil thinking. You could do a political campaign a real benefit with that kind of advice (hint hint wink wink nudge nudge).

At best, Allen, “lubecurious” sounds like a deviant mechanic. At best.

Just saw your doggerel, McGoo. How’s the blood sugar today?

🙂

Oops. Just slipped you crap there, didn’t I? When you figger out what lubecurious means, let me know and then I can decide whether to be prickly about it or laugh my ass off.

Y’all, funny stuff, no hilarious. 🙂

Gotta go to the county fair. Hi, Mr. judge Allen! Ooof.

LK, never ask about detonation mechanics or what a Detonation Mechanic does, 🙂

Tune baby, tune.

I have a confession to make.

I… I…

I use the subjunctive mood.

(Am I banned now?)

If only you were.

Well…so be it, Someone.

LK – the BS ( how appropriate that my blood sugar is BS) is good, but goin’ downhill rapidly (up, actually). I just bought a six-pack of Blue Moon Belgian style wheat ale and some fried chicken strips (with fried okra, of course) from the Hot To Trot, or the Bugger ‘N Run, or whatever that gas/grocery place is called in town, and I intend to eat and drink all of it.

I will then groan lugubriously for the rest of the evening.

{edit: one down – five to go}

Actually, I have found that Catsup (hunts, preferably) is great for making a crust on Meatloaf. I mix equal amounts of Beef and Buffalo, add a finely blended mix of Red Bell Pepper, Italian croutons, sun dried tomato, onion and Garlic, Form it, wrap it liberally in thick applewood smoked bacon, and smear a nice coating of Catsup over the meat to prevent burning. Always works well for me…..

The only things I have cooked are instant pasta, soup, and frying paratha. Mom refuses to teach me how to cook, and becomes aghast if I said I’ll teach myself. (I once made daal, which Mom and Dad and everyone said was good. When Mom made the exact same thing right after me, it became clear they were fibbing. Mine was horrible!)

Y’all’re anti-cooking-ignorant, I say!

On that note: I have ketchup only on hot dogs and maybe burgers. But then plain hot dogs (without condiments) are quite good too.

Loving the packed-up weasel gfx.

Ketchup has its uses. Put lots of ketchup on haggis and haggis tastes just like meatloaf with lots of ketchup. Weasel might find this information useful, depending on where in England she settles.

ketchup, bleh. It contains vinegar, and is therefore on the List of Foods Shunned By Peel.

How about lubricious, guys? I like that word.

(um…I typed that before I looked it up [I like the sound of it]. That’s, um, definitely not how I feel about politicians.)

If the good lord intended a Haggis to taste like meatloaf he’d have made sheep’s good n’ plenty outta hamburger.

The DSB is doing yoga while watching Gary Oldman’s ‘Dracula’.
I’m listening to same while surfing them intertubes.

Keanu Reeves is such a horrendously bad actor it makes my teeth hurt.

BTW, 87 octane hit $2.99/gal here today.

Incidentally, I’ve always loved the idea that John “Snooty McSnooterson” Kerry’s lavish lifestyle was funded by ketchup. Lowly, declassé ketchup.

Sort of like how this country is made strong by people like Joe the Plumber.

How ickey!

Keanu Reeves. Plywood.

You be the judge.

Keanu has to appear in films with real actors like Al Pacino and Lawrence Fishburne so nobody notices what waste of oxygen he is.

McGoo, you can make exceptions for Blue Moon. Or Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. Or Sam Adams. Or Henry Weinhard’s. Or Black Rabbit Porter.

I miss beer, dammit.

Mrs. Peel… lubricious. Damn does that ever sound naughty.

Hey. Just looked it up. Hey… HEY… you were tricking me, weren’t you? 🙂

River’s Edge was a good, creepy movie. I don’t remember if Keanu Reeves didn’t suck in it, or if he did suck and it was a good movie all around him.

Why am I up at 3 in the morning? I have a brand new gas boiler! 🙂

It sounds totally weird and different 🙁

Good morning, Weaz!

I, too, like the newest weaselwrap nartwork up there! And the status update! Excellent!

…And, no, I did not manage to drink all six of the Blue Moons. Rats. My tolerance for the shit is just not ever gonna come back.

A new furnace! Cool. I’ve experienced that – the “new” sound that one has to get used to. Speaking of that: I’m now having to turn on the heat in the morning and switch back to A/C around noonish time. Winter is a-coming! You’ll be spending it in Jolly Ol’, mlady!

Now I get to drive into town for my McMuff fix. I call it “Critter time” because I never know what I’ll see along the road out here.

I loved the old furnace. I have steam heat, and the old one hissed and clacked and chuckled to itself. The new one is tiny and efficient and gas, but the radiators simply knock, which makes it sound like someone is walking around the empty house. Brrr.

I’ve just turned it up nice and high to see if I can make it hiss properly. It got down in the THIRTIES here last night, which explains why it came on at all (I had turned the themostat down to 60. I usually don’t put the heat on until after Hallowe’en — point of pride).

Didja get that lovely “first time the heater’s turned on” smell? When it burns all the dust off the coils (or whatever’s inside a furnace)?

Got a nastier smell than that, on account of it’s the first time this heater’s been turned on ever. Kind of a nasty “who burned the popcorn?” smell.

It’s a good thing I don’t live up north. I think 60 is cold.

Unfortunately, I have electric heat, and that costs a FORTUNE to run. So I’ll be shivering through the winter with the heater at 68 or so. At least I have a huge thick quilt my aunt made me a few years ago, and a little space heater I can put in the bathroom.

Yes, I tricked you, LK! But I tricked myself as well – I’d forgotten what the word meant.

Well, Mrs. Peel, Jimmeh says just put on another sweater, don’tchaknow.

[…] 18, 2008 · No Comments Weasel has some great thoughts on the elite chattering class. Go read it all. Intellectual superiors my […]

That is one first-rate rant.

Common decency compels me to tell warn that I’m stealing these:

“It’s the kind of empty gasbaggery that regularly leaks out of a second-rate intellect that has been dragged through a first-class education.”

“Every day of the week, chatty Joe Biden utters a thing so shockingly stupid it makes milk come out of Dan Quayle’s nose.”

Good eye, Becky, good eye!

Here’s one from Steve, over at Hog On Ice ( http://www.hogonice.com/ ):

I am going to the hardware store to buttonhole whoever smells the most like manure and make him tell me how to kill my St. Augustine grass..

Now doesn’t that just sing!?!

Ha! It does indeed.

If you’ve never seen Lileks’ “Gallery of Regrettable Food”, I recommend.

Start with meat.

http://lileks.com/institute/gallery/index.html

In the Odd Coincidences Department, I bring to your attention that Dave’s link has a reference to the Dionne quints.

But…but… the linky don’t worky! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Dammit. Let me try again: here

Beautiful! Linked.

“I am a person who believes” vs. “I believe” . . . I believe we’re talkin’ nuance here.

What an interesting catch, Sissy. My mother used to say, beware anyone who likes to use the formulation, “I’m the sort of person who…”

It’s an unnecessary linguistic tack-on that points to throbbing narcissism.

I prefer “Oh, stop teasing” to either “Would that it were” or “I wish.” Where’s my candidate?

[…] Weasel, regarding conservative elites (Brooks, Noonan, Parker, etc) piling on Palin (read the rest here): “Every day of the week, chatty Joe Biden utters a thing so shockingly stupid it makes milk […]