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Happy EDM day!

I don’t actually approve of this, you know.

I went to a particularly flaky art school (the Rhode Island School of Design) during a particularly flaky era (the late Seventies) and I’ve seen enough mental retardation masquerading as art to last a lifetime.

There was one egregious kid in my year — I’ve just Googled his name, and I’m delighted to report Google knowest him not — whose whole schtick was sit around thinking up offensive shit. For his end-of-term project in 3D design, he went down to a slaughterhouse and got four bloody severed horse legs, piled them in the middle of the studio floor and called it “Goodbye, Mister Ed.”

Offensive is for people who desperately want attention but don’t have the talent to get it the usual way. Offensive is the “moon, June, croon” of the post-Modern world — it’s dumb, it’s formulaic and it’s so fucking boring.

In a free world, we have to tolerate offensive but we don’t have to celebrate it. Or for chrissakes give it government arts grants. You hear me lefties? I have to put up with Piss Christ, but you shouldn’t oughta have made me pay for it.

When offensive is aimed at the same groups over and over again — people who can’t do much about it but wave a sign or boycott an advertiser — that’s just plain bullying.

Bullies. That’s the word for people who only pick on those who can’t or won’t fight back. “Courage” isn’t even in the same zip code.

So, sorry Muslims — have a little sacrilege. It’s only fair. You want SUV’s, cell phones and dialysis, you’re going to have to put up with stupid offensive shit, too. Freedom is the common denominator.

When you have to live in a world where some things make you crazy angry, my advice is — don’t go looking for them.

Picture was EZnSF’s idea. Dude, I wish you’d said something earlier. I’m tight for time this week; I could’ve used a couple more days to have fun with this. Here’s a big color version just for you. Kidding — it’s for anyone who wants it, but EZ can have the FaceBook honors.

Update: Since EZ doesn’t seem to be around, I posted the illo to FB. But I gave you a shout-out!


Comment from Clifford Scridlow
Time: May 20, 2010, 5:52 pm

Oooohh. . . Now you’ve done it. I’m going right out to get a fatwah and whatnot. And a package of jihad while I’m at it. You’ll soon see. Infidel weasel.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:04 pm

Great. You post your drawing an hour after I’ve lost patience and produced one of my own. Well, mine’s better, anyway. So there. Nyah.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:04 pm

A friend of mine who is a professional photographer and a total conservative once confessed to me he thought Piss Christ was rather eerie and beautiful to look at. If you’ve ever seen a large, high-resolution version of it…he’s right.

If only it wasn’t, you know…pee.

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:05 pm

Awesome picture S.Weasel…I’d ask for a T-Shirt version but don’t want to get mugged…maybe a coffee mug? 🙂

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:08 pm

Hahaha…very nice, jw.

I remember years ago there was a TV ad for Preparation H, showing little animated symbols for itching and burning and so on. Your drawing is the spitting image of “itching.”

I’ll never forget my mother indignantly pointing to the television and hissing, “that’s a little itchy asshole!

Comment from Princess Bernie
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:10 pm

Love. It.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:11 pm

Ha! I don’t think Zazzle would touch this in a zillion years, QM. They just pulled a bunch of products with the Saudi Arabian flag on them, just for having the flag on them.

I have to admit, the furious woman whose dog jacket with the Iranian flag got pulled cracked me up. Lady. Seriously. A dog jacket — you weren’t going to sell any of those to Iranians anyhow.

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:18 pm

“Ha! I don’t think Zazzle would touch this in a zillion years, QM”

…gonna have to start underground/bootleg sales of your own content 🙂

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:23 pm

Awesome job as always Stoaty! I put mine up this morning. I really need to work on my portrait skills. Mo went all twisty on me. Fortunately Amazon delivered my Bridgman books earlier this week And I’m gonna practice this weekend.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:25 pm

Sales aren’t the problem. You do stuff like t-shirts, for example, you have to pre-make (and pay for) X amount in six or seven sizes on a particular style of shirt, then store them, package them, ship them and deal with returns and leftovers and so on. With print on demand, you only get a small part of the sale…but with a tiny fraction of the ass-ache.

I’m really too lazy to be an entrepreneur.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:27 pm

Bridgman is totally the man, Enas! I’ve got my grandfather’s copy of…I forget which one. Every minute spent slavishly copying a Bridgman is like ten minutes floundering around on your own…

Comment from mongo
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:28 pm

Had I not been working on painting for two entry deadlines myself, I would have joined in the festivities. However, I could never match this greatness. I would TOTALLY drink my tea out of a mug with this mug on it. FatWad be damned! OOOH, while I wear a pair of Zombie Mohammed panties?!? Anyone? anyone…

Comment from Lissa
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:31 pm

Zombie Reagan does not approve!!! 🙂

Me, I can’t draw, so I took the Mohammed from the Supreme Court building.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:35 pm

Thnx, Weez. I spent a lot of time and effort googling, downloading, cropping & renaming creating that work of art.

Pingback from Fausta’s Blog » Blog Archive » The 93,000
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:41 pm

[…] 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 […]

Comment from Joan of Argghh!
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:47 pm

The tea-towel turban is a lovely touch!

Comment from BigBlueBug
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:51 pm

I wishes I had some artistic skills.

I would have drawn Mo as Otis passed out in the
Mayberry jail.

Comment from Allen
Time: May 20, 2010, 6:59 pm

That’s really quite good Weasel. I can’t say why but it gives me a creepy feeling. So did Munch’s “The Scream” so I’m not being critical if anyone thinks I am.

Now if you want a real hoot check out the logo for the 2012 London Olympics.

Now that’s “art” Bwahahahaha! It has a Simpsons quality to it. In a retarded sort of way.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: May 20, 2010, 7:34 pm

Most Excellent.

Comment from Bill (still the .00358% of your traffic that’s from Iraq) T
Time: May 20, 2010, 7:57 pm

Allen, that Olympic logo didn’t creep me out as much as the “five main areas of focus are Bio-Diversity / Healthy Living / Inclusion / Waste / Climate Change.”

Looks like the main focus is on *Waste* right now.

Oooooooh — Zombie Mo would fit right nicely into that jagged supposed-to-be-a-zero in the logo…

Comment from Allen
Time: May 20, 2010, 8:09 pm

Bill, true, they do seem to be pretty good at that. Here’s their new Olympic Mascots.

Though I must admit they could visually represent a possible lyric from The Beatles’ Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

“Cyclopsian teletubbies with plasticine thighs.”

I miss the Brits. They used to be so resolute.

Comment from Michael
Time: May 20, 2010, 8:20 pm

Man, not even one Muslim has shown up to express his outrage. Color me disappointed.

Comment from Sigivald
Time: May 20, 2010, 8:56 pm

Good art doesn’t need government subsidies, it’s true.

Comment from MarkT
Time: May 20, 2010, 10:00 pm

Spooky, but excellent! I really admired what you had to say and how you said it, too, Sweasel. Good stuff.

Comment from Bruno Braun
Time: May 20, 2010, 10:06 pm

Soooo… your’re saying that mo is an itchy little asshole? Sounds right.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: May 20, 2010, 10:19 pm

16:16 local (23:16 UK) – earthquake! Wheeee!

Felt like a 5.0 or thereabouts.

No doubt it’s old Mo getting the hump about all the pictures.

Comment from Oceania
Time: May 20, 2010, 11:11 pm

Ahhhh … brilliant!

Well done!

The only thing you wrap in a tea towel is a fruit cake.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: May 21, 2010, 12:09 am

I’d laugh my ass off if some southern redneck muslim went to the tv stations claiming that he saw Mohammed’s face on a pulled pork sandwich….. 😉

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: May 21, 2010, 12:35 am

When I was an undergraduate at Cal, the anthropology department shared Kroeber Hall with Art, and there was often student “artwork” in the halls. One semester there was what seemed to be a huge chunk of meat hammered to the wall; I thought it quite realistic, and wondered what sort of lame political statement the “artist” was trying to make–until after a couple of days it became clear that it was an actual chunk of meat, a point made obvious when it started to go bad. After many student and professorial complaints, the janitors took it down, leaving only the nails sticking out of the wall.

The student raised a fuss, claiming his rights were being squashed and all the usual lefty claptrap, but the university–for once–held firm, saying that putrefying food was a health hazard.

It was days before the nasty smell was gone from the first floor foyer of Kroeber Hall.

Named after Alfred Kroeber, he of anthropology fame, who was, in case you didn’t know (and for the sake of this discussion we’ll pretend you care), the father of Ursula Le Guin, she of sci-fi fame.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: May 21, 2010, 12:36 am

Oh, yeah, and my point, I sort of lost it there…I agree with you 100%.

Comment from Leslie
Time: May 21, 2010, 12:47 am

Nothing says “Target” like Mo! Or maybe the Olympic mascots – do they come in materials that shatter when shot?

Comment from EZnSF
Time: May 21, 2010, 12:51 am

I knew I loved you to much Sweasel. Brilliance as always.

Thanks for posting it to FB. I’ve since had my FB account deleted, TWICE, for posting a pic of Mohammed as an Hasidic Jew. But I am delighted yours got there.
PBUY aaa lalalalalalala brains!

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: May 21, 2010, 1:02 am

I can just hear it…

“Zombie Mohammed and Zombie Islamic Rage Boy with a moldy pancake on his head walk into a bar………”

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 21, 2010, 1:20 am

The main FB Draw Mohammed page has been taken down in the last hour or so, EZ. This one is still live, as of right now.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: May 21, 2010, 2:54 am

LOL….. Eddie_K at the Cornfield has suggested a line of Condoms with Mohammed’s face on the tip…

Waddia think, stoatie? is there a company somewhere that is ‘up’ tothe challenge? 😉

Comment from David Gillies
Time: May 21, 2010, 4:07 am

Yikes, it was a 6.3. No word on any casualties.

I was going to do a Mo-toon but a) I can’t draw, unless it’s a third angle projection of a widget or a schematic for a circuit board and b) I am a procrastinator of the first water.

Comment from JuliaM
Time: May 21, 2010, 6:52 am

“I went to a particularly flaky art school (the Rhode Island School of Design) during a particularly flaky era (the late Seventies) and I’ve seen enough mental retardation masquerading as art to last a lifetime.”

The tide does seem to be turning, though.

Comment from JuliaM
Time: May 21, 2010, 6:58 am

Oh, not that that last’s always a good thing.

Losing Landseers so as not to upset the numpties isn’t anything to laugh about.

Comment from BigBluBug
Time: November 10, 2011, 10:16 pm

Losing Landseers so as not to upset the numpties isn’t anything to laugh about.

Indeed. Who protects the little darlings from the horror of Emily:

The Whole of it came not at once—
‘Twas Murder by degrees—
A Thrust—and then for Life a chance—
The Bliss to cauterize—

The Cat reprieves the Mouse
She eases from her teeth
Just long enough for Hope to tease—
Then mashes it to death—

‘Tis Life’s award—to die—
Contenteder if once—
Than dying half—then rallying
For consciouser Eclipse—

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