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I can’t resist.

Sorry for the big file (for this site, anyway); I had to make sure jpegging didn’t make it unreadable.

This is the document everyone was laughing about yesterday, if you haven’t seen it. I didn’t see the second page of this until today (it starts at Religion). I mean, there are one or two things I could quibble with but, on the whole, this would be my list of Shit You Must Do and Be to Succeed.

The NMAAHC is the National Museum of African American History and Culture, part of the Smithsonian museums. But I’m just going to assume a white supremacist actually wrote it.

Have a good weekend, everyone!

p.s. my on-screen keyboard capitalizes random words without asking me. One of those words is ‘white’. First time I don’t catch that in a tweet, somebody’s going to yell at me.

July 17, 2020 — 6:36 pm
Comments: 11

What. Is. The. Point.

Uncle B snagged the last packet of masks from Aldi this afternoon. He thought it might be useful to have them in the car in case we need to do an emergency shop, like gas up.

Behold, the useless gesture!

I take the point that any face covering, no matter how lame, might protect other people from my aerosolized eruptions. If I were sick.

But mostly “your mask protects me and my mask protects you” is the license assholes wanted to abuse strangers in shops. I don’t think this will go as smoothly as they anticipate.

Feh. Off for that bath I didn’t have last night.

July 16, 2020 — 7:59 pm
Comments: 11


My guest for tomorrow called and cancelled. You know what that means? I DEEP CLEANED THE LOO FOR NOTHIN’.

And don’t try to fob me off with a, “oh, but isn’t it nice to have a clean bathroom?” I’m not having it. I broke a bottle of very expensive bath oil in the process and now the whole house smells of…very expensive bath oil. Which would be nice if it wasn’t overpowering.

In rebellion, I am not taking a bath tonight. I might as well stink. Nobody could tell in here.

July 15, 2020 — 8:28 pm
Comments: 7

Oooo…that’s not sinister at all…

Welp, they’ve done it. They’ve mandated masks (ten days from now, which makes even less sense). That’s me and Uncle B confined to quarters again for a while. Him, because of scruples and me (pff! scruples?) because neurotic.

I’ll be interested to see how compliant people here are. It’s a £100 fine and it will be enforced by police, so largely unenforced then. There’s almost zero police presence outside big cities.

My guess? Women will comply and men will defy.

Speaking of compliance, Bill Gates And GAVI Vaccine Alliance are working on an AI-Powered ‘Trust Stamp’ to combine vaccine, biometric ID and payment processor. In West Africa. Of course.

They’ve been working on it since 2018, so it was conveniently COVID-ready. That’s much scarier than the bug.

Note the article (and the illustration above) are from a site called Humans Are Free which the Internet tells me is a hotbed of kookery. I suspect because they don’t believe in globular warmening. I vaguely feel like I’ve heard of it, but the webs are so big these days.

July 14, 2020 — 5:26 pm
Comments: 12


That there is a tiny oil derrick in Nottingham Sherwood Forest. Yes, that Sherwood Forest. Pupster sent me a link to the story about Oklahoma oil jacks coming to the UK during WWII to pump oil out of the forest and feed the insatiable armies of the allies.

He actually found the story on Imgur, but warned me not to go there. I guess it has become woke. I’m not sure. I took his advice and didn’t explore. Though, funny thing, the moment I hit his link, I remembered my login and password. Does that ever happen to you?

I used to hang out at Imgur a lot. I like pitchers.

Anyway, it was a kindness. I discovered today that we might have VISITORS on Thursday afternoon. I have told them they are strictly not allowed in the house, but I figured I’d better clean the bathroom in case someone just can’t.

I’m getting better. The oldest magazine was only 2018.

So – thanks Pups!

July 13, 2020 — 8:11 pm
Comments: 9

Eh, I hope not

It looks like they may be about to mandate masks in shops here. That’s a problem.

Uncle B won’t wear one on principle. He thinks they are at best useless and at worst make an infected person get the nasty version of the bug by making him rebreathe his own tainted air. He’s got the articles to back it up, too.

Me, I’d be willing to wear one. I’ll do just about anything for a quiet life. But wearing a fabric mask sets off my gag reflex something wicked. I’ve experimented with all kinds as a cyclist – chugging air in Winter cold is a misery – and I haven’t found one I can stand. Something about warm, moist air just…ugh.

If they make a rule, we’ll have to go back to deep lockdown conditions.

I’ve seen some wild videos of people who refuse to wear masks to the point of grievous bodily harm. A bus driver in Spain(?) got mobbed by passengers to death. I don’t really understand getting that passionate about it, either.

Won’t anyone think of lazy, apathetic weasels?

Good weekend, everyone!

July 10, 2020 — 8:06 pm
Comments: 22

It’s here!

My Banjo Hangout t-shirt! This is such an awesome deal, y’all. Annual membership is $20, which includes the t-shirt. Shipping, even to here, is free.

I have an idea he no more than breaks even. You can buy the shirt alone for $12, which is stupid cheap. Good heavy t-shirt and always a nice graphic.

I don’t hang out in the forums, but they have a terrific library of tab. After all this time, I basically own an entire wardrobe of banjo-themed t-shirts.

You’d be amazed how many times people say, “you don’t actually play the banjo, though, right?” Which is dog-whistle for, “but you have all your teeth and speak in complete sentences.”

July 9, 2020 — 8:11 pm
Comments: 10

And then Noam Chomsky got cancelled

Sort of. Twitter is a crazier place than usual today, which is saying a hell of a lot.

Has anyone signed up to Parler? There seems to be a general movement of wingnuts in that direction.

I noped when registration required a phone number. I also heard someone say you got “demerits” for certain kinds of behavior. I don’t really know anything beyond that rumor.

Didn’t care for Gab at all.

You could ask why I need a Twitter substitute at all. The answer is it’s good to have rapid fire social media when there’s breaking news and stuff.

Or when I’m bored.

July 8, 2020 — 8:17 pm
Comments: 7

But it’s so small…

I had no idea Mt Rushmore was so tiny. Did you? You always see that one angle where it looks humongous.

Okay, not counting the people who have seen it in person. I didn’t, even though we did that family “drive across America in a camper” thing twice (1966 and 1967, I think). Didn’t see the Grand Canyon, either.

Speaking of spotting things in the wild, we stopped for fish and chips this afternoon. I stayed in the car and Uncle B came running out hissing, “they’ve got deep fried Mars bars and Snickers bars!” The stuff of legends. Never actually seen it before.

No, we didn’t order it.

July 7, 2020 — 8:17 pm
Comments: 14

Goat butt jokes are evergreen

I’m getting a real Steve Reeves in Hercules vibe off the protagonist in my new game. Mostly his voice. I’m not sure if it enhances it or distracts me.

-=SPOILER=- The thing in his right hand, by the way, is the prosthetic eye of the character nicknamed Cyclops. You are about to jam it up the bum of a goat. After stressing to you how valuable the eye is, I was disturbed the game didn’t give me an opportunity to retrieve it.

Yeah, I’d do it. I’ve seen enough episodes of All Creatures Great and Small.

Anyway, I looked up Hercules and discovered that many if not all MST3K episodes are on YouTube. (Hercules is #502). I guess after capping every episode with “keep circulating the tapes” they couldn’t very well complain about piracy.

July 6, 2020 — 8:44 pm
Comments: 7