Long tails and ears for hats…
Oh, right. I was going to let this go. I’m not made of stone, you know.
OH, and — listen to the original J and the Ps theme (or the whole damn album. You knew there was an album, didn’t you?) here.
God, childhood sucked, didn’t it?
November 2, 2009 — 6:21 pm
Comments: 42
In the Age of Obama, EVERYONE gets a prize
I heard back from Zazzle. They say they pulled my Nobel designs because the medal is trademarked. That sounds very plausible, actually. Supposedly, by taking the words “Nobel Prize” off, the stuff will be okay. We’ll see.
I SWEARS I’ll quit flogging my lame crap now. I just don’t have a whole to say for myself today. We drove way up the coast to our favorite chish and fips shop, and I drove all the way there and all the way back. Really kicked my ass.
I can’t relax for a second driving here. The roads are too narrow, everyone drives too fast for conditions and, of course, they’re doing it all the wrong way around. It doth suck, but my driving instructor is on vacation this week, so I need the practice.
Next up, written exam! My US license is only good until the end of this month 🙁
October 29, 2009 — 8:28 pm
Comments: 37
Mourning in America
Thanks to AliceH from D-Pud for kicking my tail, I’ve finally got a production version of Zombie Reagan up on the Zazzle site. Two Reagan shirt/mug variants and a bumper sticker. More to come.
Sadly, the product AliceH particularly wanted — Zombie Reagan postage stamps for mailing those critical government forms — is not to be. Violation of the postal guidelines:
• Result: Not Approved
• Policy Violations:o Design incorporates the name or likeness of a current or former world leader or politician, or a local, regional, national or international leader, religious figurehead, or politician.
I was hoping the undead version wouldn’t count.
Anyhoo, thanks to Alice (and Ace!) I’m well on my way to a cool twenty bucks!
October 28, 2009 — 6:54 pm
Comments: 27
But…dude…
He’s loving himself some mop metaphors this week. Here’s one incarnation:
I’m busy and Nancy is busy with our mop cleaning up somebody else’s mess — we don’t want somebody sitting back saying, ‘you’re not holding the mop the right way,”’ Obama had said last week. “Why don’t you grab a mop, why don’t you help clean up… ‘You’re not mopping fast enough… That’s a socialist mop,’ He told the crowd: Grab a mop — let’s get to work.
You know, if I had come up with the idea of our president wielding that mop, I’m pretty sure that would actually, for reals be straight-up racist. Or race stereotyping, anyhow, which is much the same thing. I’m guessing the idea didn’t hit a nerve with him because he hasn’t touched a whole lot of mops in his privileged life.
Which reminds me…dude was raised by an elderly white couple in Hawaii. When he starts dropping his g’s and saying “y’all” and “folks” and sech, you know you’re listening to Reverend Wright.
October 26, 2009 — 9:15 am
Comments: 21
Meghan McCain’s feckless mammaries shatter the internet
Okay, so I’m a week late. Lighten up, it’s Friday!
Good weekend, everyone!
October 23, 2009 — 4:19 pm
Comments: 22
Really? REALLY?!
So the Obama administration doesn’t think Fox is a real news organization. Okay. You want to conflate editorial with news and pick a fight, eh. It’s a point of view.
Then he invites Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow and Maureen Dowd over for an intimate chat?! GAH! That pegs my WhatTheFuckometer to twelve. Twelve, I tell you!
Is there ANY sense in which that was a smart move? Even if it helps keep all the attendees on side — seriously, was he likely to lose Olbermann or Dowd? — it totally screws that journalistic integrity thing they’re always banging on about. Sure, we thought the lot were lying leftist ratbags all along, but now they’ve gone and done something that looks bad. Will they have to go negative to clear their names, or will they wear their sellout proudly?
And what about all the lying leftist ratbags who weren’t invited? Will they really be more positive after this? Or less, from bruised feelings and journalistic chops?
And Fox — how high can their ratings go, anyway? Even the lefties will have to watch now, to be sure there isn’t stuff the other guys are afraid to touch.
Somebody’s been steaming up the Potomac with tankers full of industrial grade stupid, I tells you.
October 22, 2009 — 7:25 pm
Comments: 16
Unserious people
I’ve got my numbers right, haven’t I? We’re ten months in, and I know the fundraiser tally is correct. As for the number of times he’s met with General McChrystal — there was a briefing back when Obama took office, and then he scraped up half an hour during his craptacular Olympics bid. Did I miss anything?
This is about the level of artwork you can expect from me for a while. I busted the pen to my Wacom tablet. Actually, Damien busted it three years ago, when he was a wee baby psychotic, and I’ve been holding it together with hope and chewing gum ever since. It finally gave up the ghost last night.
I have a spare. Somewhere. I was using it when I first got here, before the rest of my stuff arrived, so it definitely made it. Tragically, finding it will require…housecleaning.
October 21, 2009 — 4:41 pm
Comments: 9
Return of the big baby
I continue to be well and truly gobsmacked by the quantum of stupid radiating out of this White House. Even if you believe Fox News is the font of all faux-journalistic evil, calling them out publicly is the dumbest possible approach. It diminishes the office of the president while it elevates Fox. When Helen Thomas tells you to grow a pair and stop abetting your enemies, you’re doing something extra special in the annals of whining.
And — best of all — this puts all the other news outlets in a really, really awkward spot. The White House has ordered them not to pay attention to stories sourced by Fox. Flat out ordered them. In front of the cameras and everything.
Now what? They want to obey. They hate Fox and love Obama with equal passion. The White House has made it cear that it won’t take the slightest criticism without retaliation, so they have to butter his bottom to get sweet, sweet access. And Fox breaks all the stories the MSM hates to cover.
On the other hand, some of the stories Fox has been breaking are undeniably news. Journalists have made such a big fucking deal out of being independent whistleblowers. A bulwark against the power of the state. An extra-Constitutional fourth branch of government. The Dissenters.
Watchoo gonna do now, boys?
October 20, 2009 — 1:00 pm
Comments: 27
Wrong tree. Am I barking up one?
I’ve had requests to put poor old Zombie Reagan on stuff since I first posted him. Sadly, the original drawing is quite small. It would come out about an inch and a half wide printed at 300 dpi.
I have serious finaldraftophobia. If I’m too pleased with a rough idea, I will always fumble the final, for-reals version. So, rather than trying to redraw this illustration, I thought I’d try going back to the official portrait and do a Photoshop job. Fortunately, the photo is available quite large, and I doubt there are any copyright issues with presidential portraits.
The question is, is this creepier than it is funny? I can’t make up my mind. I haven’t invested a whole lot of time in it yet, and before I labor to overlay cobwebs and strings of executive beef jerky, I’d like a second opinion or ten.
You know that “line” people talk about? I can never see the damned thing for myself.
October 19, 2009 — 6:38 pm
Comments: 41
Gots to start somewhere…
Ordinarily, my MO would be to spend a week or two twiddling around with the graphics and layout and stuff, but I can’t resist jumping on the dogpile and taking craven advantage of Dear Leader’s latest humiliation….ummm…triumph…ahhhh….well-deserved award. So, here’s my test storefront and this links directly to my first shirt idea.
DON’T buy something to do me a favor, you wonderful bastards. I’ve turned the commission way, way down — as far as it’ll go — while I work out the kinks. I’d get pennies. I’m not doing this one for me, I’m doing it for Dear Leader.
DO, please…if you get a chance…go over and poke the buttons and pull the levers and let me know what you think of Zazzle and the interface and the range of products they’ve got. It’s all very rough at the moment, but that’s okay — the store template has customizable CSS, so I can really screw it up if I put my mind to it.
Oh, and my shirt idea. If you have suggestions, I can make changes. I want to get it right. It’s not every day that Obama gets accolades just for teh Awesome.
Oh, wait…yes it is!
October 11, 2009 — 3:19 pm
Comments: 44