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Can we talk?


Hooray! We’ve reached Phase 2!

I’m thinking about…gently monetizing this blog. Nothing too exciting. Flog a few t-shirts. Run a couple of contextual ads. I dunno. At this stage, I’m just…buy-curious.

I hesitate to do this, because it’s ugly and stupid. Ugly all over my nice, clean monochrome artard blog. Stupid, because nobody is really making money. Ace gets precisely 200 times my daily traffic, and he still rattles the tip-jar when he wants to take a field trip.

But…what the hell. I spend way too much time here to make an actual living doing real work. And I’ve been unemployed for almost a year now; small change from the back of the couch would be a windfall (pennies a day is all it takes to keep a weasel in booze and spotted dick).

The one thing I won’t do is put up a tip jar. Beg pardon to those of you who have them, but that concept (from a user’s point of view) creeps me out somehow. It’s like telling your friends they owe you beer money because you’re so cool to hang out with.

Anyhow, I’m not rushing anything. But I figured I’d better say something before I start, because it means lots of screwing around with the site’s code. Guaranteed fuckupage. So if you turn up here and everything’s busted, close your eyes and think of Stoaty.

Good weekend, all!


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 9, 2009, 6:48 pm

LOL…. Uncle Badger isn’t supplying you with your spotted dick needs? MY GOD, WOMAN!! I’m a HELP DESK Tech, not a love councelor!!! /Dr Leonard (Bones) Mccoy accent… ๐Ÿ˜‰

Actually, I would LOVE to see you hock some of your artwork in the t-shirt market. Just be sure to throw in something with Obama and NuclearKitteh (ala Quatermass and the Pit) so I can get one…

And DEFINATELY Zombie Reagan. Those would go GREAT at the gun shows and Tea Party protests..

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 9, 2009, 6:54 pm

Meh, what can I say? I used to be a Sailor…

Sailors have dirty minds.

Comment from Duncan
Time: October 9, 2009, 7:04 pm

Put the Moronosphere News Network logo to t-shirt. More of your work along lines like that may generate a bottle or two.

Shop your services to pajamas media. The artwork at their site is lame to nonexistent. Not even a sweet coffee mug for the office rebel to carry around!

Comment from JJC
Time: October 9, 2009, 7:10 pm

Oh! Oh! Tee shirts, please! “It’s crashing…it’s crashing terrible. Oh, the Huge Vanity!”

Maybe not the easiest to get on a tee, but LOVE. THAT. and just about everything else you do. Yes, I’ll wear your artwork plastered across my chest and will happily pay for the privilege to do so.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: October 9, 2009, 7:14 pm


Ok, I’ll buy a T-shirt. I want the lil’ Tard with the helmet on a long-sleeve please. And bias your sizing towards XXL and up. Know yer audience. Just sayin.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 9, 2009, 7:18 pm

Oh, thats a good one, Grom…

“It puts the t-shirt on our skin, or it gets the hose again!” ๐Ÿ˜‰

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 9, 2009, 7:23 pm

Heh, Scoob. Aunty supplies all my dick these days.

I have to be careful about the ‘Shops. Shepard Fairey (he of the HOPE poster) got in the shit with the AP for nicking one of their Obama pitchers for his design. He won the suit (and rightly, in my view — he had changed it easily enough to qualify as original illustration, IMO), but…I’m not anxious to go there.

Mister Fairey and I went to the same art school, by the by.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 9, 2009, 7:39 pm

Damn. They don’t have any outlets in the U.S.

You’ll have to forgive me if I’m running even more lowbrow than normal today, I had to pull an all-nighter at work last night, AND get up in time for the commute again today….. ๐Ÿ™

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 9, 2009, 7:47 pm

Who, Aunty? Oh, there are American distributors of British foods where you can get some dick, Scoob. OR you could win the dead pool ๐Ÿ™‚

Lowbrow is not a problem. They didn’t give you the morning off after an all-nighter? Rough duty.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 9, 2009, 7:49 pm

I have a 90 minute commute between home and work that was compounded by pea soup fog in the early morning, then I had to get up for my normal shift today. small desk, so not alot of wiggle room on manning

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 9, 2009, 8:01 pm

Oof. Bad. I used to pull some stupid shifts where I had to stay up all night feeding film to a camera, but they’d usually cut me some slack next day.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 9, 2009, 8:09 pm

Well, we service the government, so no such luck.

Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: October 9, 2009, 8:18 pm

At this stage, Iโ€™m justโ€ฆbuy-curious.

I bet Uncle B was really excited to hear that line, until he looked at the text…

Aunty supplies all my dick these days.

[insert she-male joke here]

Comment from BuckNutty
Time: October 9, 2009, 8:28 pm

You should do it; t-shirts and mugs and stuff. I understand what you are saying about the tip jar, but the swag might not pay much to start (I really have no idea).

Another thing you could do is auction origional pieces or special eddition swag when you really hit a home run that generates links through the rightosphere.

Capitalism is good. Your sight is awsome. You should make money, lots of it I hope.

Comment from Steve Harkonnen
Time: October 9, 2009, 9:49 pm

Scubafreak said

Sailors have dirty minds.

They sure do. I was one myself, so Scubafreak is dead on about that one.

But for you, rodent, not a bad idea to at least think try and capitalize from your blogging efforts. I’ve given it some thought, but I feel I shouldn’t and that is why I don’t do it ~

10% Procrastination
90% Me thinking people will think I am conceited.

But, do as you must.

Comment from MCPO Airdale
Time: October 9, 2009, 10:15 pm

Weas – Do it! (unlike bubbleheads & skimmers, some us like to make a decision and move out)

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 9, 2009, 10:18 pm

that’s SWAB JOCKEY to you, ya bloomin’ Wing Wiper…. ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment from David Gillies
Time: October 9, 2009, 10:58 pm

I want to buy Weasel swag. Shipping it to Costa Rica is going to be a bitch, mind.

Comment from bad cat robot
Time: October 9, 2009, 11:40 pm

Weasel Swag, Weasel Swag, coming ‘oer the moor
Weasel Swag, Weasel Swag, hanging from your door,
She sells to the riiiich, because she is poooooor,
Weasel Swag, Weasel Swag, Weasel Swag!

(and I am not drunk. Lupine, anyone?)

Comment from weirdsister
Time: October 10, 2009, 2:41 am

Brilliant! That Obama Weiner would make a great bumper sticker. Also, I’d love a Zombie Reagan shirt! However, unlike our friend Gromulin, I would prefer mine in a size small. Know your audience. I’m just sayin’. ;-D

Comment from David Gillies
Time: October 10, 2009, 4:02 am

Bad cat robot: it’s Friday night. Why are you not drunk? Me, I’m lit up like a Christmas tree with Atkins-friendly Vodka+Coke Zero (and I have to get up in time for lunch at top-notch curry emporium with my BFF in preparation for THREE DAY WEEKEND OF DEBAUCHERY™. Yay!)

This thread needs more limericks and double dactyls.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: October 10, 2009, 4:28 am

Here’s one to start with

Higamous hogamous
Mustela nivalis
Mocking our Saviour with
Photoshops wry

Blissfully blind to the
MSM sacrament:
“Holy Obama, we’ll
Lay down and lie.”

Yeah, not great. But like I said, I’m drunk. At least it scans.

Comment from iamfelix
Time: October 10, 2009, 5:54 am

It is great, David, and so is BCR’s. ๐Ÿ™‚

Weasel Swag, Weasel Swag, I need some for me,
Weasel Swag, Weasel Swag, she’s done so much for free.
We’ll buy the lot, we all agreeeeee,
Weasel Swag, Weasel Swag, Weasel Swag!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 10, 2009, 7:10 am

Is vodka really atkins-friendly, David? I’m not atkinsing at the moment, but I could never work that one out. Is alcohol a freebie or an ultra-carb?

Comment from David Gillies
Time: October 10, 2009, 8:28 am

I’m diabetic, and from that standpoint vodka is zero-carb albeit not zero-calorie. According to my quack, distilled booze is what I should stick to. The precise dietetic parameters I wot not, but I’ve lost 20 kg since February to be a svelte 65 kg while maintaining good blood sugar so I don’t care.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: October 10, 2009, 8:49 am

Yay! More double-dactyls!

And weasel mugs and t-shirts could be very cool.

Comment from Pupster
Time: October 10, 2009, 9:25 am

Don’t think of it as a ‘tip jar’ Stoaty. Think of it as an over-sized brandy snifter resting majestically on the grand-piano of your artistic achievements.

It’s the open guitar case that the drunks on Piccadilly Circus through tuppence into as you crank out the latest Coldplay tune one more time.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: October 10, 2009, 11:08 am

My experience with the tip jar has been unimpressive. In the five years PB has been up & running (and with a tip jar, which I put there more out of curiosity than dreams of retiring to my own island in the Bahamas), PB has taken in two “tips” totaling $40. That won’t even keep me in hookers, let alone the coke to snort off their breasteses.

I’m now thinking government bailout. Or affiliating with ACORN (I know. Redundant.).

Comment from jwpaine
Time: October 10, 2009, 11:11 am

Seriously, though, your art is fine and original and funny; merchandising should make you a buck or two (or whatever they’re using for exchange over in Europistan these days).

For example, an 8×10 sticker of that “Titty-Baby Obama” you just posted would make all those hand-lettered protest signs look much snazzier.

Comment from Alice H
Time: October 10, 2009, 11:12 am

Coffee mugs. I wants coffee mugs!

Comment from James
Time: October 10, 2009, 11:44 am

Our local Copps has a rack in one aisle devoted to British foods, including tomato soup (not joking!) and spotted dick.
A “Huge Vanity” T-shirt might be nice to give the sister who worked for His Highness’ campaign.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: October 10, 2009, 11:54 am

I agree on the tip jar thing, that just seems immodest at best and disturbingly needy. Zombie Reagan posters and shirts could be fun, but who has extra money these days?

Comment from BuckNutty
Time: October 10, 2009, 11:58 am

If you do mugs, I would like to suggest (request) travel mugs. A lot of companies require travel mugs to reduce spilling.

Comment from MPFS recipient of Nobel Fish Sticks
Time: October 10, 2009, 12:46 pm

Do it weasel!

Comment from Tesla
Time: October 10, 2009, 12:49 pm

Avon. Can’t go wrong with Avon. Amway is good, too. Is Fuller Brush still in business? They had some dandy stuff for the tub.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 10, 2009, 1:13 pm

Yeah. I’m not exactly the best choice to sell cosmetics, Tesla.

Oh, man. When Time magazine is running Photoshops goofing on future Obama awards, he’s got a PR problem.

I think Ace is right; I think this Nobel has hurt him badly. The timing couldn’t be worse, after the SNL miniflap.

Sometimes, the killer rabbit is inevitable.

Comment from lauraw
Time: October 10, 2009, 2:20 pm


You only make a lousy pittance if you sell through that p-cafe place. I had an account going with a local place that made it possible for me to sell real nice logo merch through my business for a very reasonable price and net 50% just for supplying the art and the orders to them.

Or even bettah…you can drag that old silkscreen board and inks out of the trunk in your attic…did that make the move?
I used to have a little setup. Made nifty logo workshirts for my ex when he was just starting out on his own biz.

Comment from MCPO Airdale
Time: October 10, 2009, 3:21 pm

“I’ll tell me ma when I get home. . .”

Comment from Dawn
Time: October 10, 2009, 3:26 pm

My comment was removed by the moderator for being entirely unclever.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 10, 2009, 3:45 pm

Hm. Nothing in the queue, Dawn. Are you sure the comment didn’t just die of shame?

Oh, sure. Easy for you, Lauraw…you’ve got a shipping business and stuff. Man, I had to package a tin of haggis and take it to the post office and I was exhausted. I think any business that involves packaging things with my own fair hand is doomed to failure.

I’ve heard bad things about the cafe. You only make a pittance with Zazzle as well, but they seem to have better customer service.

Even a pittance would be a help. It’s not yet gotten to the point I have to ask my husband for pocket money, and I think I’d chew open a vein if it did.

That faint, keening wail you hear is my mother’s feminism trying to reach me from beyond the grave.

Comment from lauraw
Time: October 10, 2009, 4:46 pm

Well, if you’re going to do it, do it up style, lady.

You’re an artist. So art, art your ass off.
I think you can do better than t-shirts.

I’d pay a tidy little sum for a stoneware roasting pan with your sheep & baby lamb illustration glazed on it. Little lamby looked so pleased and plump lazing in the sunshine…adorable…GET IN MAH BELLY

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 10, 2009, 4:56 pm

Ohhhh…real art. Yes. That, too. But I have to keep my weasel name as far as possible from my people name. If the vicar ever learns I say “fuck” and make fun of slow children, I’ll be socially dead around here.

Comment from BuckNutty
Time: October 10, 2009, 5:00 pm

You could start simple with a free store on Cafe Press just to judge demand.

You could try some special items like Lauraw suggested and sell or auction them here. People love limited edition, or hard to find stuff. Look how many people here wanted the haggis and that shit is just gross.

There seems to be enough interest here for Zombi Reagan alone to justify uploading that one and seeing what happens.

Comment from dfbaskwill
Time: October 10, 2009, 6:38 pm

I’m in for a little cash sent your way. Artwork alone will earn you some moolah. I have a tip jar at my blog, but it only benefits my Penn State Track Team Alumni Golf Outing. I’m careful to always make sure my blog is worth exactly $0.
This says yours is worth $15,000!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 10, 2009, 7:30 pm

Sold to the man in the ridiculous tie!

Heh. It’s funny. Some of the very, very few people making money on blogs are those who blog about how to make money on blogs ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 10, 2009, 8:29 pm

I have a folder called Spamtastic for messages like this one. Babelfished from French to English:

hello!!! does Ca go??? I m’ call Svetlana. j’ am 29 years old. j’ already had bad experience to speak with the men in l’ Internet. we had an exceptional correspondence very a long time and I l’ believed. j’ have l’ practice to believe the men but this man has break-in my heart. j’ stays choquee and I did not know what I was to do. j’ have cease has to believe the men. j’ have starts has to work firm to forget all. j’ succeeded has to make the cariere but j’ understood that the life this n’ is not work. I want to be Aimee and I want to offer l’ love. I do not know why I tell you Ca j’ have looks at your prifil and j’ have decides t’ to write. I hate the lie and the plays with people. if your intentions are serious write my email:

Comment from BuckNutty
Time: October 10, 2009, 9:07 pm

I work with manufacturers in China, Korea, and Vietnam. 20% of the email they send is translated into English by computer programs. It’s useually funny but it can drive you nuts if you need the information.

Comment from Dave in Texas
Time: October 10, 2009, 10:44 pm

lauraw is teh smarty, and also has a hump which contains her brain I think.

Your gig doll, if I may be so bold, is your artistic funnay. It’s pretty good stuff.

I am not just sucking up here. You made a dead weasel look like it was taking a nap. That’s TALENT.

If I were a marketing puke (and on occasion I am, when I’m not closing the books each month), I’d play that shit as much as I could. And by that I mean a combination of Weaselart and merchandise.

Everybody wants to see those little boogs lookin back at em from a coffee cup. They’re just stinkin cute. If you can add the “American abroad” angle, even better. Twain quotes. Crystal meth. Something.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: October 10, 2009, 11:40 pm

I imagine a powerful disincentive to seriously knuckling under and working for a living in today’s UK is that as soon as you get to some nugatory income like £40,000 a year Gordon Brown nicks two thirds of it. By comparison being a kept woman must be very appealing ๐Ÿ™‚

God the raccoons are driving me nuts tonight. They’ve been either fighting or humping for hours. It’s amazing how much racket they kick up. Just thought I’d share that.

Comment from Pupster
Time: October 11, 2009, 12:21 am

I dunno Weasey…that Svetelana chick sounds pretty sincere. You should totally check that out.

OH…pose-able Weasels! Like those old Gumby dolls? That would be really cool.

Comment from Tesla
Time: October 11, 2009, 2:02 pm

FWIW your wit and humor are extraordinary. I always come here each day with a little background thought of what the hell will the WEASEL be up to today. Kinda like when Calvin and Hobbes was running or great satirical cartoonists like Oliphant. I don’t know if this will help you make any $$$ but your work is certainly appreciated by this motley crew.

Comment from Mike C.
Time: October 11, 2009, 2:28 pm

Hmm. Well, when we re-built the crashed GCP, ads were discussed. The consensus was not ‘no’ but ‘Hell, no !’ But then, it’s not this sort of blog, either.

BTW, Stoatie, I think your registration went south during the last ‘zero posts’ purge. Not a ban, just an account deletion. I’m trying to figure out some automatic way to prevent that sort of thing. Sorry.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 11, 2009, 2:38 pm

Ugh, Mike C. I haven’t visited so many sites in so long; I feel quite itchy about it. I enjoyed being a blogroll gadfly and leaving weasel droppings all over the blogosphere. Still, I’m oh-so-very happy not to be driving a desk any more!

Thank you, Tesla. I promise that fame and fortune will utterly and completely ruin me. Just give me a chance…

Comment from Gromulin
Time: October 11, 2009, 2:57 pm

How about “selling” digital art? Kinda halfway between Tipjar and outsourced mercandise. $5 donation gets a bunch of Wallpaper-sized .jpgs? I’d kick in either way. I really like both the P-shops and the original arts. I’d like to see more of the original stuff personally. I agree with the poster above about that lil lamb drawing you did a while back was beautiful. My 6 y/o daughter loved it. Oh wait…there you go…paint-by-numbers weaselware for the kiddies!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 11, 2009, 3:22 pm

Awww…thanks, Gromulin. I’m persuing “legitimate” art, as well. Sadly, I have to draw a bright line between Mrs So-and-so, artist and pillar of her community, and the poo-flinging monkey who lives at sweasel.com.

Comment from cube
Time: October 12, 2009, 10:39 am

Poo-flinging monkeys of the blogosphere keeping their identities secret while they fight the evil state run media lies … sounds like a new Hall of Justice in the making to me.

Comment from BigBlueBug
Time: October 13, 2009, 9:00 am

Water Skiing Weasel shirts.

You can thank me later.

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